


POV

by europa_illusion



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Awkward Conversations, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2020-10-18 00:34:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 67,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20630138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/europa_illusion/pseuds/europa_illusion
Summary: When Carol Danvers and Natasha Romanov meet for the first time, it's all awkwardness. Will subsequent encounters lead to romance or disaster?





	1. Chapter 1

\-----

"Natasha, I'd like you to meet..."

The woman looked up and suddenly Carol was gazing into dark emerald green eyes. Carol stopped moving.

Holy shit she's beautiful.

This was the only thought she could muster. She could see the beautiful woman's lips moving, knew that she should probably be listening, but it was like her brain had short-circuited and she could only handle one task at the moment:

Blinking... I should blink. And breathe, am I holding my breath?

There we go, I'm blinking, I'm breathing, ok now I should probably be listening.

The beautiful woman abruptly stopped talking.

Shit.

Carol smiled.

"So", she extended her hand, "I'm Carol".

The beautiful woman furrowed her brow.

Glancing down at Carol's extended hand, she cleared her throat, "As I was saying, it's nice to meet you, Captain Marvel." Her voice was low and slightly husky, and Carol could feel her heartbeat kick up a notch.

She swallowed.

"Please... I prefer Carol." She gave the beautiful woman her best impish grin, hoping that her charm would start to kick in.

The beautiful woman cleared her throat again, "Of course. Carol. If you'll excuse me."

She turned on her heel and strode off.

Damn...

So much for first impressions.

Carol watched the beautiful woman walk away and realized that Steve was speaking now.

She glanced at him, "I'm sorry, what?"

\-----

"Natasha, I'd like you to meet Captain Marvel."

Natasha glanced up. And did an involuntary double-take. She was met with warm chestnut colored eyes.

Wow. 

The woman was breathtaking. Strength and power emanated from her. The woman's eyes locked on her own and Natasha could feel herself start to drift.

Get your shit together Romanov.

She gathered herself in an instant, her old training kicking in. 

"It's nice to meet you Captain Marvel. Welcome to the team."

The other woman didn't seem to hear her. Then suddenly she smiled.

"So", she extended her hand, "I'm Carol".

The smile made her chestnut eyes twinkle and Natasha had to stifle her own smile. She glanced down at the other woman's extended hand and thought it best to avoid physical contact.

She cleared her throat.

"As I was saying, it's nice to meet you, Captain Marvel."

"Please... I prefer Carol."

The other woman smiled again only this one was warmer and borderline flirty. Natasha felt her breathing hitch slightly. This woman was making her feel warm all over, and this was definitely not the place for that.

She cleared her throat again.

"Of course. Carol. If you'll excuse me."

She walked briskly away. Too briskly? She resisted the urge to look back. This was definitely not the place for that. Natasha had business to attend to.

As she walked out of earshot she let out a breath. "Damn..." she whispered to herself.

\-----


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned that everyone is alive and no one is going to die? K good. Read on!

\-----

A sudden gurgling noise grabbed Natasha's attention. Holy shit, when was the last time she ate? She rubbed her temples, which were protesting almost as much as her stomach. Deciding they could be ignored no longer, she left her desk and made her way to the communal kitchen.

Making her way down the hallway she could hear laughter coming from the kitchen. Realizing she probably hadn't laughed in a couple days, she smiled to herself and quickened her pace. Tony must be telling one of his pre-Iron Man stories again. Entering the kitchen she was greeted with the sight of several of her friends sitting at a table, all of them laughing and looking at... Carol. Steve was still chuckling holding his side and Tony was wiping his eyes. Carol had obviously just finished telling a fantastic story. She was wearing civilian clothes now, a leather jacket over a t-shirt with jeans, which made her look a little more ordinary but somehow more hot. Leather, it seemed, suited her just as well as a skin-tight superhero costume.

As she entered the room everyone looked up at her, greeting her with "Hi Nat," and smiles, all except Carol. She remained silent and just looked at the redhead with her warm chestnut eyes, one eyebrow cocked.

Natasha gathered some food and sat down near the group. It was then that she noticed, to her chagrin, that everyone else was just finishing up their meals, except Carol who looked like she was just getting started as well. Natasha wasn't sure why that bothered her, but as each of her comrades filed out of the room, and she realized it was just going to be the two of them at the table together, she suddenly felt a pit in her stomach that was not hunger-induced.

She forced herself to start eating, looking around the room trying to look as casual as possible. What was it about this woman that made her self-conscious? Natasha never gave two shits about what people thought of her.

Carol, for her part, made no attempt to look casual. She quietly stared at Natasha, a slight smirk on her face.

"So, how do you like our compound?" Natasha blurted out.

Stupid question, but if someone didn't break the uncomfortable silence her head was going to explode.

"Oh it's nice." Carol smiled, she took in her surroundings, "Much better than the places I usually end up. Plus, it's nice to be back on Earth. I especially missed these."

She grinned and motioned to the object in her hand - a cheeseburger.

Natasha raised an eyebrow, "Been awhile?"

Carol smiled slightly. "You could say that."

The way she said it made Natasha's cheeks redden slightly.

Carol cleared her throat, "If you can believe it, burgers only seem to be an Earth thing. So sad." She shook her head and took a big bite, making happy sounds as she gleefully chewed. She looked like a little kid and yet Natasha found it hard to look away.

When was the last time she had enjoyed something that much?

Carol swallowed and followed it with a nice long sip of her soda. Seriously, the woman seemed so pleased. Natasha should have been annoyed but she actually found it amusing. Maybe because it seemed so genuine.

"So, you've met everyone?" Natasha ventured.

"Yeah, I think so. I've been having some fun with the people down in the science lab. They apparently can't get over my energy output." She laughed, and in response to Natasha's questioning look, she added, "I burnt out a few of their toys..."

Natasha smiled before she could stop herself. That would have been fun to watch.

"So yeah, I've made the rounds I guess." Carol paused and took another sip of her soda. "Haven't seen you around much though. Are you avoiding me?"

Natasha's eyebrows shot up before she could stop them. Carol stared pointedly at her, a playful expression spreading across her features.

Fighting the urge to giggle (what the fuck?) Natasha swallowed. Damn this woman could make her squirm. 

"No, not at all. I'm just usually at my desk or in the gym." She said simply, trying not to stammer. Carol nodded.

"I saw the gym, looks pretty bad-ass. I also heard you have some pretty cool gardens here. I haven't had the chance to see those yet." Carol cocked her head slightly and continued to stare playfully at her.

"Well... I could... show you around sometime--" Carol's eyes lit up. "--but not right now. I'm... kind of in the middle of something that I need to get back to." Natasha finished. The thought of giving Carol a private tour of the beautiful gardens both excited and scared the shit out of her. She needed to stay focused on her work but damn this woman was making it hard.

Carol's smile faded but only slightly. "Ok, no worries," she said lightly, shrugging a little.

Finished with her cheeseburger she got up and cleared her place. Walking past Natasha towards the door, she turned and smiled over her shoulder.

"It's a date."

And with a wink she was gone.

Natasha stared after her, forgetting that she was chewing.

Wait, what just happened?

\-----

The sound of laughter reverberated throughout the room. Carol smiled, that was definitely one of her best stories. She felt like she was really starting to fit in here. Like maybe she could actually make friends here. That was something she was in short supply of, she had been on her own for so long she forgot how much fun it could be to have people in her life. Adding to her warm and fuzzy feeling was the item in front of her: a cheeseburger. She absolutely couldn't wait to eat it. She picked it up, preparing herself for her own private heaven, when an angel walked in.

Even in sweats she was stunning. Apparently everybody else in the room thought so too because they all turned to look at Natasha. Her hair was slightly mussed, and she didn't have any makeup on, but it only seemed to make her hotter. She looked slightly taken aback, and Carol couldn't help but be amused. It was obvious she had walked into something she wasn't expecting.

As soon as Natasha sat down at the table with her food, the others began to get up one by one to get back to work. It amused Carol even more when she realized it was only going to be the two of them left in the room.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room, and she could tell Natasha felt it. She was trying to seem casual and Carol, for the life of her, couldn't stop staring at her, which probably wasn't helping. She found this side of Natasha adorable. Even so, she was about to mercifully break the silence when Natasha suddenly blurted out, "So, how do you like our compound?"

"Oh it's nice." Carol smiled, she glanced at her surroundings, "Much better than the places I usually end up. Plus, it's nice to be back on Earth. I especially missed these."

She grinned and held up her cheeseburger.

Natasha raised an eyebrow, "Been awhile?"

Carol tried not to read into it, but yes, it had been a long... long...

"You could say that..."

Long... Oh! The cheeseburger. Right....

She cleared her throat, "If you can believe it, burgers only seem to be an Earth thing. So sad." She shook her head and took her first bite. It was... divine. It was so good it was all she could do not to finish the entire thing in seconds. She realized she probably looked like a little kid, and knew that Natasha was staring at her, but she didn't care.

"So, you've met everyone?"

Carol considered Natasha's question. "Yeah, I think so. I've been having some fun with the people down in the science lab. They apparently can't get over my energy output." Natasha furrowed her brow so she continued, "I burnt out a few of their toys..."

She laughed at the memory while she took a few more scrumptious bites. All those eyeballs popping out of their sockets. Thank goodness Bruce hadn't gotten mad, he had actually laughed in spite of himself.

Natasha was smiling as well. Finally! Maybe she was warming up. Carol decided to keep the conversation going.

"So yeah, I've made the rounds I guess." She paused, wondering if she should mention what was on her mind. As Natasha's smile began to fade, she decided to take a chance.

"Haven't seen you around much though. Are you avoiding me?"

Natasha's eyebrows shot up and Carol was momentarily worried that she had pissed her off, but then noticed the slight reddening of her cheeks. Was Natasha embarrassed? No way, but uncomfortable adorable Natasha was back and Carol liked it. A lot.

"No, not at all. I'm just usually at my desk or in the gym."

The gym... good to know.

"I saw the gym, looks pretty bad-ass. I also heard you have some pretty cool gardens here. I haven't had the chance to see those yet." Carol couldn't help herself. She was going out on a limb but she didn't care.

"Well... I could... show you around sometime... but not right now. I'm... kind of in the middle of something that I need to get back to."

Carol tried to hide her disappointment. But Natasha HAD consented to showing her around... sometime. That was good enough for now.

"Ok, no worries," she said lightly.

Taking the last bite of her cheeseburger, which was still soooo good, she got up and cleared her place. Walking past Natasha towards the door, she turned and smiled over her shoulder.

"It's a date."

She gave Natasha her best flirty wink and then walked out of the room.

Her heart was pounding in her chest as she walked down the hall. With a cheeseburger in her belly and Natasha Romanov speechless behind her, she was feeling pretty awesome.

She was really starting to like it here.

\-----


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things need to get a little physical...

\-----

It was early evening and Natasha was busy beating the shit out of her favorite bag in the gym. She had been feeling especially antsy today, but her desk was overflowing with reports that demanded her attention. The day had finally crawled to 5 o'clock and she couldn't get out of her desk chair fast enough.

The workout was working its magic, her shoulders were finally starting to relax, the kink in her neck was almost gone, and the antsy feeling was finally starting to leave. She was feeling almost carefree... until she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Look who I found."

She froze mid-punch and turned around, taking in the figure of Carol Danvers. The blond was dressed in a tight grey tank top and tighter black yoga pants. Natasha pretended not to notice how the clothes hugged her toned body. Carol walked into the room like she owned it, smiling at Natasha in an almost mischievous way. Natasha could hear her heartbeat start to pound louder in her ears.

Clearing her throat, which was suddenly excruciatingly dry, she shrugged.

"Sometimes I like to take out my day on the bag."

"Sounds like fun... how would you like a human opponent?"

Natasha quirked an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure you could flatten me in two seconds."

Carol's eyes suddenly flicked down her body and Natasha could feel her cheeks warm, realizing what she had just said.

Jesus Romanov, could you be more obvious?

Inwardly fighting for control again, which seemed to be her constant state when she was around Carol, she forced the blush down.

"Don't worry," Carol was looking at her face again, looking almost guilty, "no powers, I promise." She held up her hands with a twinkle in her eye.

Ok, Natasha thought, this could be fun.

Several minutes later she was delighted to find she was right. They danced around each other, jabbing here and there, not making real contact yet. It was almost flirty, with both of them looking amused at the other's moves. Until Carol suddenly came at her, a look of determination on her face. Carol was quick, but she was quicker. She brought her leg up, deflecting the blow, and then delivered one of her own. Carol tried to dodge it but Natasha's arm connected with Carol's side, throwing the blond off-balance. She caught herself, looking up with a smirk on her face.

"Oh, it's on Romanov."

Natasha grinned on the inside, but kept her perfectly poised mask in place, ignoring the warmth that spread throughout her body at the brief contact.

"Show me what you got Captain Marvel."

The next few minutes were filled with a rapid series of kicks and punches, with Natasha struggling to keep the upper hand. Her hand-to-hand combat skills were far superior, but Carol was good at defending herself, and Natasha was having some trouble finding a vulnerability. Finally she saw an opening and went for it, catching Carol off-guard making her loose her footing. The blond staggered and tried to regain her balance. She wasn't quite successful but threw a punch anyway. The redhead caught the blow and used Carol's own momentum to throw her to the ground.

Carol landed on her back, hard. She grunted and lay there, momentarily, shutting her eyes and scrunching up her nose. Natasha was about to check on her when Carol brought her legs up and with one powerful kick motion she was suddenly on her feet, standing upright with her hands balled into fists at her sides. Golden chestnut eyes locked with emerald ones. The air around them seemed to almost glow slightly, and it was then that Natasha noticed Carol's fists were glowing with a mixture of blue and gold light that seemed to course under and through her skin. Carol started to walk towards her but then followed Natasha's eye line, noticing the energy emanating from her that was quickly intensifying. She relaxed her fists and the light faded immediately.

"Sorry," she said, looking up at Natasha. A smirk spread across her face and she shrugged, "happens when I get riled up."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. Oh really?

"Don't worry," the smirk turned into a grin, "I won't blast you into next week. That wouldn't be near as fun as this."

She assumed a new fighting stance and leveled her gaze at Natasha.

"Ready when you are Romanov."

They sparred for the next 20 minutes, neither one able to keep the upper hand for long. Natasha was holding back of course, not wanting to cause too much bodily injury. She found herself enjoying this way more than she expected. Carol was unpredictable, keeping Natasha on her toes, and every time they came close to each other she had to stop herself from grinning like an idiot. She was trying not to notice the way Carol's muscles flexed with her movements, the way they kept briefly brushing up against each other, or the way they were both breathing hard.

Somewhat distracted, she advanced on the blond, moving in for the attack. Carol sensed her coming and caught the blow, throwing Natasha back on her heels. Using her forward momentum to her advantage, Carol came at her, attempting to push the redhead backwards into the wall behind her. Trying to extricate herself and turn them around Natasha threw an arm around Carol's neck, but it was too late and the two of them hit the wall with a loud thud.

Natasha's back hit first, slightly knocking the wind out of her. She grunted with the impact, feeling dazed. She attempted to catch her breath, and in doing so became acutely aware of her situation. Carol's upper body was pressed up against hers, her right hand was gripping Natasha's shoulder, while her other hand was holding onto Natasha's hip. Her arm was still around Carol's neck, pulling her face down into Natasha's other shoulder. She could feel Carol's heavy breathing on her neck, could feel the fast rise and fall of her chest against her hers. Natasha suddenly felt more out of breath, and incredibly warm. The skin on her neck began to tingle and her heart was pounding so hard she was sure Carol could feel it.

She released the other woman's neck, allowing the blond to raise her head. Dark chestnut eyes locked with hers, and Natasha could swear she saw them glowing slightly. She felt breathless and the whole world seemed to stop. She had the sudden urge to bring Carol even closer, to reach out and feel more, to run her hands... but suddenly the building warmth between them dissipated as Carol abruptly pulled away and staggered backwards. Attempting to catch her breath, Carol put her hands on her hips and turned her back, walking away a few paces. Natasha smiled internally. Apparently she wasn't the only one trying to gather herself.

Carol suddenly laughed, "Ok, that was a pretty sweet move."

The tension in the room eased a bit and Natasha allowed herself to smile back.

"Guess I have a few."

Carol looked at her, a cheeky smile spreading across her face, "Guess we just got a little carried away."

Natasha could feel her cheeks start to get warm but she didn't look away, "Yeah I guess we did."

They looked at each other for a moment. A million thoughts going through Natasha's head. She realized her back was still against the wall and pushed herself away from it, taking a step towards Carol. Carol followed her moment with her eyes. Natasha still wasn't quite sure what she was going to do. Assume a new fighting stance? Call it quits? Or walk up to Carol and...

A loud chirping sound filled the room and suddenly Steve's voice was saying "Natasha, you're needed in the control room."

Natasha stopped walking.

She sighed, "Ok Steve, I'll be right there."

Carol cocked an eyebrow and smirked, "Duty calls."

"Yes," Natasha sighed again, "it always does."

She walked past Carol, feeling the other woman's eyes following her.

"Guess we'll just have to have a rematch," Natasha qipped. With her back still to Carol, she grinned to herself. Something about this woman made her feel like a teenager. Not that she had ever felt this way when she was a teenager. But it felt surprisingly good. 

She turned around to face Carol, who was also grinning.

"Yep." Carol agreed.

"It's a date," Natasha winked. And she walked out the door.

\-----

Carol was feeling antsy.

She had been going over reports with Steve in the command room for hours. She had a kink in her neck from scanning too many star charts and her legs ached to do something besides sit in a chair.

Finally they were done and she made her way back to her quarters. She was entertaining the idea of a quick flight when she passed by the office area and noticed Natasha wasn't at her desk. Usually she was at this time of day, even at this hour. Carol was pretty sure Natasha was a workaholic. But she wasn't working so maybe she was...

Carol smiled to herself and walked faster to her quarters. She changed and headed to the gym.

As she approached the door she could hear some sort of pounding coming from within. She walked through the door and was met with a wonderful sight.

Natasha was there all right. Decked out in black from head to toe, showing a lot more skin than usual. She was going to town on a punching bag and Carol watched her for a few seconds.

"Look who I found," she grinned.

Natasha whipped around mid-punch and looked Carol up and down. Carol pretended not to notice and instead smiled a bit more suggestively. Natasha cleared her throat and tried to shrug nonchalantly.

"Sometimes I like to take out my day on the bag."

"Sounds like fun... how would you like a human opponent?" Carol ventured. She was really hoping for a yes.

Natasha quirked an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure you could flatten me in two seconds."

The remark caught Carol off-guard and she was suddenly seeing images she shouldn't. She caught herself dragging her eyes up and down Natasha's body and quickly returned them to the redhead's face. Natasha's cheeks seemed to be a bit more flushed than they were before. Was she blushing??

Then the moment was gone and Natasha's smooth mask was back on. How easily it slid into place, Carol thought.

"Don't worry, no powers, I promise." She held up her hands to emphasize her point.

But I think this is going to be fun.

Several minutes later she was delighted to find she was right. They danced around each other for a while, getting close but not too close. It was starting to drive Carol a little crazy and she made the decision to go for it. Natasha was quick and deflected her attack with ease. Then the redhead struck a blow of her own and Carol's side was suddenly aching.

Shaking off the hit and regaining her footing she looked up at Natasha.

"Oh, it's on Romanov," she smirked. And she could have sworn she saw the ghost of a smile on the other woman's lips.

"Show me what you got Captain Marvel."

The next few minutes were filled with Carol trying to hold her shit together. What was she thinking challenging a badass highly-trained assassin to hand-to-hand combat? She always got herself into these situations. Never thinking through the consequences. But even though she was struggling to stay one step away from certain doom, she had to appreciate the skill and ease with which Natasha moved. Her movements were almost dance-like, each strike perfectly timed and executed. Carol had to stop herself from being mesmerized.

Suddenly Natasha came at her, striking a blow that sent Carol staggering. She reacted impulsively and attempted a counter-attack which Natasha easily deflected. Before she knew it the redhead had her off her feet and suddenly her back was hitting the floor.

She landed hard, grunting involuntarily. Damn that hurt. She chided herself for her impulsive mistake. Come on Danvers, you can do better than this! Show this woman what you've got. Tapping into the power within her she kicked herself back up into a standing position and landed squarely on her feet. Feeling renewed she locked eyes with Natasha and started to advance on the redhead but stopped in her tracks when she saw Natasha was looking down.

Carol looked down too and realized she'd gotten a little too worked up. She relaxed immediately, letting the energy reabsorb into her.

"Sorry," she said, looking up at Natasha. A smirk spread across her face and she shrugged, "happens when I get riled up."

Natasha raised an eyebrow.

"Don't worry," Carol couldn't help but grin, "I won't blast you into next week. That wouldn't be near as fun as this."

She assumed a new fighting stance and leveled her gaze at Natasha.

"Ready when you are Romanov."

The next 20 minutes Carol held her own. She couldn't take Natasha head on, so she tried to throw the other woman off, trying desperately to find an opening. It was exhilarating though, every time they got a little closer she felt her heart flutter. Hopefully she wasn't grinning ear to ear, but Natasha seemed to be enjoying herself as well. Carol had caught her almost smiling a couple times, and she almost seemed distracted.

Taking advantage of this, Carol easily stopped the redhead's next strike and threw Natasha backwards, making the other woman lose her footing. Taking advantage of her momentum, Carol pushed forward and threw Natasha back into the wall behind her. She didn't realize the redhead had grabbed her behind the neck until they were both crashing into the wall.

She heard Natasha grunt with the impact and suddenly everything went dark as her momentum plastered her against the other woman. Natasha's arm was still around her neck and she realized her face was nestled into Natasha's neck. The redhead was warm and soft, and even though she had been working out for quite some time she smelled good. Carol attempted to catch her breath and realized she could feel the other woman's chest heaving against her own. Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure Natasha could feel it.

The redhead suddenly released her neck and then they were eye to eye, Natasha's dark emerald stare so intense Carol couldn't look away. She couldn't read the look in the other woman's eyes. Was Natasha offended at their close proximity? Was she getting ready to strike, or was she thinking about a different kind of move? Carol's head was spinning and she was suddenly aware they had been in this position for several seconds. She abruptly pulled away, stepping back and walking a few steps away to regain what semblance of composure she could.

Catching her breath finally, Carol suddenly laughed trying to alleviate some of the tension in the room, "Ok, that was a pretty sweet move."

Natasha actually smiled back, making Carol's heart flutter again.

"Guess I have a few."

Carol looked at her, a cheeky smile spreading across her face, "Guess we just got a little carried away."

Natasha held her gaze, "Yeah I guess we did."

They looked at each other for a moment. Then Natasha pushed herself away from the wall and started walking towards her. Carol felt frozen to the spot, unable to read the other woman's intensions. She found herself unable to do anything but watch the beautiful woman advance towards her. For a brief second Natasha looked uncertain and then...

A loud chirping sound filled the room and suddenly Steve's voice was saying "Natasha, you're needed in the control room."

Natasha stopped walking.

She sighed, "Ok Steve, I'll be right there."

Trying to hide her disappointment, Carol cocked an eyebrow and smirked, "Duty calls."

"Yes," Natasha sighed, "it always does."

The redhead slowly walked past her, ready to exit the gym. As Carol watched her, Natasha suddenly paused and said, "Guess we'll just have to have a rematch."

She turned around then, a smile spreading across her exquisite features. Carol felt herself swoon a bit. "Yep," she agreed, grinning like an idiot.

"It's a date," Natasha winked. And she walked out the door.

Carol blinked. And then blinked again.

\-----


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to get a little rocky...

\-----

Natasha was having a very unproductive day. She couldn't concentrate, she was easily distracted, and she couldn't stop thinking about a certain blond superhero.

Putting her head in her hands, she groaned softly to herself. She had so much work to do, important work that desperately needed her full attention. It had all started about a month ago when a secret file containing very sensitive data on a new weapons system was stolen right from under their noses. They were desperate to recover the file before it fell into the wrong hands. And because the file contained information that could be used for mass destruction, everyone knew if it came to that, the blood would be on their hands.

Given the highly sensitive nature of the project, Steve had assembled a small team, Alpha Team, to recover the file. Each team member had been given a sector of space to investigate, which meant pouring over endless surveillance and intelligence reports. Some of the reports required her to dig deeper and exhaust all leads and this took an immense amount of effort and concentration.

And she had neither right now.

Every now and then Carol would walk past the office area, or meet with Steve in the conference room, and Natasha would be so distracted she would oftentimes take her work to her quarters. Their encounter in the gym had left Natasha's head spinning, and she didn't have the time or energy to process it fully. For one thing, she had never felt this way before. Natasha was no blushing virgin, she had been around the block several times, but she was always the agressor, the person in control. In her old line of work that was essential. Her life could, and sometimes did, depend on keeping herself in control.

Which was why being around Carol was so maddening. It was like all her experience and training just fell away when she was around the other woman. She became incapable of coherent thought and her physiological reactions were extremely annoying, if not embarrassing. And if she was being honest with herself, she was terrified of losing control. Opening herself up to someone could only end in pain.

But she also couldn't deny how good it felt. The head rushes, the heart flutters, the tingling sensations all made her feel alive in a way she hadn't experienced before.

Natasha rubbed her temples, trying to will away the memory of Carol's body pressed up against her own. This was ridiculous, she couldn't function like this. Now was not a good time to indulge in these feelings. People were counting on her, and she needed to give them her best. Maybe continuing to avoid Carol was the best course of action.

Realizing it was getting late, Natasha decided to give up on this particular day and call it quits, vowing that tomorrow would be better. She desperately wanted to stretch her legs and get some fresh air, so she headed to the compound gardens, one of her favorite places to unwind.

Strolling through the cool fragrant night air she could feel herself finally beginning to relax. The gardens were mostly empty this time of night, which was why she was surprised to see someone sitting on her favorite bench.

And it was non other than Carol.

Shit. What were the chances?

The other woman was comfortably sitting on the bench, taking in her surroundings when she saw Natasha approaching. Carol's face broke out in a grin the moment she saw the redhead. Having no other choice, Natasha walked up and gave Carol a small smile while she sat down a safe distance away.

Carol looked her over, still grinning. Her smile was unabashedly genuine and Natasha couldn't help but notice how beautiful the other woman was in this moment.

"So, are you here for our date?"

The question caught Natasha so off-guard she couldn't stop her reaction. Carol laughed at her wide-eyed expression, her chestnut eyes twinkling in the dim light.

"Remember? We made a date for a tour of the gardens," the blond said, wiggling her eyebrows. Carol continued to chuckle quietly while Natasha's brain attempted to work. Yes, she remembered now.

"I was starting to think you were avoiding me Romanov, but here you are." Carol was grinning, and it made Natasha's chest start to ache. She had to do this, here and now.

She looked into Carol's warm happy gaze, trying not to get lost. She could feel her chest starting to constrict and had to look away, focusing on a distant speck of light instead. She cleared her throat, gathering herself.

"Look Carol, I think you're a really great person, and a really great asset to our team." 

How many times could she say "really great"?

"...but, I don't think now is a good time for anything else... I mean, I think it would be best if we just... if we remained just-"

"Friends." Carol finished, it wasn't a question.

Natasha turned to look at the other woman, nodding. The air around them seemed to thinken, and time seemed to slow to a crawl. Carol's smile had faded and she looked down, furrowing her brow. 

"I get it... no worries." Carol abruptly looked away, taking a deep breath, and focused her gaze on the horizon.

All the warmth that had been emmanating from the blond earlier had disappeared, and Natasha suddenly felt cold. The hurt she had seen in Carol's eyes made the ache in her chest hurt even more. She tried to push the feeling away, telling herself this was what needed to be done, but now she wasn't so sure. She had broken up with her fair share of people, and this wasn't even technically a breakup, but she had never felt this way afterwards. They sat in silence for a moment, until Natasha stood up, not knowing what else to do.

"I'm going to head back inside, do you want to come back in?" she said quietly.

Carol shook her head and continued to stare at nothing in the distance.

"No, I'm good, thanks." Carol said flatly.

Natasha nodded and walked away silently, making her way back to the entrance to the compound.

She couldn't stop herself from looking back. Carol remained on the bench, a solitary figure, unmoving. Natasha had the sudden impulse to go back, to take Carol by the hand and give her that tour of the gardens.

But it was too late, Natasha had made her decision and the damage had been done. She just hadn't expected it to hurt so much.

\-----

Carol lounged on the comfortable wooden bench, breathing in the sweet smells in the cool air. It was so nice and relaxing in the gardens, and at this time of night she had it almost all to herself.

She had put off coming here for a while, hoping that she could get a "tour" from Natasha. But in the last week or so the other woman had been strangely absent, and Carol was starting to think the redhead was avoiding her.

It wasn't altogether surprising though, things had gotten a little heated in the gym and she could tell Natasha wasn't one to lose control easily. The redhead was usually so well put together, her beautiful features perpetually moulded into a smooth practiced mask. She carried herself with an almost detached ease, which made her seem a bit mysterious and aloof. Natasha seemed to like blending into the background, silently observing a situation first. It was probably a tactic that had served her well in the past, but it would have been more successful if she wasn't so drop dead gorgeous.

Carol smiled to herself. During their time in the gym, Natasha had let her control slip just enough for Carol to peek underneath that mask. She had seen Natasha flustered, distracted even, and the intensity of emotion in her dark emerald eyes had taken Carol's breath away. Even now the memory of their close encounter made her heart beat faster. She couldn't stop thinking about the redhead and was desperately hoping they would run into each other soon.

So when she looked up and saw a figure approaching the bench she was thrilled to see it was Natasha. She couldn't help but unabashedly grin like an idiot.

The other woman walked up to the bench, and Carol could see the mask was in full effect. For whatever reason this only made her smile more. Natasha returned the smile with a small polite one of her own. She sat down on the bench, a little farther away than Carol would have liked. She studied the redhead's face, and upon closer inspection Natasha looked tired and a little distracted.

"So, are you here for our date?" She blurted out.

The question obviously caught Natasha off-guard. Her eyes went wide in a deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression and Carol couldn't stop herself from laughing out loud. The mask had momentarily slipped and she found it completely adorable.

"Remember? We made a date for a tour of the gardens," Carol said wiggling her eyebrows, hoping to jog the other woman's memory. That seemed to do the trick and the redhead's surprised expression disappeared.

"I was starting to think you were avoiding me Romanov, but here you are." Carol couldn't stop grinning, this woman was like a drug to her.

Natasha looked at her, an emotion she couldn't quite read simmering in the other woman's eyes. Was it... sadness? Carol started to get a bad feeling in her gut. Clearing her throat, Natasha suddenly looked away, seeming to gather herself.

"Look Carol, I think you're a really great person, and a really great asset to our team." 

Carol felt her heart start to sink. She knew where this was going.

"...but, I don't think now is a good time for anything else... I mean, I think it would be best if we just... if we remained just-"

"Friends." Carol finished, it wasn't a question.

Natasha turned to look at her, nodding.

Carol didn't know how to react, she was stunned. She suddenly felt cold, like all the warmth had left her body, and a knot was starting to grow in her stomach.

"I get it... no worries," she heard herself say. Apparently her self-preservation had decided to kick in. She looked away, taking a deep breath and finding a point in the distance to focus on. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a moment, and then Natasha stood up.

"I'm going to head back inside, do you want to come back in?" she asked softly.

Carol couldn't bring herself to look at Natasha. She shook her head and continued to stare at nothing in the distance.

"No, I'm good, thanks." Carol said flatly.

There was a brief pause, and then Natasha walked away quietly. Carol continued to sit on the bench, thinking back on their time together, trying to figure out where she had gone wrong. Maybe she had read the situation wrong, maybe Natasha didn't feel the way she did. Maybe this was her way of letting Carol down easy.

Carol sat up straighter, trying to put herself back together. It wasn't like the two of them were in a relationship she told herself. Nothing had even happened between them.

So then why did it hurt so much?

\-----


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting complicated...

\-----

Carol was relaxing in her quarters with one of her favorite books when she got the call. Steve was requesting her presence at an Alpha Team meeting, something he had never done before. Quirking an eyebrow, she closed her book and headed towards the command room.

She wasn't completely sure about all the details, but she knew Alpha Team had been looking for something for months, something really important. And judging by the excitement in Steve's voice she was guessing they had finally found it.

But she had no idea why they were calling her in. There were seven members of the team, and they always met behind closed doors. She only knew this because Natasha was a member, and Carol had frequently watched her come and go through those closed doors.

Upon entering the command room, the first thing that hit her was the amount of tension in the room. Everyone was standing around the table, talking heatedly, while Steve was trying to get everyone to quiet down. Seeing her enter he raised his voice, trying to get everyone's attention.

"Carol! Thank you for joining us."

A hush fell over the room and everyone turned to look at her.

"Of course," she replied, "how can I help?"

She sat down at the table, listening as Steve and the others started to fill her in. She had scanned the room quickly when she first entered and knew that Natasha was standing only a couple feet away. The two of them hadn't spoken or even really seen each other since their talk in the gardens a few nights ago. She wasn't sure who was avoiding who, or if it was just mutual. Not one to wallow, Carol had decided that if Natasha's goal had been to let her down easy, then avoiding each other was probably the best idea. 

Of course, that was easier said than done, and right now she was sure she could feel Natasha's eyes on her. The skin on the back of her neck was tingling and her palms were starting to sweat. She had to fight the urge to turn around and find the redhead, instead making a conscious effort to give all her attention to Steve.

Alpha Team had finally located the file they had been seeking for months. After pouring through endless intelligence reports and data, they had finally gotten a reliable lead. Now they were trying to come up with a plan to retrieve the file, but it was located in an incredibly dangerous part of space and they were having trouble coming up with a plan that wouldn't result in mass casualties.

She was starting to realize why Steve had called her in.

After laying out all the plans they had come up with that wouldn't work, he looked at her, his eyes hopeful and desperate. The whole room seemed to still and she knew what she had to do.

"I'll go." she announced.

There was a pause, and then Steve replied, "You will?"

"Of course," she nodded.

And then suddenly the atmosphere in the room began to lift, like everyone had been holding their breath.

Steve was staying, "If there were any other way..."

"That's why I'm here," Carol smiled, giving him a wink. She felt the need to put on a show of strength. Everyone in this room had worked so hard for this, only to run into a wall. They were all pinning their hopes on her and she wanted to assure them it wasn't all for nothing.

And then it hit her, she was leaving. She was leaving Natasha, and there was a small chance she wouldn't be coming back.

But it didn't really matter anyway, right? That door had been slammed in her face. Maybe it would actually be a good thing to leave this place and go somewhere she could clear her head. Somewhere where she wouldn't have to worry about running into a particular pair of beautiful eyes.

With the meeting over, everyone started to disperse. Steve got up, offered her another heartfelt thank you, and headed to his office. She stood up from the table getting ready to leave when she turned and suddenly locked eyes with an emerald stare.

Caught slightly off-guard, all she could do was stare back. Natasha's dark eyes were turbulent, and she almost seemed to be wrestling with something. They looked at each other for a moment, Carol unsure what she should do. Then suddenly Natasha blinked, turned on her heel, and was gone.

\-----

Natasha rubbed her temples, trying to drown out the clatter around her. The command room was filled with her stressed-out team members who were desperately trying to solve an unsolvable problem.

After months of hard work they had finally located the secret file they had been so desperate to find. Unfortunately, it was located in a stronghold on a planet in one of the most dangerous sectors of space. The team had brainstormed plan after plan but to no avail. The stronghold was armed to the teeth and the only way to get through the defenses would be to send in a large team with a lot of firepower. Unfortunately, the area was heavily patrolled as well. It would be impossible to sneak in, especially a large team. Every plan they could come up with had a high probability of casualties.

Steve had called a meeting that afternoon and they had been at it for almost an hour. Hope seemed to be dwindling and people were starting to get testy with each other. She saw Steve leave for a moment and the room seemed to get even louder, everyone talking heatedly. Natasha sighed, she couldn't believe this was happening. It had taken them so long to find the file and now they couldn't get to it. She could feel the atmosphere in the room getting more grim, everyone seemed to have lost all hope. And then Carol Danvers walked into the room.

Natasha stared at the blond, her mind screeching to a halt. Why was Carol here? Is that why Steve had left briefly and gone to his office? Why was he bringing her in?

It had been days since their talk in the gardens, and just seeing the other woman again made Natasha's heart start to beat faster. She had tried her best not to think about the blond, instead pouring herself into her work. Then they had gotten a lead and that had been a great distraction. Plus she was pretty sure Carol was avoiding her, and maybe that was for the best.

But now Carol was standing only a couple feet away, and she found she still couldn't look away.

"Carol! Thank you for joining us," Steve was saying loudly.

A hush fell over the room and everyone turned to look at the blond.

"Of course," Carol replied, "how can I help?"

She sat down at the table and Steve and the others proceeded to fill her in. Natasha watched the scene, wondering again why Steve had called Carol in. She wasn't part of the team, and he had kept all this information under lock and key. Now he was laying out all the details for Carol, going over all the plans that the team had brainstormed.

Steve finished and the room fell quiet. He was staring at Carol, and suddenly Natasha started to get a bad feeling.

"I'll go," the blond announced.

And Natasha's stomach promptly hit the floor.

Steve replied, "You will?" and Carol nodded, "Of course."

The air in the room seemed to lighten and everyone started talking at once, smiles appearing on their faces.

Steve was saying, "If there were any other way..."

And she watched the other woman smile, give him a patented Carol wink and say, "That's why I'm here."

Natasha wasn't smiling. Natasha wasn't relieved and filled with hope. She was shocked, and it felt like her chest had broken in two. She found herself unable to move, unable to react, all she could do was watch as Steve and the rest of them finished up with Carol and everyone began to filter out of the room.

She saw Carol stand up from the table, turn around, and suddenly their eyes locked. Natasha's perpetual mask was no where to be found, she could feel her emotions on her face. Carol looked somewhat surprised and taken aback, and Natasha could still see the hurt in her beautiful chestnut eyes.

Natasha's chest began to ache even more and she realized she couldn't do this here. Breaking their eye contact abruptly she turned on her heel, leaving the room as fast as she could.

Before she knew it she was bursting into Steve's office.

"She needs a team to go with her, I volunteer," Natasha announced, storming up to his desk.

Steve looked up, looking a little confused at the outburst.

"I appreciate that Natasha, but it's not necessary. She'll be fine," he assured her.

"Wait, you're making her go alone?"

He furrowed his brow, "No, we have local contacts there who know the area. They'll be able to help her better than we could."

"You can't just let her go," she could hear the desperation in her voice but didn't care.

"What are you talking about? She's the strongest asset we have--"

"She's not an asset!" She burst out.

Steve recoiled slightly, his face filling with concern.

Taking a deep breath, Natasha tried to calm herself, desperately fighting for control.

"What I meant was..." She fumbled, not sure what to say next.

Steve got up from his chair and came around to the other side of the desk. He looked at her for a moment and then sighed, "Natasha, we've been over the scenario a million times, there's no other way, she's the only one who can do this. It has to be her."

They stood in silence for a moment, Natasha looking at Steve's tired face, and his eyes searching hers.

"She might not make it back here alive." 

Saying it made her chest constrict more.

"I know," Steve said quietly, "but she understands that."

Natasha just stared at him, at a loss for words. Steve took a step closer and was about to say more, but Natasha promptly turned and walked out of his office.

\-----


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to say goodbye...

\-----

Natasha stood outside on the lawn feeling the cool evening breeze caress her face and ruffle her hair. Daylight was quickly fading, the sunset in the distance filling the sky with beautiful hues of red, yellow, and purple.

She was part of a small group that had gathered outside the compound to see Carol off. Everyone was clustered around the blond, talking excitedly. Natasha stood slightly off to the side, watching. She had debated not coming at all, but all the members of Alpha Team had come and she knew her absence would be noticed.

Plus, she was not sure she could have lived with that decision.

She had spent the last two days watching Carol prepare for her mission. The other woman had been in and out of briefings, then down to the science labs, then training in the gym. All through it Carol exuded confidence and poise. She acted like going on an extremely dangerous mission was the most normal thing in the world.

Natasha watched from the sidelines with a mixture of awe and sadness. Her chest still ached thinking of that night in the gardens, seeing the hurt in the blond's eyes. She had told herself over and over that she had done the right thing, that it was better this way. But for some reason she just couldn't let it go. Now she found herself desperately wanting one last moment with Carol. She wasn't sure why exactly, wasn't sure what she would say. All she knew was that she didn't want that conversation in the gardens to be their last moment together.

Unfortunately, Carol seemed to have moved on. Whenever Natasha was around, Carol didn't seem to notice her presence at all. She was too busy talking to everyone who was demanding her attention. It seemed like everyone in the compound suddenly wanted a moment with Carol. There was never a good time, never a quiet moment to be had. So Natasha had finally resigned herself to just watching Carol prepare for the mission, sadness and worry aching in her chest.

Natasha moved closer to the small crowd, watching everyone as they surrounded Carol and wished her good luck. Even now she couldn't help but be drawn to the other woman. She could see the blond was smiling, her natural confidence radiating.

Everyone was taking a turn to say goodbye, getting their one last moment, and then finally Carol's beautiful chestnut eyes met hers and everyone else just disappeared. Natasha held her gaze, unable and unwilling to break the contact. Carol was dressed in her Captain Marvel suit, looking every inch the superhero they needed her to be. Her golden hair fell lose around her face, fluttering slightly in the breeze. Natasha had the sudden urge to wrap her arms around the woman and beg her not to leave.

Instead she heard herself say, "Good luck, Carol," and offered a small tight smile.

"Thanks," Carol said softly, she returned the smile briefly and then moved on to the next person.

Finally it was Steve's turn and he hugged the blond, causing Natasha's gut to churn slightly. Carol smiled at Steve, giving him a pseudo salute and then stepped back a few paces. Bowing her head slightly she closed her eyes, readying herself.

Almost instantly the energy within her rushed to the surface, eager to be unleashed. It started in her hands which began to glow with a mixture of yellow and blue light. Then it quickly traveled up her arms, spreading across her chest and down her back. Enveloping her entire body, the light began to intensify, growing brighter as blue and yellow ribbons of energy danced like electricity over her entire body. Her silhouette became a golden halo and her hair came to life like a roaring fire. Lifting her head slowly she suddenly opened her eyes, the light emanating from them blinding.

Seeing Carol in her natural form took Natasha's breath away. She was beautiful, breathtaking, the magnitude of her power staggering. Natasha was mesmerized, she had never seen power so radiant and so pure. She thought back to that day in the gym, when just a tiny bit of this had shown itself. Little did she know then, the extent of the power Carol held within her. It was hard to believe only minutes ago she had looked completely normal.

Carol turned her head skyward, and unleashing the full intensity of her power she took off, rocketing towards the heavens. Natasha watched the point of light grow smaller and smaller until it disappeared, and Carol was gone.

\-----

Zipping herself up Carol paused, looking at her reflection in the mirror. The suit fit like a glove, all smooth leather and bold colors. It had been awhile since she had put it on, and to be honest, she kind of missed it. She had never stayed anywhere very long. She was always jetting off to the next adventure, the next crisis, a new group of people. And here she was again, ready to go, ready to save the day.

She knew what she needed to do, she had everything she needed to get it done, and yet for once she wasn't rushing out the door. She searched her own face in the mirror, her brow furrowing, and realized she couldn't escape the truth. Part of her didn't want to go. It was both completely obvious and somewhat of a revelation. She liked it here, she liked being... home.

She had never really missed it before, having lived several years on another planet before remembering she was even human. After discovering who she was and putting the pieces of her past back together again, she had found a new mission and left, barely pausing to look back. And then years later she had finally come back home and found a new purpose, new friends and... Natasha.

Carol silently scolded herself. No, don't go there, that's so over it never even started. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. 

It had been a grueling couple of days. She had been to so many briefings, talked to so many people, and had so much information stuffed in her brain. She had given each person her full attention, only faltering slightly when she noticed the redhead in the room. Natasha was frequently in the vicinity, helping out with all the preparations. Carol had forced herself not to take notice, pushing her feelings down as far as she could.

Things had been better before she had volunteered for this mission, but now with the gravity of the situation upon her, she realized she might never see the other woman again. Which meant that somewhere deep down she had been fooling herself into thinking there was still hope, that Natasha would realize she made a mistake. But now the chances of that happening were slipping away and she found that realization to be somewhat crushing.

But none of that mattered now. It was time to go.

Walking outside to the lawn Carol saw that all of Alpha Team and a couple of her new friends had gathered to see her off. She noticed immediately that Natasha had come, her stomach suddenly twisting into knots. She ignored the sensation, making sure not to look in the redhead's direction. If she did, she wasn't sure she'd be able to leave.

Then everyone started taking turns saying goodbye to her, and they were all so nice it touched Carol. She had never had many friends before, and it warmed her heart to have so many people care about her. She looked from person to person, smiling her most confident smile, playing the part of the superhero she knew they desperately needed her to be.

Carol knew it was coming, but still wasn't prepared when she found herself looking into a pair of familiar emerald eyes. She felt her heart start to pound in her chest as the world fell away. Natasha gazed at her with an unreadable expression, her eyes glassy and dark. Carol could feel the tension coming off the redhead, her usual mask slightly askew. She suddenly had the urge to reach out and touch Natasha's face, to have one last connection, and then chided herself for such a ridiculous thought.

Natasha spoke first, her voice slightly hoarse.

"Good luck, Carol," she said with a small tight smile.

Carol couldn't help but smile at the redhead.

"Thanks," she said softly, and forced herself to move on, shifting her gaze to the next person. At the end of it all Steve gave her a hug, the momentary intimate contact making her ache for something, or someone, else. Then she stepped away to clear her head, pushing away all the thoughts that wouldn't stop buzzing in her head.

Lowering her head she closed her eyes, concentrating on the energy inside of her. It was always there, coursing through her entire body, just under the surface. She had learned to control it long ago but sometimes it got away from her a bit, like it had in the gym with Natasha. Now she released it, letting it flow freely out of her, feeling the energy ripple over her, her strength and power amplifying. Slowly lifting her head she opened her eyes, looking at the crowd. Everyone was watching, some slack-jawed, all wide-eyed.

She let herself look at Natasha one last time, knowing the redhead wouldn't see. The other woman stood gaping, not even shielding her eyes. Carol smiled a little to herself, ignoring the ache in her chest, and lifted her head towards the sky. Gathering her strength she leapt up into the air, accelerating fast, feeling the cool air blow past her. It felt exhilarating, she had missed this. As she broke through the atmosphere she slowed, and looking down for a brief moment she said goodbye to her home.

\-----


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a little pain...

\-----

The next few weeks seemed to crawl for Natasha. She worked, spent time with friends, went to the gym, but Carol was always in the back of her mind. Try as she might she couldn't get rid of the knot in her stomach or the dull ache in her chest.

Regret was also a constant companion. She had many regrets in her life, mostly actions that had hurt people. But the regret she felt in regards to Carol was different. She had hurt someone once again, but in this case it was someone she cared about. And instead of it being an order, or necessary for a mission, it had been an act of cowardice.

Natasha knew the moment she met Carol that she was trouble. She didn't really like meeting new people; she was content with her small group of friends. She liked her job, she was good at her job, and she finally felt like she had found her purpose. And then Carol walked into her life and it all went to hell. The blond brought out feelings in Natasha that she didn't even know she could have. Feelings that made her think maybe she wanted more in her life, like maybe something was missing. Feelings that she assumed had been beaten out of her long ago.

So naturally her reaction had been to bolt, to bottle up those feelings in order to protect herself. But to her everlasting frustration, it simply hadn't worked. And now she was filled with a new kind of regret, and the knowledge that she was a coward. And there was nothing she could do about it.

Alpha Team had a meeting every Friday morning during which Carol would call in and give her weekly report. Natasha couldn't deny she looked forward to the meeting every week. As soon as Carol's image would appear, she felt relieved, even though listening to the other woman's voice always made her heart beat a little faster and her chest ache. Carol frequently looked tired, but always assured everyone that she was getting close and that everything was going as planned.

Until one Friday morning she didn't call in. They moved on to the next report, hoping that Carol was just late. The whole meeting Natasha watched the space that Carol's hologram usually occupied, but it never flickered to life. At the end of the meeting they tried to reach their contacts in the area but no one answered their calls.

A couple of days went by and everyone was getting worried, most of all Natasha. She hadn't been able to sleep for the last two nights, tossing and turning with worse-case-scenarios flashing through her head. The team knew that Carol had been close to making her move, apparently just waiting for the right set of variables to fall into place. They could only assume that she had gone through with the plan, but that something must have gone wrong. Natasha couldn't concentrate, couldn't eat, and couldn't stop imagining everything that could have gone wrong.

Then finally on the third day, one of their contacts in the area finally called in. The man looked weary and his course features were etched with worry. He told them Carol had finally been successful in retrieving the file, but had been severely injured in the ensuing battle. They had apparently searched for her for days, finally finding her on a nearby planet. She had crash-landed in a remote mountain range and was barely clinging to life by the time they got to her. The man told them Carol was currently in critical condition at a hospital on his world.

A hush fell over the room, and everyone seemed to be collectively holding their breath. The man went on to say that he had made sure to secure the file before Carol was taken into the hospital. He assured them all that they would have the file as soon as possible, and that Carol's sacrifice would not be in vain.

Natasha couldn't breathe. She stood at the table, listening to the man, shock rolling over her in waves. Words like "severely" and "sacrifice" bouncing around in her head until she couldn't listen to the man anymore.

"Is she going to be alright??" She suddenly heard herself say. Everyone looked at her for a moment and then at the holographic man. He sighed, "The doctors don't know anything yet. If she was a normal person she would be dead. But since she's not exactly normal, they're still optimistic."

Optimistic.

The atmosphere in the room was heavy, Natasha could hear people talking but she couldn't hear what they were saying. She vaguely heard Steve end the call and people started walking past her, leaving the room to get on with their business.

Natasha slowly walked to her desk. She sat down in front of her computer screen, not realizing the screen was blank.

Optimistic. The word echoed in her head.

"Hey," she heard Tony's voice behind her, and she glanced over her shoulder.

He looked at her, his brow furrowed, "You ok?"

She cleared her throat and turned around to face him, assuming a neutral expression.

"I'm fine," she said, softer than she meant to.

He pursed his lips and looked at her, seeming to size her up. "Mmm hmm, no you're not."

Natasha looked at him, neither confirming nor denying his observation.

"Look, you know you can come to me with anything, right?" He raised his eyebrows, giving her a sympathetic look.

"I appreciate that, Tony." She said softly, and with that she turned around in her chair again, pretending to shuffle some papers on her desk.

She suddenly felt him touch her shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze.

"She's going to be ok, Nat," he said gently, and then he released her, heading back into the command center.

Natasha sat there, unable to calm her thoughts. She couldn't clamp down the worry and dread that were building inside of her. Carol was lying somewhere, badly injured, fighting for her life and all Natasha could do was sit here. It was maddening. She had never felt so useless.

\-----

Carol awoke with a start, opening her eyes to a blinding light and unfamiliar sounds. She tried to focus and realized she had no idea where she was. She moved her head to the side attempting to take in her surroundings, but was hit by a wave a searing pain that cut like a knife through her skull. She inhaled sharply, squeezing her eyes shut against the pain. When it finally subsided she reached up to her temple, finding it bandaged. Slowly opening her eyes again, she looked down realizing she was in a hospital bed. She was also hooked up to multiple machines and they were all screaming at her.

A woman suddenly rushed in, assessed the equipment and silenced the alarms. She quickly turned her attention to Carol, taking the blond's unbandaged hand in her own.

"Hey, it's ok, you're safe." She said soothingly, gently pushing Carol's head back down onto the pillow.

Carol tried to speak but her throat felt like a desert and the attempt sent new waves of pain cascading down her torso.

"Easy, easy!" the woman exclaimed, gripping Carol's hand.

Carol squeezed her eyes shut again, willing herself not to scream, trying to slow her breathing while the fresh wave of pain slowly ebbed away.

"There you go," the woman said softly, "Just breathe. You're safe, you're recovering in a hospital. You were injured in a battle and your wounds are pretty extensive, but you're healing incredibly fast," the woman told her.

Carol's head began to spin as images from the battle started to flash through her brain. The explosions, the screams, and then her confrontation with one of the worst enemies she had ever encountered. She could remember the pain he had inflicted, and also remembered inflicting plenty of her own. The file. She had gotten it, she realized, and downloaded it into her suit which she was no longer wearing.

Panic seized her and without thinking she made another effort to speak, wincing with the pain.

"My suit?" She croaked out.

"Don't worry, your companions took care of everything, we have all your belongings." The woman assured her.

Relief washed over Carol and she let her eyelids close, too exhausted and weak to keep them open any longer. Her entire body ached, some parts more than others. Her head felt fuzzy and what felt like a distant part of her brain realized she must be on some sort of medication. Surprisingly she found that comforting. She could feel her limbs growing heavier and the sounds around her fading as she let herself drift, unable to fight it.

Unconsciousness claimed her and she slept.

\-----


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to come home...

\-----

It had been a week since Carol awoke in the hospital and she was just itching to leave. Her doctors didn't try to hide their disapproval, telling her over and over how bad of an idea it was. But she ignored them, knowing how urgently the information contained within her suit was needed. And wanting desperately to return to the place she now considered home.

The second time she had awoken in the hospital the pain had lessened to the point where she could stay conscious and talk to the doctors. Her memories of the battle were hazy and fractured. The doctors tried to fill her in as best they could, enumerating her injuries and laying out a recovery plan to her. But she could tell they really had no idea what they were doing. Bringing her to the hospital had stabilized her, but her body was healing itself which both baffled and awed the doctors.

She continued to heal at an almost alarming rate over the next few days. At her insistence the doctors finally took her off the pain medication on the fourth day and she was able to get out of bed the next day. She felt ready to leave, despite their objections. Knowing that the data contained in the file was far too sensitive to broadcast, she knew she had to deliver it in person - that was her mission, whether she was fully healed or not.

She also couldn't deny she had another incentive for leaving. During her worst painful episodes she would find herself thinking of Natasha. Especially their day in the gym. She could remember the way the redhead's emerald eyes had twinkled, and the way Natasha had smiled at her; her perfectly constructed mask falling away to reveal the warm, funny, adorable woman underneath.

It was probably a bad idea to concentrate on those memories, but in her darkest hours it soothed her, reliving a time when she was filled with warmth and hope. Sometimes she found herself starting to fantasize beyond that day, imaging what could have been if the night in the garden hadn't happened. But once she was through the worst of the recovery she chastised herself for it, feeling like an idiot. She had never had this reaction to anyone in her life, and it was both embarrassing and wonderful. Or at least it could have been.

Finally on the seventh day her companions came to retrieve her from the hospital, giving her a ship and their blessings. Apparently the healing process required a huge amount of energy, so she was unable to fly herself at the moment. Deciding she was ok with that, she boarded the ship and took a seat, heading home at last.

\-----

When the compound received news that Carol had woken up in the hospital everyone was ecstatic. The days prior had been filled with so much dread and tension, it felt almost suffocating to Natasha. Now they had finally received good news but she still found herself unable to relax. She couldn't shake the worry that had taken up residence in her chest. And on top of that she still felt completely powerless, unable to do anything to help. All she could do was wait, wait to see if Carol would pull through.

For the next week they received daily updates. Carol was apparently healing at an astonishing rate, and by the end of the week they received news that she was ready to come home - against her doctor's orders. The last bit brought a small smile to Natasha's lips. Carol didn't respond well to people telling her what to do, and to her dismay Natasha found it endearing.

Sitting at her desk, she closed her eyes, slowly rubbing her temples. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out, trying to make sense of everything whirling around in her head. All she truly wanted to was to see Carol safe and sound, to see her beautiful chestnut eyes and radiant smile, and that would be enough. She knew she didn't have it in her for anything more, as much as it pained her to admit it.

"Hey Nat."

She opened her eyes and looked up, focusing on the image of Clint.

"We're being summoned," he said, cocking his head towards the command room.

She sighed and stood, following behind him. Everyone was finding a seat at the table when they entered, and Steve was already addressing the people that were seated.

"--on her way, she should be here in a few days. We need to be ready, make all the preparations, this needs to happen as soon as possible." he was instructing.

"A few days?" Tony asked, "I thought she was faster than that..."

"She's flying a ship, apparently she hasn't recovered enough to fly," Steve answered.

Natasha could feel her brow furrowing as she listened. Carol was still recovering from her injuries, she was still hurt. The thought made her chest start to ache again, and she couldn't stop thinking about how close they had come to losing her. Steve continued to fill them in and outline the plan once Carol delivered the data, but Natasha wasn't listening anymore. She couldn't concentrate on anything else but the fact that Carol was finally coming home.

\-----


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homecoming!

\-----

Natasha knew the moment Carol's ship landed. People started rushing out of the building, excited voices echoing off the smooth walls of the compound. Natasha looked down from her vantage point, watching the scene unfold. Not wanting to be swept away with the crowd, she had positioned herself on a catwalk just inside the main entrance. She turned to look out the nearest window, spotting Carol's ship on the landing pad.

The door to the ship opened and Natasha could see a figure walk out and down the ramp. The figure was soon lost in a sea of people as the crowd swarmed. She followed the crowd with her eyes, watching as it slowly ebbed it's way towards the building. Upon reaching the entrance, the front doors burst open, filling the large room with a cacophony of sound. Excited voices all talking over each other mixed with jovial laughter. She scanned the crowd, looking for it's focal point, and finally spotted a head of golden blond hair. The blond turned and Natasha could see she was laughing, her smile lighting up the whole room. Carol Danvers was home and Natasha felt her heart stop for a moment.

She watched almost in a daze as the other woman greeted everyone, receiving numerous hugs and handshakes in the process. She let her eyes rove over Carol, realizing upon closer inspection that the blond looked a little worse for wear. Natasha saw her wince slightly as an exuberant friend hugged her a bit too hard. She felt her jaw tighten reflexively, concern washing over her. Forcing herself to relax she took a deep breath and slowly let it out. She had waited what felt like forever for this moment - Carol was here, alive and safe.

She continued to follow the other woman with her eyes, unable to look away. Carol was looking from person to person, smiling at the faces all around her. Then she lifted her head up, eyes scanning the rest of the large room. She turned her head in Natasha's direction and suddenly their eyes met.

Natasha felt her breath leave her as the crowd between them seemed to disappear. She instantly felt a warmth spread throughout her chest as her heart started to pound, and it was all she could do not to break out into a full smile. Carol held her gaze for a moment, her chestnut eyes so intense they seemed to be glowing slightly. They held each other's gaze as time seemed to slow, and then suddenly a hand on the blond's shoulder made her turn, and the moment was over. Natasha blinked, feeling the warmth in her chest slowly seep away. The crowd continued to ebb farther into the building, taking Carol with it.

Steve and Tony were at the head of the pack, leading the blond towards the command room. Natasha descended, following a short distance behind. As they got closer to their destination people began to break off, returning to their business as they gave Carol one last wave. By the time they entered the command room the crowd had shrunk to a small group, Alpha Team plus a few more people that had been brought in to help. Carol sat down at the table next to Steve and Tony while everyone else gathered around.

Natasha remained at the back of the room, listening to the debriefing with one ear. She heard Carol say the file was stored in her suit and needed to be downloaded to be of use. And sometime later Steve asked Carol if she would mind looking over some newly acquired intelligence data.

Finally the meeting ended and it was decided Carol needed some time to rest up for a bit. The team dispersed and with a quick smile to Steve and Tony the blond left, heading to her quarters. For an absurd moment Natasha thought about following the other woman, but quickly came to her senses. It was ridiculous of course, she had no idea what she would say. What was there to say? She had told herself seeing Carol safe and sound would be enough.

She was so lost in thought she didn't realize Steve and Tony were still in the room until they called out her name. Slightly startled she turned towards them, a questioning look on her face. Steve waved her over, holding out his hand to give her something.

"Can you give this to Carol? It has the new intelligence data on it. And if she's done downloading the file from her suit can you bring it back here?" he asked, handing her a small flash drive.

He smiled sheepishly, "I don't want to rush her but we need to get started as soon as possible."

Natasha felt herself freeze, realizing what he was asking of her.

"You want... me to go?" she fumbled slightly.

"Yeah... is that ok?" he responded, furrowing his brow.

"Of course-- yes." she found herself nodding.

"Great," he smiled, "Thanks Nat."

She smiled back politely but a million thoughts were already running through her head. Her heart was fluttering in her chest and her stomach was suddenly in knots. She wasn't sure what she had been planning to do next, but it certainly didn't entail knocking on Carol's door.

Why the hell were they sending her?

Clearing her throat, and attempting to clear her head, Natasha turned and left, missing the knowing look that passed between her two friends.

\-----

The moment her ship touched down Carol felt a smile spread across her face. Never had it felt so good to come back to a place. Opening the door she was met with a sea of people, all smiling and talking excitedly over each other. Steve and Tony were at the front of the pack, welcoming her home and congratulating her on a job well done.

They made their way towards the main entrance where there were more people waiting to greet her. A small group of her new friends were gathered there, and one in particular hugged her hard, making her wince in pain. As incredibly fast as her recovery was going, certain parts of her body still weren't happy with her.

Her friends looked her up and down, teasing that she looked a little worse for wear. The one standing closest to her noticed the wound near her temple that she was trying to keep covered with her hair. Smiling, she assured them she was fine and stepped further into the building, taking it all in.

She realized she was scanning the crowd, and couldn't deny who she was looking for. Not that Carol had expected the redhead to be standing right outside the ship, ready to greet her, but she had let herself hope that Natasha would at least be nearby. That maybe some part of her had been concerned about Carol. To her dismay her heart started to sink as she realized Natasha was nowhere to be seen. Telling herself she was an idiot to have hoped otherwise, she was about to give up when something suddenly caught her eye. Carol looked up, scanning the upper portion of the room, and then she found her.

Natasha was standing alone on a suspended catwalk off to the side, watching the crowd intently. Their eyes met and Carol suddenly felt weightless, the cacophony surrounding her lessening to a quiet murmur. Natasha's emerald eyes held her own, her mask slightly askew. She looked almost relieved for a moment, the shadow of a smile so brief Carol thought she might be imagining it. She felt a warmth spreading throughout her body, and had to consciously rein the energy in.

A million questions were running through her head when suddenly a hand on her shoulder made her turn. It was Steve trying to guide her in the direction of the command room. At his lead the crowd moved farther into the building, taking Carol with it. She had to force herself not to look back, knowing that if she did, she would be lost. 

Finally reaching the command room, the considerably smaller group of people who remained gathered around the table and the debriefing began. She told them the file was stored in her suit and needed to be downloaded to be of use. Steve also informed her they had acquired new intelligence data from the region she had just come from, and that he was hoping she could take a look at it.

The meeting went on for some time and she began to feel drained and distracted. She knew Natasha was standing in the back of the room. She tried to concentrate on the discussion in front of her, but kept having to resist the urge to turn around and find the other woman in the shadows.

Finally the meeting ended and it was decided that Carol was due some well-earned rest. Taking care not to glance in the redhead's direction, Carol left the room quickly, walking in the direction of her quarters. She was tired and her head was spinning with too many thoughts of secret files, medical examinations, and a certain pair of emerald green eyes. She sighed. Seeing Natasha again had stirred feelings inside of her that she thought she had moved past. She had thought just being home would be enough, but apparently it wasn't going to be that easy.

\------


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting interesting...

\-----

Carol sat on the edge of her bed smiling to herself as she looked around her quarters. The room was tiny, but it was home. And she had missed it. She had unpacked what little she had and started the file transfer from her suit. She knew Steve didn't want to waste any more time and was planning to bring it to him as soon as it was done.

Letting herself fall backwards onto the bed she groaned at the impact, momentarily forgetting about her injuries. She had only been healing for about a week and a half, which was astounding to everyone but her. Not being used to aches and pains anymore she felt impatient, annoyed that her body still hurt in certain places.

Taking a deep breath she felt another pain, a different kind of ache that had settled in her chest. She couldn't stop thinking about the way Natasha had looked at her in the entrance hall. The redhead had made it clear she wanted nothing more than friendship from Carol, so why did Natasha have to look at her with those smoldering eyes of hers? Why did she have to make Carol's heart feel like it was going to beat out of her chest?

She had thought coming home would be enough, that she would feel happy and content with her new friends, but the instant she saw Natasha she knew she wanted more. Which was very stupid, and very inconvenient. The only solution Carol could think of was to avoid the redhead until she figured out how she was going to deal with her feelings. Feelings that obviously weren't going to go away, no matter how hard she tried to ignore them.

Her doorbell chimed suddenly and she sat up, wincing a bit at the sudden movement. Glancing over at her suit she could see that the file transfer had just finished. She smiled to herself as she made her way over to the door, Steve was definitely in a hurry. She opened the door, ready to greet the Captain, and stopped dead in her tracks.

Natasha was standing on her doorstep, quietly waiting with her smooth mask firmly in place. Carol stared at the redhead, her brain coming to a crashing halt.

"Natasha?" she heard herself say, hoping her voice didn't waver.

"Hi, Steve asked me to deliver the new intelligence data and see if you were done downloading the file," the other woman informed her.

Despite the buzzing in her head Carol made an attempt to smile politely.

"Of course, it just finished, come in."

She made her way over to her suit, checking the status one more time before disconnecting the flash drive. She turned around, seeing that Natasha had remained by the closed door. Walking back over to the waiting redhead she handed Natasha the drive, the exchange causing their fingers to touch briefly.

Carol felt like she'd been hit by lightning, the sensation making her breath catch in her throat. Willing herself to ignore the sudden pounding in her chest she withdrew her hand quickly. Natasha seemed a little rattled as well, the redhead abruptly averted her eyes and thanked Carol, turning to leave.

"Um, don't you have something for me?" Carol blurted out, before she could stop herself.

Natasha stopped in her tracks and looked over her shoulder, a look of confusion on her face. Then realization washed over the redhead's features and she came back, holding the other flash drive in her outstretched hand. Carol took the drive, careful not to let their fingers brush, and tossed it on top of the desk.

"Thanks, I'll take a look at it," she said, trying to avoid eye contact. She felt like she was drowning in her own awkwardness.

"Yeah, that would be great," Natasha replied, her voice faltering slightly. Carol looked at her, their eyes meeting for an awkward moment before Carol looked away, wishing the redhead would just leave and let her collect herself. She absentmindedly slid a strand of hair behind her ear and then winced, forgetting about the wound that was still healing on her temple. Natasha noticed and followed Carol's hand with her eyes, seeing for the first time the ugly gash on her temple that had been hidden by her hair. Carol heard a sharp intake of breath as the redhead suddenly moved towards her.

"Oh my God," the other woman whispered, reaching out with her hand instinctively.

And then Natasha was touching her face and Carol's world came to a screeching halt, her heart suddenly feeling like it was going to beat out of her chest. Natasha ran her fingers gently over her temple, careful not to touch the wound. The redhead's smooth mask had crumbled into a stricken look, her brow furrowed and her eyes full of concern. Carol couldn't move, couldn't breathe, she stood there, transfixed, staring at Natasha.

Finally she made herself speak.

"You should see the other guy," she tried to chuckle, but it came out strained, her throat so incredibly dry.

The remark instantly made Natasha shift her gaze to the blonde's eyes and Carol could see her look of concern shift to startled realization. Apparently the redhead hadn't noticed how close they were, their faces only inches apart now and Natasha's hand still resting lightly near Carol's temple.

Expecting Natasha to pull back immediately, Carol was shocked when the redhead didn't move. Instead the other woman continued to stare at her intensely, her emerald gaze almost imploring. Carol felt like she was hypnotized, unable and unwilling to move for fear the spell would be broken. Without breaking eye contact Natasha slowly let her fingers drift down to Carol's cheek, making Carol completely stop breathing.

She felt blissfully helpless, unable to do anything but stare, dumbstruck. Carol could feel the energy inside of her stirring, a soft glow slowly spreading throughout her body. Natasha continued to slide her fingers down to Carol's jaw, the gentle caress making her heart beat so loudly it thundered in her ears. 

She suddenly realized that Natasha was moving closer to her, the redhead's heated gaze drifting down Carol's face, and before she knew what was happening, Natasha leaned in and kissed her.

Everything abruptly faded away except for the feel of Natasha's lips on her own. At first she felt like she was in a dream, the sensation was so unexpected, but the feel of the redhead's soft lips and warm breath were all undeniably real. The redhead's touch was electrifying and Carol could feel the energy inside of her responding, a warmth spreading throughout her chest and sending tingling waves down her spine. Natasha pulled away slowly, breaking the kiss, her dark eyes finding Carol's.

Carol stared at the other woman for a beat, unable to form any cognizant thought beyond the memory of Natasha's touch. Her entire body was tingling, every nerve ending on fire. The redhead seemed to be searching her face, and it finally registered that Natasha was waiting for something. Seeing a flicker of doubt stirring in the other woman's eyes, Carol reached out quickly, wrapping both her arms around Natasha's waist. Before the other woman could react, she pulled the redhead in close and kissed her.

Natasha responded immediately, bringing her hands up to cup Carol's face. She kissed the redhead slowly, pulling her closer until the other woman's body was flush against her own. Natasha slid one of her hands behind Carol's head, pulling her impossibly closer as she deepened the kiss. Carol moaned involuntarily, breathing hard, her head starting to spin. She could feel all her pent up desire, her hope coming to the surface, threatening to spill out of her.

Natasha seemed to feel it as well, her breathing becoming ragged and her movements almost frenzied as the heat and intensity between them continued to build. Carol ran her hands up the redhead's back, feeling the toned muscles responding to her touch. They kissed until they were both breathless and Natasha finally pulled away, just far enough to press their foreheads together. Carol's chest was heaving, her heart pounding so hard she was sure the other woman could feel it.

They stood there for a moment, catching their breath and holding onto each other in a comfortable silence. Carol languidly running her hands up and down the redhead's back, relishing the feeling of the other woman's warmth. Natasha's fingers were grazing the back of Carol's neck making her feel inexplicably excited and relaxed at the same time. After a moment, Natasha spoke.

"I was so worried about you," she said quietly, her voice just above whisper. Carol could feel the other woman's brow furrow as she pressed it against her forehead. 

"Really?" Carol couldn't stop herself from smiling.

"God, yes," she heard the redhead reply with a soft sad chuckle.

"I'm ok," she whispered back, "I'm here. Takes more than that to get rid of me."

Natasha pulled back slightly and they looked at each other. The redhead's dark eyes were filled with a mixture of concern and tenderness, and Carol couldn't believe it was for her. In her attempt to move on she had convinced herself Natasha didn't share her feelings. She reached up, caressing the other woman's cheek, her heart literally aching in her chest. Then she pulled Natasha close and kissed her, slowly and deeply. She felt the other woman melt, and the warmth between them seemed to intensify, filling the air around them. Natasha reached up and ran her hands gently though Carol's hair, sending shivers down her spine. All the hurt and disappointment from the last few weeks started to seep away and Carol decided she could stay like this forever.

At that moment a chirping sound filled the room and Carol heard a thin male voice say, "Carol Danvers this is Dr. Erickson, please respond."

Carol groaned against Natasha's lips, trying to ignore the page. She felt Natasha smile and pull away, raising an eyebrow.

"You'd better answer the good doctor," she chuckled softly.

Carol sighed, "Yes doctor?"

"Please report to the infirmary for your evaluation," he responded almost robotically.

"Seriously?" Carol muttered under her breath.

"You should go," Natasha whispered, her eyes glancing at the wound on Carol's temple. The redhead reached up, running her hand gently down Carol's cheek. She closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the other woman's touch and momentarily forgetting she was having a conversation.

"I'll be right there doctor," she finally responded, loud enough for him to hear.

"Thank you Ms. Danvers," came the doctor's clipped reply.

The comm link closed and Carol pressed their foreheads together again, sighing loudly. Natasha chuckled again, giving Carol's forehead a slight nudge. They stood there for a moment, neither one wanting to move, until finally Natasha let go and headed for the door.

Pausing in front of the door she looked back at Carol, a huge smile spreading across her delicate features. It was the most beautiful thing Carol had ever seen.

"See you soon, Danvers," was all she said, and with that Natasha slipped out the door, leaving Carol standing in the middle of the room, smiling like an idiot, hardly believing what had just happened.

\-----

Natasha strode down the hallway, walking with much more confidence than she felt. Making her way towards Carol's quarters, she was doing her best to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. She had had every intention of keeping her distance from the other woman, at least while she figured out how to deal with her feelings. Feelings that obviously weren't going to go away, no matter how hard she tried to ignore them. She couldn't stop thinking about the look they had shared in the entrance hall. The way Carol's warm glowing chestnut eyes had given Natasha goosebumps all over.

Which was not the plan at all. Seeing Carol come home safe and sound and feeling relieved and at ease was the plan. Not the butterflies, or the undeniable excitement that was pulsing through her veins at the moment. She found herself both dreading and longing for this encounter.

Arriving at Carol's door, she took a calming deep breath and smoothed her features, fitting the mask into place. She would make this quick, just business. In and out. She rang the doorbell and after a few seconds the blonde answered the door, a look of surprise immediately washing over her face.

"Natasha?"

"Hi, Steve asked me to deliver the new intelligence data and see if you were done downloading the file," Natasha said evenly.

After a beat Carol smiled politely, "Of course, it just finished, come in."

Natasha walked a few paces into the room, remaining by the door while the blonde walked over to a small desk where her suit was draped. She couldn't help but notice the new black smudges marring the Captain Marvel symbol. The rest of the suit also looked more worn than she remembered and the sight made her stomach twist into knots. Carol disconnected the drive and walked back over to Natasha, handing the flash drive to her.

The exchange caused their fingers to touch briefly and she suddenly felt her heart start to pound inside her chest. She tried to brush it off, desperately trying to hold the mask in place, but to her dismay she could feel it starting to slip. What the hell was it about this woman? Thinking she should leave before she made herself look like a complete ass, she thanked Carol and turned to leave.

She was startled when Carol suddenly called out, "Um, don't you have something for me?"

Natasha stopped in her tracks and looked over her shoulder. Her brain was short-circuiting, did she have something for Carol? After a couple seconds realization finally hit her as she felt the flash drive still in her pocket. Feeling foolish she walked back over to Carol and handed it to the blonde, making sure their fingers didn't touch again.

"Thanks, I'll take a look at it," Carol was saying, tossing the drive onto the desk.

"Yeah, that wood be great," she heard herself say, her voice faltering slightly. Carol looked at her suddenly, their eyes meeting for an awkward moment before the blonde looked away again, obviously uncomfortable. The reaction made something stir inside Natasha, and she felt her heart start to clench in her chest. She had been so worried for what felt like so long, it was almost heartbreaking to be this close and not be able to express it. She suddenly had the urge to walk over to the other woman, to reach out, to make sure Carol was alright.

As if reading Natasha's thoughts, Carol reached up with one hand and slipped a strand of hair behind her ear, the motion causing her face to contort with pain. Natasha followed the blonde's hand and saw a dark blue gash running down Carol's left temple. Shocked, she immediately walked over to the other woman, closing the distance between them.

"Oh my God," she whispered, reaching out instinctively. She gently touched the area around the wound with her fingertips, gauging the healing. She wasn't a doctor but she did know a thing or two about triage. She assessed the wound quickly, concluding that it seemed to be healing well. The sight of Carol's injuries made the knot in her stomach tighten again, reminding her of the worry, the uncertainty, the regret she had been holding in all this time, and how she had felt when no one was sure if Carol would be returning home.

"You should see the other guy," Carol finally said, chuckling dryly.

The remark dragged Natasha from her thoughts and she shifted her gaze from the wound to Carol's warm chestnut eyes. It was then she realized their close proximity and that her hand was still touching Carol's face. She suddenly felt light-headed as her heart started to pound in her ears, and she found herself unable to look away. Carol was staring at her, holding her gaze this time. They hadn't been this close since that day in the gym, and Natasha could feel the same draw she had then.

Only this time it was even stronger, her need almost overwhelming, and before she could stop herself her fingers were drifting down to Carol's cheek. The other woman's skin was soft and radiating warmth, making Natasha's fingers tingle. Part of her brain was telling her to stop, to leave immediately, but her body simply wouldn't listen. She felt almost transfixed as she let her fingers slowly caress the blonde's face, coming to rest at her jaw.

For her part, Carol had gone completely still, her eyes still locked firmly on Natasha's. She showed no reaction to the redhead's touch, except for her eyes which were beginning to glow a golden chestnut. Recalling Carol's "riled up" comment from the gym, Natasha suddenly felt herself flush, the warmth spreading out from her chest into the rest of her body. Her breathing hitched and she could feel herself starting to lose control, her eyes drifting down Carol's face. Finally giving in to the undeniable desire that was coursing through her body she leaned in and kissed the blonde.

The feel of Carol's lips against her own drove the butterflies in her stomach into a frenzy. The other woman's lips were even warmer than her skin, and her breath felt warm on Natasha's cheek. Feeling no response from the blonde she pulled back slowly, searching the other woman's eyes. Carol almost seemed to be in a trance, her heated gaze boring into Natasha's own. For a brief moment she wondered if she had made a mistake, if she had read the signs wrong, but then the blonde suddenly reached out and wrapped her arms around Natasha's waist. Before she could react Carol pulled her in close and kissed her.

Natasha felt like she'd been struck by lightning. Her body responded immediately, her hands gently cupping Carol's face as they kissed slowly. She felt the blonde pull her closer until their bodies were pressed flush against each other, the warmth between them increasing exponentially. She moved one of her hands to the back of Carol's head, pulling the woman in closer while she deepened the kiss. The blonde moaned and the sound stripped away any remaining control Natasha had left.

Surrendering herself to the longing and desire she had been denying for so long, Natasha wrapped her arms around Carol's neck, kissing her passionately. The blonde kissed her back with equal intensity, running her hands up Natasha's back, sending shivers down her spine. They kissed until they were both breathless and Natasha finally pulled away, just enough to press their foreheads together. She leaned against Carol, trying to catch her breath, her chest heaving and her heart pounding so hard she was sure the other woman could feel it.

They held each other in a comfortable silence, Natasha relishing every sensation around her. The feel of Carol's body pressed against her own, the way the blonde's breath tickled her cheek, and the feel of Carol's hands roaming up and down her back. She felt both aroused and relaxed at the same time, something she had never experienced before. Something she never would have felt if Carol hadn't come home earlier today.

"I was so worried about you," she said quietly, her mind reflecting briefly on the last few weeks.

"Really?" she heard Carol ask softy, a note of disbelief in her voice.

"God, yes," Natasha chuckled softly, closing her eyes.

"I'm ok," she heard Carol whisper, "I'm here. Takes more than that to get rid of me."

It was meant to be a light joke but it hit Natasha hard. She pulled back, looking into Carol's warm chestnut eyes, a million thoughts starting to race through her head. The other woman suddenly reached up and caressed Natasha's cheek, her eyes filled with tenderness. Then she pulled Natasha close and kissed her, slowly and deeply. Natasha felt like she was melting, all thoughts of the last few weeks slowly ebbing away. God, this woman felt good, she just wanted to run her hands all over Carol Danvers. The air around them seemed to grow even warmer and spark and she honestly couldn't tell if it was actually happening or just in her head. But she really didn't care. This was everything right now. She could feel herself losing all control and for once felt no fear, only a blissful warmth.

Suddenly a chirping sound filled the room and she heard the chief medical officer say, "Carol Danvers this is Dr. Erickson, please respond."

Carol groaned against Natasha's lips, the sound making her smile while simultaneously sending shivers down her spine. When the blonde made no move to answer the page Natasha forced herself to pull away, pinning Carol with an amused look.

"You'd better answer the good doctor," she chuckled softly.

Carol sighed, "Yes doctor?"

"Please report to the infirmary for your evaluation," came the robotic reply.

"Seriously?" Carol muttered under her breath.

Natasha reached up and ran her hand gently down Carol's cheek. "You should go," she whispered, her eyes glancing at the wound on Carol's temple. The blonde closed her eyes, leaning into Natasha's touch for a moment before replying.

"I'll be right there doctor," Carol finally responded.

"Thank you Ms. Danvers," Dr. Erickson replied and the comm link closed.

Carol gently pressed her forehead against Natasha's, sighing loudly. Natasha couldn't help but smile, apparently she found this side of Carol adorable. They stood there for a moment before Natasha reluctantly pulled away, heading towards the door. She paused long enough to look back over her shoulder, seeing a dazed, disheveled Captain Marvel still standing in the middle of the room watching her leave. Natasha felt her face break out in a huge grin, and this time she didn't try to conceal it.

"See you soon, Danvers," she grinned and stepped out the door, heading to her own quarters. She was halfway there, walking in a daze, before she realized the flash drive was still in her pocket. Turning around she headed towards the command room, smiling like an idiot to herself.

\-----


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They just can't help themselves...

\-----

Carol was going to be late.

She rummaged through her closet, grabbing a pair of jeans and what she hoped was a clean shirt. Where the hell was her jacket? She glanced around the small room, her eyes finally landing on worn brown leather, barely visible underneath a stack of papers on her desk.

Why were the Friday meetings always at 8 am?

Carol couldn't help but think it was some form of torture. Throwing on her clothes and quickly running a brush through her hair, she deemed herself presentable.

She was running on about three hours of sleep which was no where near enough. Especially according to Dr. Erikson. After giving her a full examination, which was a complete waste of time, the only advice he had given her was to get plenty of rest. Which she had promptly ignored. Not that she didn't want to sleep, it had been almost impossible to pull herself out of her warm bed this morning, her sleep-deprived brain not quite coming online until she saw the time. Then she had literally jumped out of bed, realizing she had only 5 minutes to get ready.

Finally making it out the door, she walked quickly through the corridors, zipping up her jacket and making sure her shoes were tied. Rolling her eyes she chastised herself, it wasn't like she had had a late night. After the doctor's appointment she had met her friends for dinner, and then was back in her quarters before 10 pm. She had scanned the intelligence data on the flash drive for about an hour, preparing for the crack-of-dawn meeting, and then crawled into bed, ready for a well-earned night of rest.

But her brain had other ideas. During her doctor's appointment, dinner, and even her self-induced homework, a certain redhead was always in the back of her mind, but all the distractions kept her sane. But there were no distractions in her quiet dark room, or her cozy bed, and as happy as she was to be reunited with them, she desperately wanted to be somewhere else. Wherever Natasha was.

She lay in bed for a while wondering how Natasha spent her evening, and what she was probably doing at that moment. Then her mind drifted to the events of the afternoon, and sleep became a lost cause. She tried reading, snacking, and even some exercises but nothing helped. For an insane moment she considered going to Natasha's quarters, but that was entirely too brash, plus by then the redhead was probably asleep. She didn't want to seem that desperate. She wasn't sure where they were going, but she thought it best to take it slow.

Finally around 5 am she must have succumbed to exhaustion. She woke up to the shrill sound of her alarm which had apparently been going off for at least an hour. She had no memory of hitting snooze repeatedly.

So here she was, racing down the hallway to the command room, hoping that she wasn't going to be too late. Finally arriving at the doors she stopped briefly to give herself a once-over, and discovering her fly was down thanked God she had checked.

She opened the doors, trying to ignore her stomach which was doing flips at the realization that she was about to see Natasha. Almost everyone was gathered around the table, a couple people still getting settled, and Carol was relieved to see the meeting hadn't started yet.

She scanned the room quickly, assessing where she should sit and looking for...

Natasha was already looking at her when she found the other woman's emerald eyes. She was seated on the opposite side of the table from where Carol was standing. The redhead looked impeccable, her smooth mask firmly in place, but as they gazed at each other for a moment, Carol could see Natasha's eyes soften.

Not wanting to be obvious, and apparently having the same thought at the same time, they both looked away, Carol directing her attention to an empty chair in front of her. She sat down, her heart already pounding in her ears, resisting the urge to look at Natasha again. She groaned inwardly, this was going to be a long meeting.

About halfway through the meeting she realized she hadn't eaten anything, but her stomach discomfort was no where near as distracting as the redhead sitting across from her. She tried to give Steve her undivided attention, attempting to focus on the matters at hand. But then someone sitting next to Natasha or the redhead herself would speak up and her attention would again be lost.

It didn't help when Natasha returned her looks, the two of them briefly sharing gazes across the table that continued to increase in intensity as the meeting went on. Everytime their eyes met, memories from the day before would bombard her brain. The feel of Natasha's lips on hers, the feel of Natasha's fingertips grazing her cheek, the feel of.... Carol abruptly tore her eyes away, trying unsuccessfully to clear her head.

Steve was outlining a plan he was working on, one that he assured Carol wouldn't involve her. She smiled at the remark and quirked an eyebrow, telling him it was no problem at all which made most of the table laugh. Except Natasha who was looking in Carol's direction but looked distracted, like she was somewhere far away. The laugher seemed to bring the redhead out of her thoughts and her eyes focused, locking with Carol's. It was hard to tell for sure, but Carol thought she could see a faint pink color barely visible on the other woman's cheeks. The sight of Natasha blushing immediately made her heart start to flutter and she looked away, hoping she wasn't blushing as well.

Finally the meeting ended and she stood, not really thinking where she was going but needing to get out of her chair. Her skin was tingling and she felt warm, too warm. She glanced down at her hands, making sure there was no obvious physical manifestation. She looked towards Natasha and saw the redhead quickly leave the room, no doubt heading to her desk. She was thinking about following the other woman when Steve called her over.

Throwing one last glance at the retreating redhead, she sighed to herself and reluctantly walked over to him. He wanted to ask her a couple more questions about the intelligence data she had looked at. She had given most of her thoughts during the meeting, but he wanted a few more details. She tried to be patient but her skin was crawling at this point, and she desperately needed to gather herself somewhere private. Finally Steve was done with her, and she made her way to the closest bathroom, seeking some cool water and privacy.

She opened the door, almost running into the person leaving, and then stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of Natasha drying her hands. The redhead looked up and did a double take, her eyes going wide and her towel forgotten. They stared at each other for a couple seconds, the silence seeming to fill the empty room, and then Carol moved, quickly crossing the distance between them. Without a second thought she wrapped her arms around the redhead and kissed her.

Natasha met her halfway and threw her arms around Carol's neck, pulling her closer. The redhead was warm and Carol realized she wasn't the only one burning up. They kissed hungrily, Natasha's arms locked firmly around Carol's neck while Carol moved her hands down the other woman's back, feeling the muscles tighten. She slowly let her hands roam lower and heard Natasha gasp, her hands suddenly moving to clutch the back of Carol's head.

She felt Natasha's fingernails graze the soft skin at her hairline and she moaned softly, the sensation making her brain short-circuit. Suddenly needing more contact Carol swiftly picked up the redhead, her awareness of their surroundings not even registering. Natasha immediately wrapped her legs around Carol's waist, the redhead's strength almost as impressive as her own. In one fluid movement she pressed Natasha into the wall, the heat between them becoming almost unbearable.

She was briefly reminded of their spar in the gym, and how they had unintentionally ended up in a similar position then. She remembered how badly she had wanted it to go farther, how electrifying it had been to be that close to Natasha. Now here they were against a different wall, their bodies intertwined and uninhibited passions ignited, and Carol felt like she was going to explode.

Finally they were both breathing so hard they had to pull apart and Carol took the opportunity to let her lips drift down Natasha's neck, making her way down to the redhead's collarbone. The other woman pressed her head back against the wall and moaned softly, the sound threatening to make Carol lose all control.

As if sensing this, Natasha suddenly released Carol's neck, bringing her hands around to cup the blonde's face. She brought them face to face and rested their foreheads together, her hands gently caressing Carol's face.

"Not here," she breathed, her voice low and husky.

Carol stilled and they stood there for a few seconds, both trying to catch their breath. Then she pulled back and looked around, suddenly realizing the very public compromising position they were in. She laughed quietly, smiling at the redhead.

"Sorry, guess I got a little carried away," she replied sheepishly.

"Just so you know, normally this," Natasha gestured at the wall behind her head, "wouldn't be a problem at all," and smiled suggestively, her gaze darkening.

Catching the redhead's drift, Carol's smile faded and she began to feel warm again, her skin tingling at the insinuation. Resisting the urge to kiss the other woman again she closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath to clear her head. Then she pulled away, gently placing Natasha back on her feet.

"Noted," she replied, a smile slowly spreading across her face.

The redhead smiled back and leaned in, giving Carol a soft chaste kiss on the cheek. The gesture was unexpectedly intimate, and instantly made her heart start to flutter. The other woman lingered for a moment and then pulled away, walking towards the door. Two women entered the bathroom at that moment, mid-conversation, and Carol was suddenly grateful Natasha had stopped their encounter from escalating. The redhead turned at the door, giving Carol one last lingering look before she left. The blonde sighed and walked over to one of the sinks to get some desperately needed cool water.

\-----

Natasha was already at her desk at 7:30 am. The meeting didn't start for another half hour, but she wanted to get an early start today. Plus, she had woken up at 5 am and all attempts to fall back to sleep had been a complete failure.

Steve always held the Friday morning meetings at 8 am, she figured he liked early morning meetings because of his military past. Natasha didn't usually mind since she was an early riser, but she knew after the stimulating events of the afternoon, she would be needing some help getting to sleep that night.

So after a quick dinner in her quarters, she had headed to the gym, ready to vent some energy. Ever since leaving Carol's quarters she had felt antsy, distracted, and frustrated. It took about an hour on the bag but finally she felt her body succumbing to her exhaustion. It had been a long day, and after a quick shower she hopped into bed relatively early, falling asleep almost immediately.

Maybe it was a dream, or a noise of some sort, but something woke her up around 5 am, her brain wide awake. Inevitably her thoughts had focused immediately on Carol and that was the end of sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about the other woman. It was a strange predicament to be in, especially since she had never had this problem before, but she had been around long enough to know what it meant. She was completely infatuated and it was both wonderful and frustrating.

Around 6 am she was so restless she had briefly entertained the idea of going to Carol's quarters and then chastised herself, realizing the other woman was probably still asleep. Plus it wasn't like she could just drop by, no matter how badly she wanted to see Carol, she didn't want to seem desperate. A half hour later, still unable to shake the blonde from her thoughts, she had finally gotten out of bed and took her time getting ready for the day.

Glancing at the clock now, she realized it was time to head into the meeting, acutely aware that she would be seeing Carol soon. She walked to the command room and picked a spot at the table, making polite conversation with her colleagues and waiting.

By 8 am most people were getting settled and the meeting was about to start but Carol still hadn't arrived. Natasha began to feel antsy, her anticipation starting to get the better of her. Then suddenly the doors opened and Carol walked in. She looked a little disheveled and slightly out of breath, but to Natasha that seemed to only make her look hotter.

She watched as Carol scanned the room, patiently waiting until...

Carol's chestnut eyes finally found hers, and it took all her willpower not break out into a smile. They gazed at each other for a moment, Natasha's heart already starting to pound in her chest. Knowing this wasn't the time, she forced herself to look away, seeing Carol do the same. She looked down at the table, gathering herself, attempting to slow her heart rate and breathing to a somewhat normal level. To her dismay she realized it wasn't working, and she groaned inwardly. This was going to be a long meeting.

Half an hour later she was staring at Steve so hard he probably thought she was plotting his murder. It was taking all her concentration to focus on what he was saying and not look across the table. The information was important, and she knew she should be listening more carefully but it was proving to be an impossible task.

Everytime Carol spoke and Natasha glanced in the blonde's direction, their eyes would meet and she would momentarily forget anyone else was in the room. The same thing happened when she spoke up. Carol's eyes would inevitably find hers and she would completely lose her train of thought. As the meeting progressed, each brief gaze across the table was slowly increasing in intensity.

Another half hour passed and she felt so uncomfortable she wanted to crawl out of her skin. She was having to force herself not to look at the blonde for fear she might jump across the table and tackle the other woman to the ground. Before she knew it she was envisioning wrapping her legs around Carol and throwing her to the floor, feeling the other woman's body beneath her own...

She suddenly realized everyone was laughing and that she was unabashedly fantasizing at work. Not only that, but she was blatantly staring at the object of her fantasy. Carol was looking at her intently and she felt herself flush, her body suddenly burning up. She looked away quickly, desperately hoping no one had noticed.

Finally the meeting ended and Natasha stood up abruptly, making a beeline for her desk. She was so wound up she couldn't even chance a look in Carol's direction. Sitting down in the relative quiet of her desk she attempted to slow her breathing, trying to think of anything that wasn't Carol. After a couple of minutes she gave up and headed to the bathroom, needing someplace more private to gather herself.

A couple minutes later she found herself staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She sighed, she looked like the same woman, but she didn't feel the same. She had seen other people do this, and had usually felt disdain or pity for them. Never would she have thought this could happen to her. Her nature was to be more apprehensive, more calculating, but around Carol it all went to...

Shit.

Carol was suddenly standing in front of her, staring at Natasha with a look of utter surprise on her face. Natasha was so caught off guard she couldn't even move, but she felt her heart slam into her chest and a flush spread throughout her entire body. And then she knew she was fucked.

She wasn't sure who moved first, but suddenly Carol was wrapping her arms around her waist and they were kissing. She threw her arms around the blonde's neck, pressing her body as close as she could in a desperate need to feel the other woman's warmth.

They kissed hungrily, Natasha relishing the feel of Carol's hands roaming over her body. The other woman stroked her lower back, her strong hands sending tingling sensations down Natasha's spine. Then the blonde's hands roamed lower and Natasha couldn't contain her gasp. She clutched the back of Carol's head and deepened the kiss, pulling the other woman impossibly closer.

She heard Carol moan and suddenly her feet were leaving the floor as the blonde picked her up, moving them backwards. She hungrily wrapped her legs around the other woman and squeezed, the action sending shivers of pleasure down to her toes. Seconds later she felt her back hit the wall and the sensation amplified as Carol pressed herself closer.

She was briefly reminded of their spar in the gym, and how they had unintentionally ended up in a similar position then. She remembered how badly she had wanted it to go farther, how exhilarating it had been to be that close to Carol. Now here they were against a different wall, their bodies intertwined and uninhibited passions ignited, and Natasha felt like she was going to explode.

After a couple minutes they finally had to pull apart, both of them breathless. Natasha felt the blonde's lips on her neck as Carol slowly kissed her way down to her collarbone, leaving a trail of fire. She pressed her head back against the wall and moaned softy, fairly certain she was about to black out.

All she wanted in the world in that moment was for Carol to keep going, to feel the blonde's warm breath on her skin, but she knew this wasn't the place for it. Calling on every bit of willpower she had left, she took Carol's face in her hands and pulled the other woman up, gently pressing their foreheads together. She gently caressed the other woman's face, desperately trying to calm them both.

"Not here," she managed to get out, her voice low and husky.

They stood there for a few seconds, both trying to catch their breath, and then Carol pulled back, a look of realization spreading across her features as she registered their current compromising position. The bonde laughed quietly and smiled at her adorably, and Natasha felt her heart flutter.

"Sorry, guess I got a little carried away," Carol replied sheepishly.

Not wanting to discourage possible future escapades, Natasha felt the need to clarify. 

"Just so you know, normally this," she indicated the wall behind her, "wouldn't be a problem at all," and smiled suggestively, hoping Carol would catch her drift.

The blonde immediately caught on and her smile faded as the faint glow in her eyes brightened for an instant. Then she abruptly closed them, taking a deep breath. When she opened them again the chestnut color had returned, and she pulled away, gently placing Natasha back on her feet.

"Noted," Carol replied, a smile slowly spreading across her face.

She returned the smile and softy kissed Carol on the cheek, breathing in the blonde's scent. She smelled like a warm summer afternoon, and for a moment Natasha thought she wouldn't be able to leave. Then she reluctantly pulled away, making her way towards the door just as two women entered the bathroom. Thank God she had had the strength to stop anything more compromising from happening. She turned to give Carol one last look before slipping out the door, hoping next time, she wouldn't have to.

\-----


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's have a little fun...

\-----

Natasha was nervous.

She was sitting in the kitchen at her usual table, pretending to look over some data on her pad. In reality she was staring at an old report trying to ignore the butterflies that were going haywire in her stomach. She felt like an idiot, how could she possibly be nervous about eating lunch? She ate here almost ever day for her lunch break. Today was no different.

Except that Carol was joining her.

It had been two days since their encounter in the bathroom, and they hadn't really seen each other since. Carol's friends had claimed her yesterday after work, and Natasha had been forced to stay late in the office the day before. So most of their time together had consisted of lingering looks and trying to stand inconspicuously near each other in the office area.

Natasha had finally decided to make a move this morning but when she arrived at her desk she saw Carol had beaten her to it. Inside a discreetly folded note the blonde had written, "Lunch today? I'll be in the kitchen around noon. Hope to see you. C" and Natasha hadn't been able to concentrate since.

So here she sat, early of course, nervously watching the door. It surprised her how much she was looking forward to seeing the blonde. She tried to reason with herself that it had only been two days, but it felt like it had been forever. Natasha glanced at the door again and sighed. There was nothing to be nervous about, they were just two friends having lunch, as far as anyone else was concerned.

Natasha preferred to keep their relationship quiet for now and hoped Carol would be on board with the idea. The last time she had expressed interest in someone publicly it had blown up in her face. After that fiasco she had written off dating all together, especially with someone she worked with. And then Carol Danvers walked into her life.

She knew the blonde was different the moment she laid eyes on the woman. Carol knew who she was and owned it, using her incredible abilities to help those who needed it most. The fact that she had left her home for so long to help others was a testament to her honorable nature. And of course she was hot, with a quick wit and great sense of humor. Natasha never stood a chance.

It was only when she heard footsteps behind her that she realized she had a small smile on her face. She composed herself immediately, slipping the mask easily into place just in time to hear a cheery voice say, "Heyyyy look who it is."

She looked up and smiled politely at her friend.

"Tony," she greeted him evenly.

"Hey, may I?" he asked, sitting down in the chair next to her before she could reply.

He looked at her, seeming to size her up.

"How are things?" he asked casually.

"Can't complain," she answered, narrowing her eyes. "What are you looking at?"

"Well I saw you sitting here, and... I'm not one to pry, but you almost seem..." he looked her up and down, pretending to search for the word.

"Happy."

She quirked an eyebrow.

"Happy?" she echoed warily.

"Yeah, you know.... happy."

He smiled.

"Am I usually not happy?"

"Well, I'd say on a good day you're... content. But lately you seem... happy." He smiled again. Natasha could tell he was teasing her and she started to get a sneaking suspicion why.

"Sure, I guess so," she said, turning away to take a sip of her water.

"Can't imagine why," he said quietly.

Natasha gave him a sidelong glance. He couldn't possibly know.

At that moment the doors opened and Carol walked in, scanning the room.

"Speak of the devil," Tony said airily.

Natasha turned to look at Carol, her heart instantly starting to pound. The blonde was dressed in a t-shirt and jeans that hugged her body just right. She couldn't help but gaze at the woman, until Tony's words suddenly registered in her brain. She turned to face him, pinning him with a glare.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"What? I think it's adorable."

She gaped at him, a million questions suddenly flying through her head; the most important one being how could he possibly know?

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, turning away from him.

"Right," he nodded.

"There's nothing going on."

"Right," he continued to nod.

She sighed. "You're a pig, Tony."

"Here to help... hey look who it is! The hero of the hour," Tony raised his voice as Carol approached their table.

"Thanks, Tony," Carol chuckled.

"Please, sit," he gestured to a chair across from him and Natasha, grinning ear to ear.

Carol raised an eyebrow looking at him for a moment. She seemed to be assessing the situation, like she was trying to decide if she should be wary or amused.

"Alright," the blonde said, drawing out the word, a small smile tugging at her lips. She had apparently chosen the latter.

Carol took a seat and then shifted her eyes to Natasha's, warm chestnut mixing with deep emerald. Natasha felt herself flush and desperately hoped it didn't show. She was never going to hear the end of this.

Tony broke the silence first.

"So... what's it like being back? Have you had a chance to reconnect with everyone?" he asked, putting a special emphasis on "reconnect".

Natasha groaned inwardly. He was enjoying this way too much.

Carol smiled slowly, obviously catching on.

"Why yes, I think I have. Thanks for asking Tony," Carol answered, her eyes twinkling.

Tony grinned.

"Well, it's great to have you back. I mean, we were all worried but this one," he cocked his head towards Natasha, "was a complete wreck."

Natasha whipped her head around to stare at him, so shocked she couldn't help her jaw from dropping slightly.

Tony smiled innocently.

"Right, well I'll leave you two kids to it," he said. And with that he stood up, winked at them, and strode off.

Natasha turned to look at Carol who seemed a little stunned. Their eyes met and the blonde suddenly grinned.

"So, he knows," she said casually.

"Apparently."

"Wonder who else does," Carol mused, glancing around the room.

Natasha felt like she wanted to disappear.

"Hopefully no one else."

Carol looked at the redhead, her brow furrowing slightly.

"Are we trying to keep this quiet?"

Natasha hesitated, suddenly worried the other woman wouldn't like the idea.

"I would prefer it, if that's ok. Going public hasn't really worked out for me in the past," she said quietly, glancing around the room.

Carol studied her for a moment, and then to Natasha's relief shrugged slightly.

"Ok," she said simply.

Natasha let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She felt like a weight had been lifted.

"You're sure you don't mind keeping this between the two of us for now?" she asked, wanting the other woman to be sure.

Carol gazed at her for a moment and then let her eyes drift down and back up Natasha's body. She smiled suggestively, obviously liking what she saw.

"I'm sure," she replied, a faint glow in her chestnut eyes.

Natasha instantly felt her cheeks warm and her heartbeat quicken in response.

"By the way," Carol said, leaning forward slightly, "you're adorable when you blush."

Natasha gaped at the blonde, momentarily speechless. She felt her entire body flush, embarrassment and arousal making her heart pound even faster. She suddenly had the impulse to grab the blonde and take her someplace more private. She thought of a nearby dimly-lit corridor she had noticed earlier.

Carol grinned and then broke their heated gaze, glancing at a nearby table. Natasha was curious if the blonde was as keyed up as she was. She took a deep breath, reminding herself they were just two friends having lunch together.

"So," the other woman cleared her throat, "what's good here?"

Natasha thought for a moment and then cocked an eyebrow.

"I've been told the cheeseburgers are exquisite," she replied, grinning.

Carol laughed, her warm chestnut eyes twinkling, and Natasha's heart skipped a beat.

\-----

Carol was nervous.

She was walking down the main corridor that led to the kitchen, telling herself it was just a normal day and that she was going to go have a normal lunch with a friend... hopefully. The truth was, she wasn't even hungry. How could she be? There was no room for food with all the butterflies in her stomach.

She smiled to herself. She couldn't believe how nervous she was. It had been two days since her encounter with Natasha in the bathroom, and since then everything had conspired to keep them apart. Well, not really, but it felt that way. Unwilling to let another day pass, she had decided to make a move, asking the redhead to join her for lunch. It was a little risky since she had no way of knowing if Natasha ever saw her note. Carol rolled her eyes, they really needed to exchange phone numbers.

As she neared the kitchen she slowed, suddenly feeling uncertain. There were a million reasons why Natasha might not show, and Carol was suddenly thinking of all of them. She sighed, it wasn't like her to second guess herself, she was usually so confident. But there was something about Natasha that kept her on her toes. The woman was swathed in mystery, and Carol found the uncertainty exhilarating. Taking a deep breath she decided to push her doubts to the side and walked through the door, scanning the room quickly.

To her everlasting relief she finally spotted Natasha sitting with Tony at a table across the room. The redhead had her tight black leather jacket on that made her look every inch the badass she was. Her and Tony seemed to be in the middle of a conversation, one that entailed a lot of nodding on Tony's part. Intrigued, Carol walked over.

Tony looked up as she approached, smiling at her broadly.

"Hey look who it is! The hero of the hour."

"Thanks, Tony," Carol chuckled.

"Please, sit," he gestured to a chair across from him and Natasha, grinning ear to ear.

Carol raised an eyebrow and looked at him for a moment, trying to figure out what she had just walked into. Tony was obviously up to something and she was trying to decide if she should be wary or amused.

"Alright," she said, deciding on the latter.

She took a seat and looked over at Natasha who, on closer inspection, seemed to be somewhat flustered. The redhead returned her gaze, a faint blush reaching her cheeks. Carol felt her heartbeat quicken.

Tony broke the silence first.

"So... what's it like being back? Have you had a chance to reconnect with everyone?" he asked, putting a special emphasis on "reconnect".

Carol looked at him and smiled slowly. So that's what this was about. Had Natasha told him? She had been under the impression that the redhead wanted to keep things between them quiet.

"Why yes, I think I have. Thanks for asking Tony," Carol answered, thoroughly amused.

Tony grinned.

"Well, it's great to have you back. I mean, we were all worried but this one," he cocked his head towards Natasha, "was a complete wreck."

Natasha whipped her head around to stare at him while Carol was momentarily stunned. Wow, he did not beat around the bush. And now she knew how he had figured them out, or at least she had an idea, and the realization warmed her through and through.

Tony was smiling innocently.

"Right, well I'll leave you two kids to it," he said. And with that he stood up, winked at them, and strode off.

Natasha turned to look at her and Carol couldn't stop herself from grinning.

"So, he knows," she said casually.

"Apparently," Natasha answered.

"Wonder who else does," she mused, glancing around at the other tables in the room.

"Hopefully no one else," Natasha replied, sounding a little apprehensive.

Carol returned her gaze to the redhead, realizing she should probably confirm her suspicions.

"Are we trying to keep this quiet?"

Natasha looked at her for a moment, obviously hesitating.

"I would prefer it, if that's ok. Going public hasn't really worked out for me in the past," the redhead said quietly, glancing around the room. 

Carol was relieved. She didn't care if people knew about them, as long a Natasha still wanted to be with her.

"Ok," she said easily.

Natasha looked at her earnestly.

"You're sure you don't mind keeping this between the two of us for now?" the redhead asked.

The idea of sneaking around and having the other woman all to herself was suddenly very appealing, and honestly arousing. She smiled at Natasha suggestively, brazenly letting her eyes roam.

"I'm sure," she replied, locking eyes with the other woman.

Natasha held her gaze, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks. Carol decided to take it one step further.

"By the way," she said, leaning forward slightly, "you're adorable when you blush."

The remark had the desired effect. Natasha looked both startled and aroused. Carol could see the other woman's pupils darkening, the sight stirring the energy that was already smoldering inside of her. She grinned at the redhead and then looked away, deciding to change the subject before the two of them made a scene.

"So," she said after a few moments, clearing her throat, "what's good here?"

The other woman cocked an eyebrow.

"I've been told the cheeseburgers are exquisite," Natasha replied, her face breaking out into a grin.

Carol laughed out loud, delighted all the way down to her toes.

\-----


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a little late... life happens. Enjoy!

\-----

It wasn't a date, but if it was, it would have been an awesome first date. Talking to Natasha felt so natural and effortless, Carol didn't even have to think about what she was going to say next. The conversation flowed smoothly without any uncomfortable lulls or awkward silences. They laughed easily while talking about various topics such as work, friends, and favorite movies. After some prodding she even got Natasha to share some old stories from the early Avengers days. They kept it strictly friendly, just like they planned, but by the end of the hour it was starting to drive Carol a little crazy.

They were sitting across the table from each other which meant Natasha was close but not close enough. It was a tease, to finally spend some time with the redhead but with no physical contact allowed. Sometimes she would catch her eyes starting to roam down the other woman's body, imagining what Natasha was wearing underneath her tight black leather jacket. Then she would snap her attention back to the conversation, hoping the redhead hadn't noticed. By the time they realized it was time to go, she was dying to get out of her chair.

As they walked to the door together, so close their shoulders almost touched, she had to resist the urge to reach out and take Natasha's hand. Maybe keeping things quiet was going to be harder than she thought. They walked slowly down the hallway for a bit, side by side, their close proximity making Carol's skin tingle all over. She was reluctantly preparing to say a friendly goodbye when the redhead abruptly grabbed her hand and pulled her into a smaller, dimly lit corridor. Carol barely had time to register their new surroundings before Natasha pressed her against the wall and kissed her.

The situation went from zero to sixty in about two seconds flat. Carol immediately wrapped her arms around the other woman, pulling Natasha closer to deepen the kiss. All her pent up longing from the last hour came rushing to the surface as the energy within her came alive. Warmth surged though her, spreading from her chest all the way down to her toes. The redhead seemed to feel it as well, her breathing becoming heavier as she gripped Carol's waist tighter. Natasha shifted her position and Carol suddenly felt the other woman's leg slide between her own, the sudden pressure sending waves of pleasure coursing through her like electricity. She groaned involuntarily, her body starting to ache with desire as the redhead's hands slowly moved up her torso.

Carol started to lose all sense of self control, gripping the other woman tighter as Natasha moved slowly against her body. The redhead moaned and pressed against her harder, her hands clutching Carol's sides so forcefully the blonde suddenly gasped. She broke the kiss abruptly, squeezing her eyes shut as pain radiated from the left side of her torso.

Natasha immediately let go and pulled back as Carol bent down, clutching her side.

"Oh my God, are... are you alright??" she heard Natasha ask, hearing the panic in the other woman's voice.

Carol's head was spinning, the mixture of residual desire and sudden pain making her brain short circuit. She tried to concentrate on controlling her breathing, doing her best to push through the pain. She could feel Natasha's hand on her back and realized the redhead was crouched in front of her. As the pain began subside she finally opened her eyes, seeing a stricken look on the other woman's face.

"It's ok... I'm fine," she said, trying to assure the other woman.

With Natasha's help Carol slowly straightened up, leaning against the wall as she attempted to smile.

"I just have some ribs that aren't quite done healing yet... apparently ribs take a long time," she sighed and rolled her eyes, trying to lighten the mood. Now that the pain had lessened to a dull ache she was starting to feel a little embarrassed.

Her effort to make light of the situation was lost on Natasha. The redhead looked down where Carol was still clutching her side and stepped closer, putting her hand gingerly over Carol's. She looked up, concern and guilt evident in her dark emerald eyes.

"I'm so sorry, I forgot you're still healing--"

"I'm fine," Carol said softly, shaking her head, "don't worry about it."

She smiled but Natasha continued to stare intensely at her, the redhead's cheeks still slightly flushed and her brow furrowed in thought.

"What happened?" the other woman asked quietly.

Carol had kept all the personal details of her mission to herself, especially those concerning her health. She was still disturbed by how close she had come to dying, and didn't want to dwell on the fact that she obviously wasn't as indestructible as she had thought. Her memories from the battle were still a little fuzzy but the doctors had gone into great detail concerning her injuries. Carol looked into Natasha's intense imploring eyes, and as reluctant as she was to talk about what had happened, she knew she had no choice but to let the other woman in. 

She sighed.

"I got into it with a particularly formidable asshole. During the fight, most of the bones on this side of my torso were shattered."

Natasha's eyes went wide. She seemed to stop breathing for a couple seconds and then nodded slightly.

"What else?" she pressed.

"Well, the damage caused a lot of internal bleeding and collapsed one of my lungs..."

Which is what almost killed me, she thought.

"...so that was the cause of most of the concern. My shoulder was also dislocated, and you obviously know about the head wound," she smiled sadly.

Natasha glanced at the side of her head and furrowed her brow, anger flashing in her dark eyes.

"Who could do this to you?"

"Someone who packed a big punch," Carol chuckled dryly.

"And what happened to them?"

"Let's just say he didn't walk away."

Natasha stared at Carol, the anger in her eyes subsiding. They stood in silence for a few seconds and then the redhead suddenly leaned into her, wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist. Natasha gently rested her head against Carol's chest causing her heart to leap in response. She put her arms around the other woman and hugged her close, resting her cheek in the redhead's soft wavy curls. Natasha smelled like a warm summer night.

"They didn't think you would live, did they?" she heard the redhead ask softly.

Carol swallowed.

"No."

She felt Natasha nuzzle into her chest and kissed the top of the other woman's head, a different kind of warmth spreading throughout her body.

"Hey, it's ok. I showed them," she chuckled.

Suddenly they heard voices in the adjoining corridor and Natasha glanced down the hallway, slowly pulling away and assuming the stance of a normal conversation. Carol felt a pang of withdrawal, immediately missing the other woman's warmth. They listened as a group of people passed by the opening to the corridor, lost in their own conversation.

Natasha sighed and stepped closer, her eyes focused on the opening of the corridor. They could hear more voices approaching.

"You know, I don't think I'll have to work late tonight," the redhead said quietly, "how about I give you that tour of the gardens?"

Her eyes shifted to Carol's and she quirked a small smile, "for real this time."

She looked at Natasha for a moment, anticipation suddenly making her heart beat faster.

"I think I'd like that," she said softly, smiling.

"I'll swing by and pick you up at 6," the redhead said quietly, taking Carol's hand in her own and leaning in for a soft lingering kiss. Natasha pulled away slowly, her eyes twinkling in the dim light.

"See you tonight," she said softly, her voice low.

Carol felt her breath hitch a little.

"Can't wait," she replied, suddenly realizing she wasn't going to get any more work done today.

\-----

It wasn't a date, but if it was, it would have been an awesome first date. In the span of an hour they covered a range of topics including work, friends, and their favorite movies and foods. Carol even got Natasha to tell some of her old stories from the early days of the Avengers, which the blonde seemed to enjoy immensely.

Spending time with Carol was easy; the other woman had a knack for telling entertaining stories of her own and her laugh was infectious. Natasha felt a level of comfort with Carol that she only ever experienced with close friends, or people she had known for years. Normally that kind of vulnerability would have made her wary, but the more time she spent with the blonde, the more she realized a lot of her old instincts no longer applied. She was slowly getting used to the fact that the defenses she had meticulously cultivated over the years were completely useless when they were together.

To her chagrin, her self control seemed to be useless as well. Having lunch together in the communal kitchen she was acutely aware of their public surroundings, and yet she had to consciously stop her eyes from roaming over Carol's body. Natasha was enjoying their conversation immensely, but she wasn't thrilled about the table in between them or all the other people in the room. The longer they talked the harder it was for Natasha to concentrate on their conversation. She found herself yearning to be closer to the blonde, to feel the other woman's warmth, and as their lunch came to an end the need became unbearable.

By the time they left the kitchen all she could think about was getting Carol alone. They made their way down the main corridor, walking slowly side by side, while Natasha discreetly scanned their surroundings. Finally she spied it, the small corridor she had noticed on her way to the kitchen earlier. Glancing around quickly she abruptly grabbed the blonde's hand and pulled her around the corner into a relatively dimly-lit hallway. In one swift movement she pressed the other woman against the wall and kissed her.

She usually thought things through better than this, but the overwhelming need to be close to Carol completely overruled her calculating nature. She kissed the other woman hungrily, giving into all the frustration that had been building up over the last hour. Carol reciprocated immediately, wrapping her strong arms tightly around Natasha and pulling her closer.

She could feel the heat radiating from Carol spreading throughout her own body, the sensation making her ache for more contact. She gripped the blonde's waist tightly and slid her leg between Carol's, causing the other woman to groan. Pressing herself closer she could feel shivers of pleasure coursing through her, threatening to make her lose all control. Natasha moved her hands up Carol's torso, feeling the other woman's muscles ripple as they moved together. She clutched the blonde tighter, consumed with desire until Carol suddenly gasped and broke the kiss, her features contorted in pain.

Natasha immediately pulled back as Carol dropped to one knee, clutching her side. Shocked, she crouched down in front of the other woman, worry gripping her heart as she tentatively placed her hand on the blonde's back.

"Oh my God, are... are you alright??" she stammered, trying to contain the panic that had abruptly replaced the passion from moments ago. Carol's eyes were squeezed shut, her breathing coming in short gasps through gritted teeth. After a moment the blonde finally opened her eyes and looked at Natasha, pain still evident in her chestnut eyes.

"It's ok... I'm fine," she said, unconvincingly.

Carol slowly straightened up with Natasha's help and leaned her back against the wall, attempting to smile.

"I just have some ribs that aren't quite done healing yet... apparently ribs take a long time," Carol sighed, rolling her eyes.

Natasha looked down to where the other woman was still clutching her injured side. She instinctively stepped closer and gingerly placed her hand over Carol's, absurdly wishing she had powers to heal them with her touch. She looked up into the blonde's gaze, suddenly feeling guilty.

"I'm so sorry, I forgot you're still healing--"

"I'm fine," the other woman said softly, shaking her head, "don't worry about it."

Carol was finally breathing normally and smiling, obviously trying to put the redhead's fears at ease, but Natasha didn't feel relieved. Carol was the most powerful person she had ever met, and yet someone had managed to reduce her to a wounded heap on the floor. She felt her chest tighten and her heart ache more at the thought.

"What happened?" she finally asked, afraid of the answer but suddenly needing to know.

Carol's smile faded and she looked at Natasha for a moment, finally sighing.

"I got into it with a particularly formidable asshole. During the fight, most of the bones on this side of my torso were shattered."

Natasha tried to control her shock, the words echoing inside her head as she tried to process them.

"What else?" she asked, realizing she needed to hear it all.

"Well, the damage caused a lot of internal bleeding and collapsed one of my lungs... so that was the cause of most of the concern. My shoulder was also dislocated, and you obviously know about the head wound," the blonde smiled sadly.

Natasha glanced at the wound on the side of Carol's head. It was healing nicely but the sight still made her feel sick to her stomach. They hadn't gotten any details about Carol's condition from the doctors, they were only told that her injuries were "severe". The fact that someone could do this to the blonde was terrifying. She suddenly felt a flash of anger.

"Who could do this to you?" she asked, determined that if that someone was still out there they wouldn't be for long.

"Someone who packed a big punch," Carol chuckled dryly.

"And what happened to them?"

"Let's just say he didn't walk away."

Natasha's anger dissipated as fast as it had appeared. She looked at the blonde, deciding she didn't want any more details. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around Carol, suddenly overwhelmed with the need to feel the other woman's warmth. She rested her head against the blonde's chest as Carol hugged her close, the feeling of the other woman's soft breath in her hair making Natasha's spine tingle.

A horrible thought occurred to her.

"They didn't think you would live, did they?" she asked softly.

"No," Carol answered quietly.

The admission made her chest ache more but Natasha reminded herself that the blonde had indeed lived, and almost fully recovered to everyone's astonishment. She nuzzled the other woman's chest, listening to Carol's heartbeat as she closed her eyes, soothed by the sound. She felt a soft kiss on the top of her head in response.

"Hey, it's ok. I showed them," Carol chuckled, echoing her thoughts.

Natasha opened her eyes at the sudden sound of voices in the adjoining corridor and reluctantly pulled away, missing the blonde's warmth immediately. They listened as a group of people passed by the opening to the corridor, lost in their own conversation.

She sighed, why did it feel like they were always being pulled apart? She wanted to go somewhere where no one could interrupt them. Keeping her eyes on the opening of the corridor she stepped closer to Carol, a thought occurring to her.

"You know, I don't think I'll have to work late tonight. How about I give you that tour of the gardens?" she looked at the other woman and quirked a small smile, "for real this time."

Carol looked at her for a moment.

"I think I'd like that," the blonde replied softly, smiling.

Natasha could feel her heartbeat quicken.

"I'll swing by and pick you up at 6," she said quietly, taking Carol's hand. She leaned in and kissed the other woman softly, lingering for a moment before reluctantly pulling away again.

"See you tonight," Natasha breathed, suddenly realizing she had destroyed all hope of being productive for the rest of the day.

"Can't wait," Carol replied, her chestnut eyes twinkling in the dim light.

\-----


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not going to be that easy...

\-----

Natasha sat at her desk, staring numbly at her computer screen, watching as the clock slowly inched it's way to 6:00 pm. Earlier she had been excited, eager to the point of distraction, but now all she felt was disappointment. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, trying to calm her thoughts. Soon she would need to face Carol and tell her the news, and no one was going to like it.

A couple hours ago Natasha had been well on her way to having a completely unproductive afternoon when she suddenly remembered she was supposed to go to a meeting. Steve had mentioned it that morning, but after her lunch with the blonde it had slipped her mind entirely.

She arrived only a few minutes late, and figured she'd stay in the back, but instead of a full room there was only Steve and Clint, patiently waiting for her. That should have been her first clue that something was up. Steve proceeded to fill them in on newly acquired intelligence data, and then started going into specifics for a new mission. It wasn't until he was wrapping up the details that she had realized what was going on.

"Natasha...?"

She had stared at Steve for a long moment, her brain slowly registering what was being asked of her. She saw a look of confusion spread across his face, and realized he was waiting.

In the past there would have been no hesitation, she was always up for a mission no matter the circumstances. But today was different. Today she was borderline giddy, it was rather embarrassing, but she was finally allowing herself to enjoy it. Her whole life had been about duty, and now she was ready for it to be about something more.

She stared at Steve, a million thoughts running through her head, but she finally responded with the only thing she could.

"Of course," she nodded.

Natasha sighed again as the time on her computer screen finally reached 6:00. It was time. She got up and made her way towards the command room, seeing Steve and Clint bent over something on the table. She popped her head in as she passed, getting their attention.

"I'll be right back," she said casually.

"Sure," Steve replied, glancing up for a second before returning his attention to what was laid out on the table.

Natasha left the office area and walked down the main corridor towards the living quarters, the knot in her stomach tightening. It was startling to admit she wanted more in her life, but surprising that she knew exactly what she wanted. Only a couple months ago she would have been incredulous at the idea of being in a relationship. She had given up on the idea of being in a normal romantic relationship long ago, telling herself it wasn't for her. And yet here she was.

Arriving at Carol's door she stopped and gathered herself for a moment before ringing the doorbell. The door opened almost immediately and the blonde's smiling face appeared.

"Hi," Natasha greeted the other woman, her stomach hitting the floor at the look of unbridled excitement on the blonde's face.

The smile faded immediately.

"What's wrong?" Carol asked.

Natasha blinked, slightly taken aback.

"Wow, that obvious, huh?"

Carol's brow furrowed slightly.

"Yeah."

She wasn't sure why, but it was actually kind of endearing the way Carol was starting to be able to read her. Natasha glanced down the hallway.

"Can I come in?"

Carol blinked, as if suddenly realizing Natasha was still standing in the hallway.

"Oh, of course."

The blonde turned around and walked back into her quarters, Natasha following close behind. This time she didn't linger by the door but stepped fully into the room, looking around. She was suddenly immersed in the other woman's world, surrounded by everything that was Carol. Clothes, books, a few mementos, and a blue and red suit unceremoniously draped over a desk chair. Natasha took it all in, breathing in the faint smell of leather and what she could only describe as the smell of summer. The room felt curiously familiar, like she had been here a million times before instead of just once. And the last time she had been too occupied to really appreciate it. She turned around slowly, her eyes purposely avoiding the corner with the bed, until she was facing the blonde. Natasha sighed heavily, she felt like she belonged here. And yet she couldn't stay.

"So... it turns out I do have to work late tonight," she paused, "and tomorrow I have to leave."

Carol looked at her for a moment, disappointment and understanding both registering on her face.

"A mission?"

"Yeah."

"Dangerous?" 

"No, it's just a reconnaissance mission."

"How's that not dangerous?" the other woman furrowed her brow.

"It's not if you do it right," Natasha smiled, trying unsuccessfully to lighten the mood.

Carol wasn't amused.

"I'm coming with you."

Natasha shook her head, walking over to the blonde.

"You can't."

"Of course I can--"

"No, this one is just me and Clint," she said as she reached out and took Carol's hand, "you need to stay here, we're probably going to need you later."

"Why?" Carol asked, her curiosity obviously piqued.

"Because if we find what I think we're going to find we're going to need our Big Gun."

Carol raised an eyebrow.

"Steve's words, not mine," Natasha replied, rolling her eyes.

The blonde nodded imperceptibly.

"So why not let me join you now?"

She hesitated. Carol wasn't going to like this next part. She stepped closer, looking into the other woman's inquiring gaze.

"Because you need to heal."

Carol's eyes hardened immediately.

"I've healed enough--"

"No," Natasha shook her head slowly. She reached up, running the back of her fingers gently down the blonde's cheek. The image of the other woman doubled over in pain just a few hours earlier was still etched in her brain. "No, you haven't," she said softly.

Carol looked at her for a long moment, as if trying to decide whether to argue or accept the facts.

"It's just a reconnaissance mission," Natasha explained, trying to alleviate the uncertainty written all over the blonde's face. "We just need someone who's good at sneaking around to find out what's going on."

"And it has to be you?" Carol asked softly, her eyes searching Natasha's.

"Yes, it does... just like the last mission had to be you."

Carol opened her mouth as if to say something but Natasha pulled back, letting go of the other woman's hand to walk away a few paces. With her back to the blonde she contemplated the wall, feeling her emotions coming to the surface. She hadn't come here to do this, and her first instinct was to fight it, to conceal anything that tried to get out. Natasha had learned long ago how to keep her feelings hidden, especially how to bury the ones that made her vulnerable. But now, with Carol, she found the task more challenging than ever, and with a deep sigh she finally realized she no longer wanted to keep it in.

"You know... the day you volunteered... was the day I realized I was being a coward." She swallowed, letting the words come. "I let my fear control me, and the moment you left I knew I had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life." She chuckled softly, "and I've made a few."

Summoning her courage she turned around to face Carol. The other woman was rapt, her face a convoluted mixture of emotions.

Natasha took a few steps towards her.

"I let you leave without a word, and I'm sorry for that."

Carol shook her head slowly.

"Natasha, you don't need to apologize."

"Maybe not, but I'm not going to make the same mistake twice."

She walked up to the blonde, holding the other woman's gaze. Carol's eyes were softly glowing, and Natasha felt emboldened at the sight.

"The moment you walked into my life everything changed," she said softly, "and I wasn't ready before, but now I am. I have to leave, I have to do this, but I'm going to come back and when I do, this..." she took Carol's hands in her own and leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together, "this will be the only thing that matters."

She felt Carol's strong hands squeeze her own as the blonde nuzzled her forehead, the other woman's silence speaking volumes. Natasha felt completely exposed but free at the same time, like a weight that she had been carrying for far too long had finally been lifted. They stood in a comfortable silence for a bit, savoring the moment until Carol pulled away, her eyes glistening and a small smile on her lips.

"So, it's not a dangerous mission, huh?"

Natasha returned the smile.

"Believe it or not, I used to be a pretty good spy."

"I have no doubt," Carol chuckled. She brought her hand up, stroking Natasha's cheek as she sighed, "I still don't like it... but I'll be ready when you need me."

Natasha felt a familiar warmth blossom and spread throughout her chest.

"I have no doubt," she whispered, and then she took the other woman's face in her hands and kissed her.

The kiss was soft and tender at first. She felt Carol's arms wrap around her waist and pull her closer. As the warmth in her chest started to spread through the rest of her body, she kissed the blonde harder, sliding her arms around Carol's neck. She could feel the other woman's warm body pressed against her own and knew that if she didn't leave now, she wouldn't be able to. As their breathing grew heavier she broke the kiss, pressing their foreheads together again.

"I have to go," she breathed, as she felt her chest start to ache.

Carol slowly pulled back, nodding.

"I know," she said quietly.

Natasha gazed at her, seeing a storm of emotion in the other woman's golden chestnut eyes. She could tell the blonde was overwhelmed, and the thought of leaving her in such a state panged her. Every part of her wanted to stay with Carol, to forget about her duty and give in to what she knew she desired in her heart. Something she only now was realizing, even though it had been there all along.

But there would be time for that later.

"I'll see you tomorrow before I leave," she promised.

Carol gazed at her, her eyes seeming to mirror Natasha's thoughts.

"Ok."

And with that Natasha let go, leaving Carol with one last look before she left, heading back to the command center to make final preparations.

\-----

Carol couldn't remember the last time she had felt this excited. After lunch with Natasha her day had slowed to a painful crawl. After work she had returned to her quarters and freshened up, feeling like a young girl getting ready for her first real date. She was surprised by her behavior, realizing she almost felt giddy, but she let herself enjoy it.

A little after 6:00 pm her doorbell rang. Carol took a deep breath, trying to calm the butterflies that were doing cartwheels in her stomach before she opened the door.

One look at Natasha's face made them stop.

"Hi," the redhead greeted her.

It was just one word but Carol instantly heard the disappointment and trepidation in the other woman's voice.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her heart starting to sink a little.

Natasha blinked at her, obviously taken aback.

"Wow, that obvious, huh?"

Part of Carol actually felt elated to know she was learning to read the redhead.

"Yeah," she responded, also sad that she was right.

"Can I come in?" Natasha asked, glancing down the hallway.

"Oh, of course," she replied, realizing they probably shouldn't have a conversation like this in public.

Carol turned around and walked back into her quarters, with Natasha following close behind. She turned to face the other woman but the redhead was busy, her eyes roaming over everything in sight. Suddenly feeling a little self conscious Carol looked around as well, quickly scanning the room for anything embarrassing. She had tidied up in preparation for Natasha's visit, but she hadn't been expecting the other woman to give the room so much scrutiny.

Natasha turned to looked at her with what almost looked like contentment in her eyes before sighing heavily.

"So... it turns out I do have to work late tonight," the other woman paused briefly, and Carol knew she wouldn't like what was going to come next. "And tomorrow I have to leave."

She looked at Natasha for a moment, not altogether surprised but disappointed all the same.

"A mission?"

"Yeah."

"Dangerous?" 

"No, it's just a reconnaissance mission."

Carol furrowed her brow.

"How's that not dangerous?"

"It's not if you do it right," Natasha smiled, almost playfully.

Carol wasn't in the mood.

"I'm coming with you," she announced. She didn't even have to think twice. If Natasha was going somewhere even remotely dangerous, she was going to be right there by her side.

Natasha shook her head, coming closer.

"You can't."

"Of course I can--"

"No, this one is just me and Clint," the redhead cut her off, reaching out to take her hand. "You need to stay here, we're probably going to need you later."

That got her attention.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because if we find what I think we're going to find we're going to need our Big Gun."

Carol raised an eyebrow. It didn't sound like something the other woman would say.

Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Steve's words, not mine."

That explained it.

"So why not let me join you now?"

She could see Natasha hesitate and knew she wasn't going to like this answer either.

"Because you need to heal," the redhead said gently, stepping closer.

Carol felt herself bristle.

"I've healed enough--"

"No," Natasha shook her head slowly. The other woman reached up and tenderly ran her fingers down Carol's cheek, the sensation making her skin tingle and her chest ache a little. "No, you haven't," the redhead said softly.

Seeing the concern in Natasha's eyes made her anger subside immediately. As much as it pained her to admit it she couldn't deny that only hours earlier the extent of her still-healing injuries had been made painfully obvious.

"It's just a reconnaissance mission," the other woman was saying, "we just need someone who's good at sneaking around to find out what's going on."

"And it has to be you?" Carol asked softly, already knowing the answer but hoping for another.

"Yes, it does... just like the last mission had to be you."

Carol was about to point out how that situation had been different when Natasha suddenly pulled back and let go of her hand, taking a few steps away. Puzzled she watched as the redhead turned her back and stared at the wall, seeming to wrestle with something. Carol remained quiet, patiently waiting to see what the other woman had to say.

Natasha sighed.

"You know... the day you volunteered... was the day I realized I was being a coward. I let my fear control me, and the moment you left I knew I had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life," the redhead chuckled softly, "and I've made a few."

Shocked, Carol could only stare at the other woman's back as she let the words wash over her. They were so unexpected and so genuine, she found herself completely caught off guard.

She thought back to that night in the gardens, when Natasha had told her she wasn't interested in anything but friendship. At the time she had been crushed and confused by the redhead's sudden change of heart, but later she had convinced herself that maybe Natasha had never wanted more. That maybe she had read the signs wrong. Carol could never have guessed the truth behind the other woman's actions, and the fact that Natasha had regretted it so terribly absolutely floored her. 

Carol watched entranced as the other woman turned around, Natasha's face vividly showing the emotion that was fueling her words.

The redhead took a few steps closer.

"I let you leave without a word, and I'm sorry for that."

Hearing the word "sorry" come out of the other woman's mouth made Carol immediately shake her head.

"Natasha, you don't need to apologize."

"Maybe not, but I'm not going to make the same mistake twice," the other woman said, walking up to her.

Carol felt rooted to the spot, hardly believing what was happening.

"The moment you walked into my life everything changed," Natasha said softly, her beautiful emerald eyes shining, "and I wasn't ready before, but now I am. I have to leave, I have to do this, but I'm going to come back and when I do, this..." she took Carol's hands in her own and gently pressed their foreheads together, "this will be the only thing that matters."

Carol felt a familiar warmth surge through her as her heartbeat started to thunder in her ears. Overwhelmed she squeezed the other woman's hands, not trusting herself to speak. She felt her own emotions rushing to the surface, threatening to pour out of her. She had tried to bury her feelings after being pushed away, a defensive mechanism she had learned long ago when dealing with her family, and was now completely unprepared to deal with them. All she knew for certain was that in her heart she wanted the same thing as Natasha. She nuzzled the other woman's forehead, hoping it was enough for now.

After a few moments she pulled back to look at the redhead, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"So, it's not a dangerous mission, huh?"

Natasha returned the smile.

"Believe it or not, I used to be a pretty good spy."

"I have no doubt," she chuckled, knowing that the Black Widow's reputation was infamous. She raised her hand and softly stroked the redhead's cheek. She had every confidence in the other woman, and she wanted Natasha to feel the same.

"I still don't like it... but I'll be ready when you need me."

Natasha's eyes twinkled.

"I have no doubt," the redhead whispered, bringing her hands up to cradle Carol's face before she kissed her.

Carol returned the soft kiss, wrapping her arms around the other woman to pull her closer. As they kissed she felt a now familiar sensation as the energy within her stirred. It started to smolder as Natasha slid her arms around Carol's neck and kissed her harder, pressing their bodies closer. All she wanted was to scoop the other woman up and give in to the desire that she felt aching in her heart, but as their breathing grew heavier Natasha suddenly broke the kiss, pressing their foreheads together again.

"I have to go," the redhead said breathlessly, her reluctance palatable.

Carol slowly pulled back, nodding.

"I know."

Her head was still reeling but every part of her wanted to beg the redhead not to leave. Tonight she had been expecting a pleasant garden stroll and heated uninterrupted kisses, but instead Natasha had unexpectedly revealed her feelings and intentions. Carol felt completely overwhelmed and knew she needed time to digest everything, but also desperately wanted the other woman to stay.

"I'll see you tomorrow before I leave," the redhead promised, looking at Carol with such adoration it made letting her go even harder.

"Ok," she managed to say.

Natasha let go and walked to the door, giving Carol one last look before she slipped out. She stood in the middle of the room, alone, her heart aching with longing, and something else that she was only now beginning to realize.

\-----


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again...

\-----

Carol glanced up at the clock, seeing that it was approximately two minutes since the last time she had looked. She was working in the lab today, trying to concentrate on her work but failing miserably. Natasha would be leaving in a couple hours, and they would have no communication for days, maybe even weeks.

She had awoken that morning to find a note the redhead had slipped under her door, suggesting a time and meeting spot where they could say goodbye in private. She was eager to see Natasha and grateful that they would get one last moment together, but was dreading the inevitable goodbye.

Later in the morning Steve had called an Alpha Team meeting to go over all the details for the new mission. Every new detail she learned seemed to make her feel worse. The team knew that the file she had retrieved during the last mission contained detailed plans for the construction of a massive weapon. Apparently after the file had been successfully recovered, everyone had considered the matter to be closed, assuming that the information in the file had been contained. Based on new intelligence data, it was now suspected that was not the case.

In the last week or so, they had heard rumors that something massive was under construction at a facility on a nearby planet. The official story was that a new research lab was being built on the premises, but there was too much information that wasn't adding up, and their contacts in the area were worried. The region surrounding the facility was also experiencing civil upheaval and the political situation was such that they couldn't just storm in and take a look. At least, not until they had hard proof that such a weapon was being assembled.

That's where Natasha and Clint came in. Their mission was to conduct surveillance and find out exactly what was going on at the facility. Once they had proof, Alpha Team could come in shut the facility down, by force if necessary. It was at that point that Steve had looked at her, causing the knot in her stomach to clench. Everyone seemed pretty calm and she knew she shouldn't be worried, it sounded simple enough. Unfortunately her gut didn't agree.

After the meeting she had casually walked through the office area, noticing that the redhead wasn't at her desk. They weren't scheduled to meet for another couple hours, but she decided to swing by the gym anyway. Sure enough Natasha was there, getting in some last-minute sparring. Carol had stood in the hallway, watching transfixed through a window as the other woman wiped the floor with two men twice her size. Natasha's movements were smooth and expertly executed, her attacks quick and precise. She almost made it look effortless. The redhead had obviously gone easy on Carol.

After one particularly spectacular beat down, Natasha had taken a quick water break, waiting for the two men to recover. As if sensing something, the redhead had glanced at the window, her emerald eyes lighting up the moment she saw Carol. Seeing Natasha all riled up and dressed in her flattering workout clothes, Carol couldn't help but wink, earning her an adorable smirk in return. The playful exchange was soon interrupted as the water break came to an end, and she reluctantly moved on to the lab.

Since then she had been relentlessly staring at the clock, not sure if she wanted it to speed up or slow down. Her emotions had been in flux ever since their meeting last night, and there had been no time for her to process everything fully. She didn't know exactly how to say it, but Carol wanted to make sure Natasha knew she was committed to whatever it was that was growing between them. And she had one last chance to do that before the redhead left.

Just at that moment Steve walked into the lab, looking around briefly before spotting her. He came over, looking slightly flustered, and handed her a pad. Glancing at it she furrowed her brow, giving him a questioning look.

He cleared his throat.

"I need you to give this to Natasha," he said.

"Why?"

"Because she needs to leave earlier than expected and I want to make sure she gets this information before she leaves," he answered, looking at her pointedly. "She's in Hanger 2."

Carol looked at him for a moment, trying to decide if she should act surprised. Obviously knowledge of her relationship with the redhead was no longer limited to three people. Then it actually hit her, Natasha was leaving. Now.

"Well in that case I'd better get going," she said quickly, turning to leave. She stopped abruptly and looked at him.

"Thanks, Steve."

He smiled softly.

"No problem."

She hurried to the hanger, suddenly feeling a little panicked. She hadn't quite decided what to say to Natasha, and it was slowly dawning on her that this goodbye was most likely not going to be private. 

Walking through the doors of the hanger she scanned the interior, her eyes immediately finding the redhead off to one side. The other woman was standing next to a small ship, looking anxious as she glanced at the door. As soon as her eyes landed on Carol, Natasha instantly looked relieved, but then wiped the look off her face when Clint came walking off the ship. Walking briskly over to the pair, Carol hoped her own relief wasn't too obvious.

"Hey, what's up?" Clint asked as she approached.

"Hi, Steve asked me to deliver this," she replied, holding out the pad.

Clint reached for it first, scanning the screen.

"Great, thanks," he smiled, and then walked away a few paces, reading to himself.

Carol turned to look at Natasha, the air between them suddenly thick with tension. The redhead was wearing her tight black leather suit, which at any other time would have made her grin. They looked at each other in silence for a moment, chestnut and emerald gazes locked in an intangible embrace.

Finally Carol spoke.

"So... why did your departure time get moved up?"

Natasha sighed.

"Apparently the local weather fucked up our arrival window, we have to leave now so we can land on the planet undetected."

Carol nodded absently as the other woman furrowed her brow, "Steve sent you?"

"Yeah, pretty sure I know why," she replied, quirking a small smile.

Natasha looked at her, realization slowly washing over her features.

Carol could feel the time ticking away and couldn't help but feel cheated, knowing they weren't going to get the chance for a proper goodbye. This moment was all they were going to get. She gazed at Natasha, seeing the longing and disappointment she felt reflected in the redhead's turbulent eyes. Carol's own emotions were running rampant just below the surface, threatening to overwhelm her.

"Be safe," she told the redhead quietly, willing her voice not to waver.

"Carol..." Natasha started to say, and then stopped, hesitating. The other woman seemed to be struggling with something, looking so uncomfortable that Carol had to resist the urge to reach out and comfort her somehow.

She smiled softly at the redhead.

"It's ok... you can tell me when you get back."

Natasha nodded, but couldn't hide the conflict in her eyes. Glancing over at Clint, Carol could feel the conflict inside of her as well. She wanted nothing more than to grab the redhead and kiss her, and didn't give a damn who saw. But Natasha had asked for discretion, and she had to honor that, even if doing so made her heart ache worse than ever. 

She attempted to steel herself, knowing it was time to go.

"I'll see you soon," Carol said, her gaze lingering for a moment before she reluctantly turned away. She started to walk towards the door, knowing she had to leave before anything else came out of her mouth.

Suddenly she felt the other woman grab her hand and tug her backwards, abruptly bringing them face to face. Stunned, Carol had no time to react before Natasha cupped her face, her emerald eyes shining, and kissed her.

It was so unexpected Carol was too shocked to respond at first, but quickly came to her senses as Natasha pulled her closer. She wrapped her arms around the redhead, deepening the kiss, feeling her emotions flare and her heart soar. Something between them felt different, something she couldn't quite articulate. She held the other woman tightly, lost in the moment, their surroundings momentarily forgotten.

A loud clatter brought her abruptly back to reality. Carol smiled into the kiss, realizing it was the sound of a pad hitting the floor nearby. She pulled away, seeing a smile on the redhead's lips as they listened to the sound of Clint's receding footsteps.

"I'm pretty sure he saw that," Carol whispered.

Natasha shrugged.

"I don't care."

Carol grinned, feeling her heart swell. Her whole body was tingling with residual electricity, still in mild shock over the redhead's unexpected actions. She wasn't sure if the move had been impulsive or planned, but it didn't really matter. Natasha had laid all her cards on the table, for everyone to see. And Carol was mildly curious just how many people had seen.

Her elation started to ebb away as she realized their moment was coming to an end. It was time to go. She reached up to gently stroke Natasha's cheek.

"Goodbye," she said quietly, having no other words.

The other woman placed her hand over the hand on her cheek, holding Carol's gaze.

"I'll see you soon," the redhead replied, a promise in her shining eyes.

Carol nodded and pulled her hand away, turning to make her way to the door. Before she left she couldn't resist the urge to look over her shoulder one last time. Natasha was still standing where Carol had left her, silently watching. She paused long enough for one last lingering look and then stepped through the door, telling herself they would see each other again.

\-----

Natasha glanced at the clock, telling herself she was only making it worse. She honestly couldn't say whether she was looking forward to her rendezvous with Carol or dreading it. Or both. Any other time it would be the former, of course, but she wasn't thrilled at the idea of saying goodbye to the blonde for what could be weeks. 

Last night she and Clint had stayed up late preparing for the mission, going over all the last minute details. There was so much to get done but she was determined to spend some time with Carol before she left, even if it was just for a few minutes. She had no intention of repeating their last goodbye; this time it would just be the two of them and she knew just the place to meet. Before going to bed last night she had slipped a note under Carol's door asking the blonde to meet her.

This morning she had awoken tense, which under the circumstances wasn't really a surprise, so she had decided to hit the gym for a bit. Natasha always enjoyed a little sparring before a mission, she found that it helped her prepare both mentally and physically. Today she felt especially frustrated and decided to take it out on two large men.

As usual the exercise worked it's magic, making her feel confident and invigorated. When her sparring partners asked for a break she couldn't help but smile a little to herself. While sipping her water she had suddenly had the urge to glance at the window, and was surprised to see a smiling Carol on the other side. The blonde had winked at her, instantly making Natasha's heart beat faster than it already was. She smirked back, feeling almost flirty while trying not to smile like an idiot. Before it could go any further the break ended and her opponents returned, ready to continue. Part of her had wanted to stop the workout right then and there and pull Carol aside, but she knew there would be time for that later.

Since then Natasha had been watching the clock, trying to figure out what exactly she wanted to say to the blonde before she left. She could tell she had blindsided the other woman the night before. It hadn't been her intention to reveal so much, it was totally against her nature, but in the moment Natasha had been unable to keep her emotions in check. Carol seemed to have that effect on her. Surprisingly she didn't regret it.

She smiled to herself as she picked up a box of supplies and carried it onto the ship, trying not to glance at the clock again. Natasha quickly scanned the interior of the ship, taking a mental inventory and concluding that everything was almost ready to go. She walked back outside and saw Clint enter the hanger, his demeanor instantly telling her something was up.

"Hey," he said, walking over briskly, "Cap says we need to leave now, our landing window's been shortened thanks to the local weather."

She stared at him, stunned, as he bent over and picked up a box of supplies.

"Right now?" she asked, desperately trying to keep the panic out of her voice. Her heart was suddenly racing.

"Yeah, if we don't leave now we risk being detected," he answered over his shoulder, carrying the box onto the ship.

Natasha stared after him as if in a daze, a million thoughts stampeding through her brain. There had to be a way around this, she just had to think of one. She didn't know where the blonde was working today so she would have to call Carol on the intercom, but how would she explain that? Clint walked back out again to grab the last of the supplies, nodding to her.

"Cap's supposed to give us a new flight plan, hopefully it'll get us where we be need to be faster."

Natasha was barely listening to him, her mind racing while she tried not to think about the possibility of not seeing the blonde at all. That was not an option. She felt cheated, and decided she wouldn't stand for it. Making up her mind she was about to call Carol on the intercom when she heard the door open. She turned to look, expecting to see Steve, but instead it was Carol walking briskly towards her. Natasha felt relief wash over her entire body as their eyes met. The whole hanger was dangerously close to seeing Natasha smile ear to ear until Clint walked up to stand beside her.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked the blonde as she approached.

"Hi, Steve asked me to deliver this," Carol replied, holding out a pad.

Clint took it and scanned the screen.

"Great, thanks," he smiled. Natasha assumed it was the updated flight plan and was mildly curious why Carol was the one delivering it.

Clint walked a few paces away as the blonde turned her attention to Natasha, confusion and disappointment shining in her dark chestnut eyes. They stared at each other in silence for a moment, their gaze attempting to do what their bodies couldn't. It took everything Natasha had not to reach out and pull the other woman into a real embrace.

Carol broke the silence first.

"So... why did your departure time get moved up?" she asked.

Natasha sighed.

"Apparently the local weather fucked up our arrival window, we have to leave now so we can land on the planet undetected." She furrowed her brow, "Steve sent you?"

"Yeah, pretty sure I know why," the blonde responded, quirking a small smile. Natasha instantly realized what she meant and groaned inwardly. Tony must have told Steve.

She stared at the other woman, feeling her heart start to ache. This wasn't supposed to happen like this, but it seemed like something was always getting in the way. There was no time for heartfelt goodbyes or private moments. This moment was all they had, and the way Carol was staring at her she knew the other woman was thinking the same thing.

"Be safe," the blonde said quietly.

"Carol..." Natasha started to say, but then hesitated, suddenly unsure how to put what she was feeling into words. It would be so much easier just to show the other woman.

The blonde smiled softly, causing Natasha's heart to flutter just a little.

"It's ok..." Carol said quietly, her warm eyes twinkling, "you can tell me when you get back."

Natasha nodded, suddenly wanting nothing more than to grab the blonde and kiss her, regardless of who might see. She glanced over at Clint, who was still immersed in the pad, and felt like kicking herself. It had been her idea to keep things between them quiet, but that didn't seem as important right now.

"I'll see you soon," Carol said quietly, lingering for a moment before turning to leave.

Before she could stop herself Natasha reached for the other woman, refusing to leave so much left unsaid. She pulled Carol close, surrendering to a desire she had no words for, knowing the moment their lips met she'd made the right decision. The blonde seemed shocked at first but then wrapped her strong arms around Natasha, deepening the kiss. This kiss felt different than all the ones before it. She couldn't say why, but something had changed. Natasha was so lost in the moment she had completely forgotten where they were.

A loud clatter close by instantly reminded her, the sound effectively cutting through the haze in her brain. She felt Carol smile and couldn't help but smile herself, realizing the cause of the interruption. She was definitely going to hear about this later. The blonde pulled away, still smiling as they listened to Clint's footsteps fade away.

"I'm pretty sure he saw that," Carol whispered, a soft glow in her twinkling eyes.

Natasha shrugged, pleasantly surprised at her lack of concern.

"I don't care."

It was the honest truth and it made her feel free.

The other woman grinned and Natasha thought it was the most beautiful thing ever. This was how it was supposed to happen, this was the goodbye they deserved; but now it was time to go and Carol's face showed it. Her grin gone the blonde brought her hand up to stroke Natasha's cheek gently.

"Goodbye," Carol said quietly.

She wanted to lean into the touch but placed her hand over the other woman's instead.

"I'll see you soon," she promised, determined to make it so.

Carol nodded and removed her hand, heading for the door. Natasha silently watched her leave, not caring that a few people in the room were watching her. Right before exiting the blonde looked over her shoulder for one last look. Her gaze lingered for a moment and then she was gone.

Natasha sighed heavily and then finally boarded the ship, sitting down in a chair next to Clint, who was already readying the ship for takeoff. She knew what was coming.

He cleared his throat.

"So... how long's that been going on?" he asked casually, starting up the ship's engines.

"A while," she answered vaguely.

He nodded as the ship moved forward and exited the hanger, heading for the runway. In no time they were in the air, Natasha lost in thought as she watched the compound grow smaller below them.

Clint turned to look at her, she could tell he was smiling.

"I'm glad you finally found it, Nat."

"Found what?" she looked at him, arching an eyebrow.

"Love," he said without hesitation.

She gaped at him, stunned, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of her. She felt all her defense mechanisms coming online, instinctively trying to contain any breach, deny any vulnerability.

"And what makes you think I have?" she asked calmly, trying to maintain her composure while her heart was threatening to beat out of her chest.

Clint laughed, his eyes twinkling.

"Are you kidding me? I've known you a long time, Nat."

"And?" she felt her cheeks growing warm.

"And you're blushing."

"I don't blush," she replied, too quickly.

"Exactly," he grinned.

As he turned his attention back to the flight plan she looked out the window again, Clint's words echoing in her head. All this time she had been searching for the right words, unsure how to express how she felt, and now she finally realized what it was she wanted to say.

\-----


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while... enjoy!

\-----

Natasha groaned, loathing the sight of yet another gray truck pulling up to the loading dock of the building across the street. It was the fourth one tonight, and just like the others before it, nothing even remotely noteworthy happened. So far this surveillance mission was about as exciting as watching paint dry.

She put the binoculars down, shifting her position slightly in an attempt to return some feeling to her cramped legs. Her vantage point was killing her back, and sitting in the same position for hours on end was pure torture. She felt old. And bored. And was beginning to think this mission was a total waste of time.

In the past, a mission like this would have been a simple annoyance, but right now it was proving to be a huge pain in the ass. She couldn't stop feeling like she was supposed to be somewhere else, that she was missing out on something important. Usually when she was on a mission, only her work mattered, and she stayed until the job was done. Not once had she ever missed home, or anything else for that matter.

She had been gone for two weeks, and each day passed slower than the one before it. They sent reports back to the compound every couple days, but couldn't risk audio or video communication. Natasha knew going in there would be no possibility of contact with Carol, but with nothing else to distract her it was starting to drive her a little crazy. She felt an emptiness inside of her that had never been there before, and she was beyond frustrated. The only thing that actually seemed to help was to let her mind wander, and it always ended up in the same place.

When she stopped to think about it, Natasha realized there was a lot about Carol she didn't know. She knew the blonde was originally from Earth, but didn't know if she still had family there. She knew the other woman's transformation had been the result of an accident that had happened years ago, but didn't know any details. Natasha had seen glimpses of the power that Carol harnessed, an energy that always seemed to be simmering just below the surface. Whether it was a soft glow in the other woman's eyes, or a blinding light streaking across the night sky, Natasha couldn't deny she found it exhilarating. She had so many questions and was curious to learn more.

What she knew for sure was how the blonde made her feel. The way the other woman's warm chestnut gaze made her heart flutter and her skin tingle. Carol had disarmed Natasha's defenses the moment they met, much to her dismay. She had tried to keep her distance, deciding the blonde was trouble, but Carol had proved to be adorably persistent. When avoiding the blonde hadn't worked she had pushed the other woman away, and that was when she realized just how much Carol had gotten under her skin. Her regret had morphed into anguish when Captain Marvel left for her mission, and it took her almost dying to finally wake Natasha up.

Even then she had required a little push from her friends. She had finally put two and two together, realizing that Steve and Tony sending her to Carol's quarters the day she returned had been intentional. Obviously they had seen what she had been so desperately trying to deny.

Letting go of her fear and doubt had finally given Natasha the courage to listen to her heart, something she had been ignoring for a long time. Realizing she had fallen in love with Carol had been both shocking and then embarrassingly obvious. In truth she had probably loved the blonde for a while. She wasn't sure how Carol felt, but Natasha felt like a piece of her was missing, a piece she didn't know she needed but now desperately wanted back. It was time to go home.

She sighed, looking at her watch.

"I'm thinking we should call it a night," she spoke into a small microphone on her wrist.

"Yeah I agree," Clint answered, his voice sounding tinny in her ear.

Giving the building across the street one last withering look, she packed up and made her way back to their home base, a dingy apartment located on the outskirts of town. It was the perfect location since the building they were surveiling was located near the outskirts of town.

Returning to the apartment Natasha dumped her gear on a chair as she headed into the kitchen area. She grabbed a bottle of water and sat down at the table, looking out the small window. The building was old and run-down and their small apartment felt grimy and suffocating. It wasn't the first time a mission had taken Natasha somewhere seedy, that was a common occurrence. But it was the first time she found herself wondering what it would be like to come home to a place that made her feel comfortable and content. And what it would be like to come home to someone.

Clint walked in and grabbed a beer from the fridge before coming over to sit next to her.

"Well, that was another exciting night."

"Riveting," she answered, taking another sip of water.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while as Natasha continued to stare out the window, lost in thought.

"You miss her," he said after a moment, the remark a statement, not a question.

They hadn't talked about Carol since the flight here, and Natasha had been grateful for that. Sometimes she hated the fact that he could read her so well, especially when it was something she was still figuring out. But now that she had, she actually found herself wanting to talk. He was the closest thing she had to a best friend after all.

"Does it get easier?" she asked, not looking at him.

He sighed.

"Not really, but you learn how to cope."

"I have plenty experience with coping."

"This is a different kind of coping," he said gently.

Natasha chuckled dryly, she was beginning to see that. She turned to look at him.

"When did you know... there was something special about Laura?"

He smiled.

"The moment we met."

Natasha smirked, realizing she had interpreted her initial reaction to the blonde as trouble.

Clint was watching her, a soft look in his eyes.

"You deserve to be happy," he said earnestly.

She raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know about that..."

"You do."

Natasha looked at him, genuinely touched. Finally having someone to talk to about all of this felt good. She debated whether she should voice her one remaining concern, something that had been lurking in the back of her mind. She decided it couldn't hurt.

"What if I fuck it up? I don't really have a lot of experience with this sort of thing."

He thought for a moment.

"You just... gotta have a little faith."

Natasha stared at him intensely, her brow furrowing.

"Are you serious? That's your advice?"

He shrugged.

"Yeah, otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy."

Natasha rolled her eyes, turning to look out the window again. She shook her head, throwing him an incredulous look over her shoulder.

He chuckled quietly and got up, returning to the room they were calling the office.

"Faith..." she said quietly, taking another swig of water.

She got up from the table, deciding it was probably a good idea to get to bed. Another thrilling day of pointless surveillance awaited them tomorrow. As she started to make her way to the bathroom she heard Clint's voice from the other room.

"Natasha."

Instantly knowing something was wrong she quickly made her way to the other room, knowing by the tone of his voice that whatever it was, it wasn't good.

"What the hell is that?" she asked, looking at the readout on the computer screen.

"A force field was just erected around the building," Clint answered, his voice tense.

"Shit," she muttered.

They continued to monitor the readings throughout the night, communicating their observations back home. The best working theory was that something important enough to require a force field was obviously inside the building. And whatever it was had apparently been assembled right under their noses. The last bit irked Natasha to no end. She was just itching to get inside and have a look. These bastards were clever, but she knew given the chance, she could get what they had come for.

Later that day their new orders came in: sit tight and keep watch. Natasha couldn't believe it. Steve wanted to attempt to obtain the local government's cooperation before making a move. She was pretty sure by the time that happened it would be too late. They had to do something, now.

"We can't just sit on our asses out here, we need to see what's going on inside."

"That's precisely what we've been ordered not to do," Clint argued.

"Right. We're supposed to just sit here and keep watch, which is what we've been doing for the last two weeks. How did that work out for us?"

He stared at her. She could tell he agreed, but was hesitant to go against orders.

Natasha crossed her arms, levelling her gaze.

"You know I'm right."

"Let's just say I'm considering what you're proposing," he said, putting a strong emphasis on "considering".

She stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

"What's your plan?" he asked.

"Easy. I slip in tonight, find what we need, and get out. Once we expose these bastards the local government won't have any choice but to let us do our jobs."

He eyed her, weighing his options.

"You're not going in alone."

"You're right, you'll be right here," she told him, tapping her ear.

"What if we can't get a signal through the force field?"

She shrugged.

"We'll figure it out, we've done it before."

"Ok, what's your plan for getting inside?"

She smirked at him and raised an eyebrow.

He sighed.

"Right. Ok, but we make this quick. In and out."

A few hours later, Natasha slipped past the building's security, completely unnoticed. She smiled to herself, this was more like it, this was what she was here for. She made her way though the facility undetected, exploring until she found a room that had what she was looking for. She sat down at a computer console and within minutes she had penetrated the firewall and gained access to the information they needed. Browsing through the file she felt a knot forming in her stomach.

"I've got it," she spoke into her wrist, "it's not good."

"What does that mean?" Clint responded.

"It looks like--"

Suddenly she heard the door behind her open with a loud slam as several figures in black started to pour into the room. Natasha immediately slipped into the shadows, positioning herself so she could observe the intruders as they entered. Her mind was racing, mentally retracing her steps in an effort to discern what had gone wrong. She watched as a small man entered the room, his face hidden by the dim lighting.

"I know you're in here darling, please come out and say hi."

Natasha froze, stunned. The voice was unmistakable.

"I assure you there's no way out of here. I brought more than 50 armed guards with me this time. Can we be civil?"

Natasha could hear her heart pounding in her ears as she glanced around, assessing the situation. She spotted numerous armed guards positioned throughout the room, and several that were actively searching for her. What the hell was happening? Had she tripped an alarm of some sort? She was better than that. She heard Clint in her ear frantically asking her what was going on.

"Do you remember Kabul?" she whispered.

"Kabul?" he responded, sounding worried and confused simultaneously.

"He's here."

"What?"

"I gotta go."

Suddenly seeing an opening she lunged for the door, taking out four guards on her way. Natasha sprinted down the hallway, hearing the sound of gunfire echoing off the walls behind her. Trying to ascertain her whereabouts, she rounded a corner at full speed and ran headfirst into another group of guards. She managed to take down a few of them before more reinforcements came up behind her, and Natasha realized she was trapped. Something had gone terribly wrong.

Hearing footsteps, she turned and watched as the small man made his way through the wall of guards, approaching her with a smile on his face.

"What was I thinking?" he almost purred, "black widows are never civil."

\-----

Carol ducked and rolled, narrowly missing a well-thrown punch. Shifting her weight she popped up on the other side of her opponent, catching him off balance. In one quick movement, she grabbed him by his shoulders and flung him across the room where he skidded to a stop just shy of the opposite wall. Tony staggered to his feet, giving her an angry look.

"Hey, no powers! Don't make me put on the suit!" he exclaimed, rubbing his back.

"Did you see a light show? It's not my fault you didn't see that coming," she smirked, holding up her hands.

Tony cocked his head and put his hands on his hips.

"In any case I'm done, I think it's safe to say you've fully recovered," he said, walking towards her.

Carol grabbed a towel and handed it to him, giving him a sheepish look as they exited the gym.

"How's your back?"

"Oh you know, nothing a good scotch can't fix," he smirked.

She smiled, thinking she could use one as well.

"So..." he ventured, eyeing her, "how's the flying coming along?"

Carol's smile faded.

"I haven't tried yet."

"You gotta get back in the saddle," he said, nudging her arm.

"I know," she sighed, nodding. "Thanks for helping me out Tony, I really appreciate it."

He chuckled, turning to leave.

"You mean for being your human crash dummy? Sure, no problem," he said, giving her a wave over his shoulder.

Carol watched him leave and then headed in the opposite direction, towards her own quarters. Tony was right, she needed to get back in the air. It had been too long already.

Since the day Natasha left, she had been focusing exclusively on her physical training and recovery. In the last two weeks her head wound had healed completely and she no longer had any pain in her shoulder. Her ribs were still a little sore, but much improved since the day she collapsed in the hallway. Her endurance and strength had returned fully, and the energy she felt coursing through her was eager to be unleashed. All that was left was a test flight.

In truth, it felt like it had been longer than two weeks. She tried not to fixate on Natasha's absence by keeping herself busy. It worked during the day, for the most part, but her nights were a different story. In the quiet of her quarters, Carol couldn't deny the emptiness she felt. After being alone for most of her life it was strange to suddenly feel lonely. Most nights she would inevitably stay up late letting her mind wander, and it always ended up in the same place. 

She couldn't stop thinking about their last night together. It had only been a brief conversation, but it had shook her to the core. Just the memory of Natasha's words and her soft touch was enough to warm Carol's insides and make her skin tingle. Something had changed that night, and now that she had plenty of time to think about it, she was pretty sure what it was.

Carol considered herself to be a pretty open person. She was very free with her emotions and rarely kept them in, preferring instead to get everything out on the table. In the past she had been chided for letting her emotions get the better of her, but since then Carol had learned more self control. Usually she knew exactly what emotion she was feeling and felt comfortable expressing it. But recent events had made her realize what little experience she had with certain emotions. Specifically, love.

Her family life had always been rough. Growing up with an emotionally abusive father and a withdrawn mother, her childhood home had never been a warm or caring place for her. The first time she had ever truly felt something like love had been later in life with her chosen family, but unfortunately it didn't last. Since then she had been content to travel the galaxies and commit herself to a higher purpose, never really considering what she wanted in life.

As Captain Marvel she had visited countless worlds and encountered all types of living entities, but never stayed anywhere long enough to form any meaningful connections. She met plenty of friendly people, and enjoyed their company, but no relationship ever lasted. When her work was finished, she moved on to the next group of people and never looked back. She found her work and her purpose satisfying, and that was all she thought she needed. Until she decided to return to Earth.

Carol had returned to her home planet because it needed her, not because she needed it. But as soon as she arrived it felt different than any other world she had stepped foot on. It felt like home, and to her astonishment she found herself wanting to stay. For once she didn't feel like an outsider, and that was an unexpectedly wonderful feeling. Even so, Carol told herself it wasn't permanent. Distant worlds still needed her, and as much as she liked being back on Earth, she really didn't have a reason to stay. And then she met Natasha Romanov.

She was obviously captivated by the redhead the moment they met, and couldn't help but pursue the other woman. There had been a few bumps in the road, but ultimately they had gotten it together. Unlike all her previous flirtations, however, this one had eventually turned into something more. It seemed ridiculous to her now, but Carol had been completely unaware she had fallen in love. It had taken her a while to recognize it, but as unfamiliar as the territory seemed, it also felt surprisingly natural. She wasn't sure the redhead felt the same, but she was willing to stick around to find out. And if Natasha did, then Carol would have to decide whether to return to the cosmos and continue her self-imposed mission, or follow her heart.

The next morning she received a message from Steve summoning her to the command center. The room was crowded and bustling with activity, analyzing a message Clint and Natasha had sent late the night before. A force field had apparently been erected around the building they were surveilling, and now they had to decide their next move. The team debated for hours, some people wanted to shut down the facility immediately while others were unconvinced it meant anything significant.

Carol listened to all the opinions, every nerve ending attuned. It didn't escape her that Natasha was suddenly somewhere very dangerous. Her energy felt like a coiled snake, just itching to be released. She didn't care about the politics, all that mattered was keeping people safe, especially their own. Ultimately it was decided to wait and go through the proper channels in an attempt to get the local government's cooperation. A message was sent to Clint and Natasha, ordering them to sit tight and keep watch for the time being.

That night Carol felt incredibly antsy. She was so tense, not even a visit to the gym could work out the knots in her shoulders, not to mention her stomach. She decided to take a walk outside in the cool night air, hoping it would help calm her nerves. She couldn't explain why, but she suddenly had a very bad feeling.

The whole point of Natasha's mission was to obtain proof that the facility was housing a massive weapon. The force field wasn't the definitive proof they needed, but apparently Steve thought it would be enough to convince the local government to grant them entry. Carol thought by the time that happened, it might be too late. And she was pretty sure Natasha would feel the same way.

The redhead had insisted her mission wouldn't be dangerous, but Carol knew that wasn't a promise the other woman could keep. Natasha wasn't one to leave a mission unfinished, and as of right now they still didn't have the proof they desperately needed. Carol knew it would only be a matter of time before the redhead decided to take matters into her own hands. Standing on the lawn outside of the compound Carol looked up into the night sky, wishing she could be there to help. She had every confidence in the other woman, but couldn't shake the bad feeling in her gut.

A few hours later she found out why.

It was 3:00 am when Steve knocked on her door. Carol was awake, of course, having given up on sleep hours ago. She answered the door, her heart constricting the moment she saw his face.

"Hi, sorry, I know it's late--"

"Come in," she said quietly, moving aside to let him enter.

He slid past her, taking a few steps into the room before turning to face her. She could see the tension and weariness in his sympathetic blue eyes.

"Natasha's missing..." he said quietly, "we think she's been captured."

Carol stared at him, the knot in her stomach clenching as his words seeped into her brain. She suddenly felt very cold, like all the warmth was rapidly leaving her body. She continued to stare at him, the silence filling the room deafening.

"How the hell did that happen?" she heard herself say.

He sighed.

"She decided to run her own operation."

"No, I meant how did she get caught?"

He eyed her, hesitating.

"We're not exactly sure, but apparently she ran into someone she knows."

She furrowed her brow.

"Who?"

"Someone from her past. Clint thinks it's a target she was ordered to neutralize years ago, in Kabul. Natasha shut down whatever operation he had going, but he escaped."

Carol couldn't believe it, what were the chances of Natasha running into someone she knew on that dingy planet?

"So, what's our move?" she asked him, already knowing the answer. She knew Steve was in a bind. He couldn't reveal to the local government that he had secretly sent people to spy on them.

"We aren't going to be granted entry any time soon. They don't believe a weapon of mass destruction is being assembled right under their noses."

"What about the force field?"

"They didn't even realize it was there until we told them. They said they would look into it, but didn't think it was a high priority."

A dead end. Carol clenched her jaw, feeling the frustration building inside of her. Natasha was in trouble and they were stuck here dealing with idiots.

"Did you explain what could happen if they're wrong? The devastation a weapon like that could inflict?" she asked, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice.

He nodded.

"They didn't believe me, we have no proof. The government doesn't understand why their city would be a target for such an attack."

Maybe it was Carol's military experience but the answer seemed obvious to her.

"Because they're being used as a testing ground!" she exclaimed, hearing the frustration in her voice.

He stared at her, a pained expression marring his handsome features.

"I know."

Feeling her anger coming to the surface she turned and walked away a few paces, trying to compose herself. The energy coursing though her was smoldering, and not in a good way. She turned to face Steve, having already made her decision.

"So are you sending me in, or am I leaving against your orders?"

He shook his head.

"I can't authorize you to go, I don't have the jurisdiction..."

Carol felt her fists start to clench.

"...but I won't try to stop you either," Steve finished, giving her a small smile. She relaxed her fists as he stepped towards her, a glint of determination in his eyes.

"Go. Find Natasha, and shut that God forsaken place down."

\-----


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's here! Sorry it took so long, I actually wrote a much longer chapter but then decided to cut it in half. Anyway, the next update will be much faster. Enjoy! :)

\-----

Natasha was pissed.

It had been quite some time since her last imprisonment, and it was just as miserable as she remembered. She had spent the last few hours strapped to a very uncomfortable chair, locked in a small cell. The black metal bars on the cell door looked almost as thick as the concrete walls, and the chair looked like something that could've been used in an insane asylum. It was covered in multiple built-in restraints, and her captors had made sure to attach a thick black strap to each of her wrists and ankles.

This guy wasn't kidding around.

Not that she could blame him. The last time they had crossed paths she had destroyed his entire operation and taken out most of his operatives. He knew better than most what she was capable of, and apparently she had made an impression.

Natasha sighed, looking through the bars out into the large room beyond. She could see more cells lining the walls, but the room felt more like a laboratory than a jail. Or maybe a command center. In the center of the room was a large circular structure containing multiple computer consoles. The room was bustling with activity as people scurried from console to console, and Natasha had a bad feeling they were preparing for something. Something bad.

Turning her attention to the cells across the way, she saw that each one was filled with a prisoner dressed all in white, looking as miserable as she felt. Some cells contained what looked like medical equipment, while others had chairs just like hers. At first, she was confused why someone building a weapon of mass destruction would have people locked up in a secret lab, but then the realization hit her. The weapon was designed to carry a biological warfare agent. They weren't prisoners, they were some sort of test subjects, and the thought made her skin crawl.

A heavy metal door opened with a loud clang on the other side of the room, and she watched as the small man entered, his eyes immediately settling on her cell. Flanked by two armed guards he walked over slowly, coming to a halt on the other side of the bars.

"This seems a little excessive," she said dryly, indicating her restraints.

"Hello darling, it's been a long time," he replied, his low voice and distinct lisp making the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She had forgotten what a creep he was.

"Not long enough, you misogynistic asshole."

He smiled slowly, a glint in his eyes.

"I'm not the one who showed up on your doorstep," he replied, looking her up and down, "but it seems fate has brought us together once again."

Fate was a bitch sometimes. What the hell were the chances? But as much as it pissed her off, she had to know.

"How did you know it was me?"

He chuckled scornfully.

"The code you wrote to gain access to our systems, you used it in Kabul. I remember it vividly."

"That's kind of creepy."

She had definitely made an impression.

He looked at her for a moment, narrowing his eyes while his jaw clenched subtly.

"You ruined me."

"If it makes you feel any better, I was actually trying to kill you."

"Yes, but you failed," he said quietly. "I should kill you, but I admit I rather like the idea of having an audience."

So, they were preparing for something.

"An audience? For what exactly?"

"I think you know."

"Right, your new toy," she said, cocking her head as she tried to goad him. "Too bad you're not going to get the chance to play with it."

"Darling, you're in no position to stop me. Neither is your archer, wherever he's hiding. And your friends back on Earth, will never get here in time," he replied smoothly, a small smile on his lips.

With that he turned on his heel and walked over to the command center, glancing at the multitude of screens.

"Raise it," he said calmly.

"Yes, sir," a young technician replied.

The technician's fingers flew over the computer keys and Natasha's bad feeling started to intensify. One screen showed an empty courtyard that she assumed was somewhere on the property. Suddenly the ground opened up and a large structure emerged from underneath, ascending slowly towards the night sky. Natasha had to squint but she was pretty sure she saw a gigantic missile attached to the rising structure. A missile that contained a biological weapon that could wipe out an entire city.

Stunned, she stared at the screen as her heart sank. It was indeed too late. Nobody had any idea this thing would be operational so soon. Natasha knew Steve wasn't going to send anyone, and Clint was in no position to help her. She was alone. Unless a certain blonde superhero decided to take matters into her own hands. She knew Carol respected Steve's leadership and, in most cases, wouldn't disobey a direct order. But the woman was also headstrong, and Natasha knew Carol would act if she thought it was the right thing to do.

In the meantime, however, Natasha had to work with what she had. She glanced down at her restraints, knowing what she had to do wasn't going to be easy. Even if she could free herself from the chair, she had no idea how she was going to get out of the cell. Deciding to cross that bridge when she got to it, she slipped a tiny piece of metal out of her wrist guard and went to work.

"System's online and ready for launch, sir," the technician announced.

"Good. Anything on the radar? Did we get anyone's attention?"

"Nothing."

"Then let's proceed. Initiate the startup sequence."

Keeping her eyes on the command center, Natasha sawed as fast as she could, the effort making her fingers cramp and burn. The strap was incredibly thick but finally it gave, releasing her wrist. After ensuring no one had noticed, she went to work on the next one, trying to ignore the hopelessness that was starting to pool in her belly. Natasha knew she didn't have enough time, and soon the entire population of a city would pay for it.

She was frantically thinking of a way to cause a distraction, anything to buy more time, when the technician suddenly called the small man over to look at something on his screen.

"What is that?" he asked the confused technician.

"I don't know, it just appeared, sir. Whatever it is, it's coming in fast," the young man said, sounding a little worried.

"Does it match any specifications--"

The small man was abruptly cut off as a strong jolt shook the building, causing several alarms to go off and the lights to flicker. The atmosphere in the room quickly turned to panic as computer screens went dark and everyone started talking over each other in a mass of confusion.

"It just crashed into the building!" the young technician was shouting, "the outer perimeter has been breached, sir!"

"Silence those alarms! Switch to backup power! What the hell just hit us!?" the small man was yelling, looking around wildly.

Natasha watched the scene unfold, excitement and apprehension flooding through her. She was pretty damn sure she knew exactly what had just happened, and now more than ever she needed to break free. Suddenly the small man whipped around and started to advance menacingly towards her cell, a dark expression on his face. She stopped sawing and smoothly placed her wrist back into the restraint, slipping her mask firmly into place.

"Problem?" she asked innocently as he stormed up to the bars.

"You know what it is, don't you?" he hissed.

She looked at him, relishing the moment as a small bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. He wasn't going to get away this time.

"You're fucked," she smirked.

With a stricken look on his face the small man turned and raced to one of the computer consoles, hitting a button.

"All units respond to the lab, immediately!" he frantically ordered, his voice reverberating throughout the building. "Seal the door!" he yelled, pointing to the massive metal door. It clanged shut with a deep boom.

"Is the startup sequence finished?" he barked at the technician.

"Not quite, sir," the technician answered, his voice shaky.

All heads in the room turned suddenly at the muffled sounds of movement on the other side of the door. The reinforcements were responding quickly, no doubt forming some sort of barricade outside. The small man seemed to take comfort in the sound as he leaned down and started conversing quietly with the technician. Natasha glared at his back as she continued to work at her restraints, redoubling her effort to finally free one of her legs.

Suddenly there were multiple shouts out in the hallway and she jumped involuntarily at the sound of gunfire. The small man turned his attention back to the door, a look of concern returning to his face. As the cacophony on the other side grew louder, he frantically ordered the guards in the room to form a barrier between the door and the command center. The tension in the room started to skyrocket as the guards moved into position with all eyes staring anxiously at the door. Natasha desperately sawed at her last restraint, trying not to worry as she listened to the unmistakable sounds of battle in the hallway. Suddenly the wall shook as if from a strong impact, and all sounds faded abruptly.

Natasha stopped breathing, staring intently at the door, straining her ears for the slightest sound. The formation of guards anxiously held their position, while the small man took cover behind the young technician. The massive door shuddered loudly as the center of it started to glow a deep orange color. As the color changed to a radiant yellow, several guards started to back away, looking at each other uncertainly. The cement wall began to vibrate, crumbling as the metal in the center of the door began to glow white hot. Suddenly the door exploded with a deafening roar, taking a large chunk of the wall with it and filling the room with a blinding white light.

The guards closest to the door dropped to the floor, attempting to shield themselves from the flying debris. As the rubble settled and the light began to dim, Natasha could see a figure, bathed in fiery golden light, standing in the smoldering remains of the doorway.

Carol's arms were poised at her sides, each fist crackling with unbridled energy. Her golden windswept hair danced like fire, and her eyes glowed with a brilliant white light. Natasha stared, along with everyone else in the room, mesmerized by the sight of the other woman at full power. With a look of grim determination on her face, the fiery blonde stepped into the room, heading immediately towards the cells that lined the walls.

The shocked silence that had fallen over the room was suddenly broken as several guards lifted their weapons and started firing. Without even a glance in their direction, Carol lifted one of her glowing fists, emitting a blast of photon energy that sent them sprawling. She continued to advance farther into the room, her burning gaze searching each row of cells. Several more guards charged at her from opposite directions, yelling and raising their weapons. Carol casually crossed her arms in front of her chest and then quickly extended them, firing blasts that sent the guards flying in opposite directions across the room.

Natasha could hear the small man screaming at everyone, ordering them to charge at the glowing woman. The technicians started pulling handguns out of their belts while several of the remaining guards switched their assault rifles to some type of grenade launchers. Natasha started to panic as she frantically cut through the last strap, watching helplessly as everyone in the room converged on the blonde. The last strap finally gave and she ran to the cell door, banging on the bars loudly.

"Carol!!" Natasha yelled at the top of her lungs, desperately hoping to get the other woman's attention.

Carol whipped around, her blinding eyes immediately reverting to a glowing chestnut color the moment they locked with Natasha's. Palatable relief passed between the two women, and there was a millisecond of calm as the blonde slowly brought her hands up, balling them into glowing fists.

"Get down!" Carol yelled.

Natasha immediately dropped to the floor and took cover behind the wall adjacent to her cell door. Unable to resist her curiosity, she peered around the corner through the bars, her eyes fixed on Carol.

The crowd was almost on top of the other woman with a ridiculous number of weapons aimed point blank. Suddenly the energy emanating from the blonde intensified as she slammed her fists together, the action blasting a shock wave of energy outwards in all directions. Natasha quickly ducked back behind the wall, bracing herself as the force of the blast shook the walls of her cell. As fast as it had happened it was over, and the room was suddenly silent.

Coming out from behind her cover, Natasha peered through the bars, looking for the blast's epicenter. Carol stood in the middle of the room, completely aglow with her fists still smoldering. Natasha watched as the other woman quickly glanced around the room, apparently satisfied with her handiwork. The blonde turned and their eyes met, an obvious look of relief spreading across the other woman's features as she quickly strode across the room. Without even pausing Carol grabbed the outside of the bars and ripped the entire door off, flinging it across the room.

"Holy shit," Natasha breathed, just before the blonde pulled her into a tight hug. She eagerly wrapped her arms around the other woman, holding her close. Carol's suit was warm to the touch and Natasha could feel what she assumed was residual energy creating small sparks between them.

"Are you ok?" Carol whispered softly.

"I'm fine," Natasha assured her, closing her eyes for a brief moment to relish the feel of the other woman in her arms.

It felt like it had been forever since she had last had this, and Natasha couldn't quite bring herself to let go. She breathed in Carol's scent, smiling when the blonde's soft hair tickled her nose. They were rocking slightly, holding each other in a comforting silence like they had all the time in the world. Finally, Natasha pulled back and looked into the other woman's warm chestnut gaze, chuckling as something occurred to her.

"So, does this make me the damsel in distress?"

Carol laughed, her eyes twinkling.

"I don't think that's possible."

Natasha grinned at the blonde and brought her hands up, cupping Carol's face as her chest filled with a familiar warmth. Suddenly the other woman's smile faltered as they both heard it. The unmistakable sound of running footsteps. Lots of footsteps. A knowing look passed between them as Natasha sighed, gently stroking Carol's cheek.

"Sounds like we're about to have company."

Carol's jaw tightened as she glanced over at the ruined doorway.

"Doesn't it seem like we're always being interrupted?" the blonde asked, furrowing her brow.

"Every. Time," Natasha agreed.

Giving Carol one last lingering look, she reluctantly let go as they turned to face the coming onslaught side by side. Seconds later a fresh batch of armed guards started to pour into the room, coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of the two women.

She watched as Carol lifted her fists, igniting them with a bright flare of energy.

"Hi boys," the blonde said cheerily, "wanna play?"

Natasha smirked, this was going to be fun.

\-----

Carol soared through the vacuum of space, a streak of light in the vast blackness, willing herself to go faster as the stars flew by at an alarming rate. She was already traveling at an incredible speed, faster than she ever had before, so fast she barely noticed leaving her home system. She rocketed past several planets and their moons, and even through a beautiful nebula, but didn't spare any of it a glance. None of it mattered, it was all a blur. She only had one purpose: to find Natasha before it was too late. From the moment she learned the redhead had been captured, Carol had thought of nothing else.

Natasha was a badass, no one could deny that, and there was a good chance the redhead wouldn't require any rescuing at all. But Carol couldn't help but worry. The other woman had been compromised, and there was always a chance something could go wrong. It was a chance Carol wasn't willing to take.

Before she left, Steve had gone over a few things with her, making sure she was up to speed with all the intelligence they had received. Clint's last report had informed them there was still no weapon in sight, no obvious threat, except for the fact that Natasha had gone missing. They still didn't know exactly how she had been caught, Clint said everything had gone to shit in the blink of an eye, but Carol was sure it had something to do with the man from Natasha's past.

Unfortunately, there was very little information on that subject. They also had no idea what Carol might find once she got inside the building. Aside from the plethora of truck deliveries, there had been very little to observe in the last two weeks. The only solid information she was provided with was the building's exact location, a multitude of exterior photos, and all the data on the force field they had collected. Steve had seemed a little worried about the latter, but Carol wasn't. She had never met a force field she couldn't smash through.

Surprisingly the only thing that had actually concerned her was her mode of transportation. She hadn't flown since her last mission, which had ended with her crash landing on some random planet and nearly bleeding to death. Carol had tried not to dwell on it as she prepared to leave, focusing instead on downloading every last bit of pertinent information into her suit. But when the time came, and she found herself staring into the sunrise, Carol knew she was ready.

Thankfully, it was like riding a bike. She took off into the dawn, soaring higher and higher into the sky, not stopping until she cleared the atmosphere. Only then, floating far above her homeworld, Carol had allowed herself a brief moment to bask in her renewed freedom, and then she had set off on her course.

What had been a two-day flight for Clint and Natasha had taken Carol less than a day. Looking up ahead, her destination finally came into view, a small brown speck in the distance. She barreled towards the dingy planet, decreasing her speed only once she entered atmosphere. Carol easily located the large continent in the western hemisphere, and after referring to the computer in her suit quickly found the city she was looking for. Finally, her target came into view: an unremarkable building with a very remarkable missile towering over it. Carol was so shocked she almost came to a stop as a million questions started buzzing through her head. But then she realized it didn't matter, Natasha was still down there, and was apparently in more danger than anyone would have thought possible.

Clenching her jaw Carol set her sights on the building, swooping down at an incredible speed. The force field was only a minor bump in the road and then she hit the building hard, blasting her way through a thick cement wall. When the debris settled, Carol saw that she was in, what was now the remnants of, a long hallway. She heard the guards before she saw them. They opened fire immediately, their automatic weapons filling the air with smoke. She made her way through the shouting and the gunfire, neutralizing each batch as they came at her. Just as she began to wonder how she was going to find Natasha, she heard a panicked voice over the intercom.

"All units respond to the lab, immediately!"

The lab. So, there was a lab on the premises. Carol looked around for a sign, something that could give her a clue, and then found a very convenient map down the hall. She headed straight to the place where they obviously didn't want her to go, knowing there was a damn good chance Natasha would be there.

Carol blasted her way to the lab through numerous hallways, more annoyed than concerned with the hordes of guards that kept attacking her. She knew she was in the right place when she saw the wall of armed figures standing in front of a hulking metal door. After moving the guards out of her way, she concentrated all her strength on the door, watching as it slowly began to melt and then finally explode. Knowing she was probably about to walk into a firestorm, Carol turned it up a notch as she stalked into the large room.

The first thing she saw were the cells lining the walls. Without hesitation she made her way towards them, unconcerned with the mass of people staring at her. Suddenly the silence in the room was broken as several guards lifted their weapons and started firing. Without breaking her stride, Carol lifted a fist and blasted them out of her way, continuing to advance towards the cells. She scanned each row, searching for a familiar face as more guards came at her. She disposed of them easily, but more kept coming, and soon she realized the entire room was getting ready to converge on her. Growing frustrated, she desperately searched the remaining cells, unwilling to neutralize the room until she found--

"Carol!!"

Natasha's voice rang out over the din, and Carol whipped around, her eyes finally finding what they had been searching for. As they locked gazes, Carol felt relief wash over her, completely ignoring the crowd that was descending upon her. Natasha was alive, that was all that mattered. She raised her fists.

"Get down!!" she yelled at the redhead, who wasted no time in doing so.

Time to party. Carol slammed her fists together, emitting a blast of photon energy that sent everyone sprawling, leveling the room in seconds. Once the energy wave dissipated, she glanced around, looking for any sign of movement. Satisfied all threats had been neutralized, she turned towards Natasha's cell, relieved to see the redhead peering out through the bars. The other woman stood, their eyes locking as Carol quickly strode across the room and ripped the cell door off its hinges.

"Holy shit," she heard the shocked redhead say, just before Carol pulled her in for a tight hug. All her worry and tension immediately dissolved the moment she felt Natasha's arms wrap tightly around her.

"Are you ok?" she whispered softly into auburn hair.

"I'm fine," the other woman assured her, noticeably relaxing in Carol's arms.

She closed her eyes, savoring the moment. After two weeks apart with no communication, and then the subsequent worry that had consumed her after Natasha's capture, Carol couldn't bring herself to let go. The redhead seemed to feel the same, making no move to leave as they swayed slightly, holding each other close. Finally, Natasha pulled back, chuckling as she gazed into Carol's eyes.

"So, does this make me the damsel in distress?" the redhead smirked.

Carol laughed at the absurdity.

"I don't think that's possible."

Natasha grinned and brought her hands up to cup Carol's face, the other woman's eyes twinkling in a way that made her heart flutter. Suddenly the moment was broken as they both heard the unmistakable sound of running footsteps down the hall. Carol held Natasha's gaze as the redhead gently stroked her cheek, a knowing look passing between them.

"Sounds like we're about to have company," the other woman sighed.

Carol glanced over at the ruined doorway.

"Doesn't it seem like we're always being interrupted?" she asked, suddenly feeling frustrated again.

"Every. Time," Natasha agreed.

Carol sighed, fully intending to take out her frustration on the approaching mob. Giving Natasha one last lingering look, she reluctantly let go as they turned to face the coming onslaught side by side. Almost immediately the new wave of heavily armed guards started to pour into the room, coming to a halt at the sight of the two women.

Carol armed herself.

"Hi boys," she said cheerily, lifting her glowing fists, "wanna play?"

\-----


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes we just need a little faith...

\-----

Nobody moved at first.

Carol stood next to Natasha, her fists at the ready, itching for someone to make a move. She saw fear in some of their eyes, but sheer determination in more of them. It wasn't long before someone started yelling, and then a wall of guards was coming straight for them, aiming their automatic weapons to kill. With one swift motion Carol took out the first few rows, sending them crashing into the nearest wall. As she did so, a piece of the group broke off and shifted to the side, attempting to flank the two women. Carol saw Natasha move out of the corner of her eye and smiled to herself as the redhead easily tore through their ranks.

With the other woman back at her side, they fought off the advancing hordes, moving in perfect harmony with each other. Carol took out the ones mounting their attack from the rear, blasting them and their weapons out into the hallway. The guards that rushed them had to deal with Natasha up close and personal, which didn't end well for any of them.

Attempting a new strategy, several guards banded together, arranging themselves in some type of formation. She felt Natasha tap her arm, and with one look knew exactly what the redhead was thinking. She bent down, steadying herself as the other woman placed her foot in Carol's waiting hands. One quick boost later, she watched as the redhead flew over the group of guards, landing gracefully behind them. Sandwiched between the two women, the attackers were quickly disbanded.

Carol smiled as Natasha threw her a wink, turning suddenly when she heard movement behind her. She picked up two large men and launched them across the room, hearing a satisfying thud as they hit the wall. The redhead returned to her side, and Carol realized she was actually having fun. She usually preferred to fight her battles alone, but fighting alongside Natasha made her realize there were definitely perks with the right partner. They were a formidable team.

After making quick work of the next wave of guards, whose numbers finally seemed to be dwindling, Carol felt the redhead leave her side suddenly. She glanced over her shoulder, watching as Natasha sprinted across the room to grab someone who was trying to escape. It was a small unremarkable man, and the way the redhead thew him to the ground instantly told Carol who he was. She ground her teeth, keeping her eyes on him while she blasted two more guards across the room. He was gaping at her, his face a mixture of terror and disgust as he watched her start to walk towards them.

"What the hell is that?!" she heard him scream at Natasha, as he frantically pointed in Carol's direction.

The redhead turned to look at her for a moment, and then looked back down at the man, smiling.

"That? That's my woman," she barely heard the other woman say, the reply taking her completely by surprise. To her chagrin, Carol almost tripped mid-step as her heart started to pound. Had she heard the redhead correctly?

"That's an abomination!!" the man screamed, and she had no trouble hearing him. He suddenly stumbled to his feet and tried to make a run for it, careening towards the ruined doorway. Without a second thought she aimed, clenching her jaw as she blasted him square in the back.

"Asshole," she muttered as she walked up to Natasha.

The redhead was looking at her, a glint in her beautiful emerald eyes, and Carol just couldn't help herself.

"Your woman, huh?" she said, smiling ear to ear.

If it could have, Carol was pretty sure Natasha's jaw would have hit the floor. Instead, the other woman smiled nervously and looked away, obviously flustered.

"I meant... you know... I just wanted to see the look on his face..." the redhead shrugged nonchalantly, attempting to recover herself as her cheeks took on a slight pink hue. Watching with adoration, Carol reached out and took the other woman's hands in her own, her heart pounding as Natasha met her gaze.

"I am," she said softly, and kissed the redhead, knowing without a doubt it was true.

Carol kissed Natasha with everything she wanted to say, everything she had been holding in for the last two weeks. She felt her whole body start to warm as the other woman melted into her, her longing palpable. Carol had to fight the urge to wrap her arms around the redhead, to pull her close and forget everything going on around them. But there would be time for that later.

Natasha slowly pulled back and held her gaze, looking at Carol in a way that made her heart start to flutter. The redhead reached up and caressed her cheek softy, and Carol suddenly wanted nothing more than to tell her. She had never said the words to anyone, at least not romantically, but now they were threatening to spill out of her. Natasha was looking deeply into her eyes, and just as she realized the other woman was about to speak, a loud noise behind them forced both women turn.

The small guy she had just flattened had apparently regained consciousness and was stumbling his way towards the ruined doorway. He looked over his shoulder for an instant with a terrified look on his face, and then took off down the hallway.

"Son of a bitch..." Carol muttered, realizing her aim must have been slightly off. That's what she got for squeezing off a shot while distracted. She turned to leave, fully intending to hunt him down, when she felt Natasha squeeze her hand.

"Wait," the redhead said, "it's ok, don't worry about him."

She turned to look at the other woman, confused.

Natasha took a deep breath as if gathering her thoughts.

"He's harmless, and we've got other things to worry about," the redhead continued, letting go of Carol's hand to make her way over to the command center.

Natasha walked up to one of the consoles, her agile fingers flying over the keys as she concentrated her attention on the screen. Carol walked over to join her, hearing the other woman sigh with what sounded like relief.

"Thank God the bastard didn't have time to arm it," Natasha said quietly.

"So, what do we need to do?" Carol asked.

The redhead looked up at her, a smirk on her face.

"How do you feel about blowing this place to smithereens?"

Carol smiled, liking the idea. But her mission had been to shut the place down, not blow it up.

"Sounds like fun, but why? Hasn't everything been effectively shut down?"

"Yes, but as long as the weapon and the plans to build it still exist, no one is safe."

Natasha had a point. This was their opportunity to get rid of this weapon once and for all.

"Ok, can I just blast it?"

Natasha shook her head.

"Unfortunately, no. If you do that, it might trigger the biological agent on board. We need a controlled explosion, and luckily the missile has a self-destruct sequence just for that purpose. It should safely contain any leaks and hopefully take this whole damn lab with it. I just need to access the right program to activate it," the redhead explained, her fingers flying over the keys once again.

After a couple minutes, Natasha sighed, obviously frustrated.

"Damn, it looks like I can only initiate the self-destruct sequence from the launcher itself," the other woman said furrowing her brow.

"Ok, so where exactly do we need to go?" Carol asked, trying to make sense of the image on the screen. It looked like the missile was attached to a towering metal structure that she assumed was the launcher platform.

"The manual controls are located in that control room," Natasha answered, pointing to the screen at the very top of the launcher. "From there I'll be able to program the countdown sequence to give everyone enough time to get to safety."

It sounded easy enough. Hopefully they wouldn't run into too much resistance, there couldn't be that many guards left.

"Alright, let's go," Carol said, turning to leave.

Natasha suddenly reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her back.

"I need you to stay here," the other woman said quietly, almost apologetically.

"You're not going alone," she immediately protested.

"Yes I am, because someone has to stay here and get all these people to safety," Natasha replied, looking around the room at the filled cells. "A lot of them look like they're in bad shape."

Carol turned her attention to the prisoners still locked in the other cells. She had been so intent on finding Natasha, she hadn't really registered their presence. She nodded slowly.

"Right. Who are these people anyway?"

"Test subjects," the redhead answered grimly.

Carol felt her stomach turn. She tried not to think about the possible horrors that had occurred in this room. This place really did deserve to burn.

"The keys have to be around here somewhere," Natasha was saying, glancing around the room. "Unless that asshole took them with him. He would do something like that--"

Carol cleared her throat, getting the other woman's attention.

"I don't need a key," she smiled, throwing the redhead a wink.

"Right," Natasha chuckled, "of course you don't."

Ignoring how adorable the redhead looked, Carol changed the subject, forcing herself to keep her head in the game.

"Clint's here as well, he's waiting for us right outside the facility," she told the other woman, "he can help with the evacuation too. Don't worry, we'll get everyone out."

Natasha nodded as they continued to look at each other, and Carol suddenly realized it was time for them to say goodbye. Curiously, she didn't want to let the other woman leave. It was ridiculous, of course, the redhead was more than capable of handling herself if she ran into any trouble. And between them, Natasha was the only one who knew how to initiate the self-destruct sequence. It was completely logical for them to go their separate ways, but Carol still felt herself hesitating.

As if sensing her thoughts, the other woman reached out and pulled Carol close, resting their foreheads together.

"I'll be right behind you," Natasha promised.

She nuzzled the redhead's forehead, trying to ignore the sudden knot in her stomach.

"You'd better be," she replied softly.

The other woman lingered for just a moment longer, and then pulled away, giving Carol one last look before she disappeared down the hallway.

Carol watched the redhead leave and then sighed, turning to assess her next task. She hadn't stopped to notice before, but almost every cell was occupied. And there were a lot of them. It was time to get to work.

The first thing she did was rip all the doors off all the cells, which took longer than she anticipated. The freed occupants gathered in a large group in the middle of the room, staring at her with a mixture of wonder and fear. Once everyone was freed, Carol turned to face the crowd, raising her voice.

"Ok everyone, we need to get out of here. I need those of you who can walk to please evacuate on your own. Those of you who need help, stay here with me and I'll get you out."

About two thirds of the group started to shuffle towards the hallway, talking excitedly to each other in hushed voices. The remaining third stayed where they were and stared at her, obviously uncertain.

Carol smiled, trying to put them at ease.

"Alright guys, who's first?"

Nobody said a word, which wasn't too surprising.

"Ok, how about you two?" she asked, pointing to a young woman clutching a small child. The woman's head was wrapped in dirty bandages, and the child's skin looked burned in several places. Looking at them, Carol tried not to think about what could have caused such injuries and took a deep breath instead, pushing through the anger she felt bubbling up.

She walked over to the pair and gently took the small boy in one arm, trying to reassure him as his eyes grew bigger. Carol turned to the woman, who had a similar expression on her face, and picked her up in the other arm. She glanced up, noting that the glass in most of the windows in the room had been shot out.

"Ok, here we go," she told them gently.

As soon as they realized what was happening, both of her passengers tightened their grips, looking around wildly. Carol rose up slowly and carefully passed through an open window, flying out into the cool night air. Looking down, she was surprised to see a large group of police vehicles gathered near the building's main entrance. Scanning the crowd for a familiar face, she landed near one of the vehicles, gently placing the woman and boy back on their feet. The woman started thanking her profusely while the boy couldn't stop smiling. Apparently sometime during the flight he had decided the experience was a fun one.

Finally, she heard a familiar voice as Clint hurried over, looking concerned.

"Carol! Did you find Natasha?" he asked immediately.

"Yeah," Carol nodded, "she's fine."

"Where is she?"

"Up there," she replied, pointing to the very top of the launcher in the distance. "She's initiating the self-destruct sequence to blow that thing up."

Clint furrowed his brow, staring into the distance.

"Of course she is," he said quietly.

"Why are the police here?" Carol asked, looking around at the crowd.

Clint snorted.

"I guess someone was actually paying attention when that thing appeared," he answered, eyeing the newly-exposed launcher. "The local government finally decided something fishy was going on and sent a whole squadron to investigate." He looked at the woman and young boy. "Who are they?"

"Test subjects."

He grimaced.

"Really? Jesus."

"Yeah, and there's more. A large group should be coming out any minute and I've got more to bring down. They're going to need medical attention."

"I'm on it," he nodded, heading over to a police officer who looked like she was in charge.

After assuring her passengers help was on the way, Carol took off, heading back to the lab to pick up the next load.

She could only carry two people at a time so it took several trips, and some of them resisted at first, not thrilled with the idea of flying. But eventually, almost everyone was evacuated and receiving the medical care they needed. A couple of ambulances had already left to take the more severely wounded people to a nearby hospital. The police officers, in the meantime, had gone through the building and pulled out all of the facility's guards. As they were being taken away, it didn't escape her attention that the small man was not among them.

Suddenly hearing a sound coming from the launcher she looked up, scanning the structure for movement. She wasn't sure, but it looked like the missile's systems were coming online. Unsure whether that was part of the self-destruct sequence, Carol furrowed her brow, trying to ignore the knot that was suddenly growing in her stomach. She decided she would check in on the redhead as soon as she finished her last load.

After giving the missile another hard look, Carol flew back up to the lab where her last load was waiting for her, an elderly couple who had insisted on going last. She made a quick sweep of the room to confirm it was clear, and then flew her last passengers down to safety. Touching down gently, Carol released the pair, and after graciously accepting their gratitude, watched as they made their way over to the crowd.

"Is that everyone?" Clint asked, walking up.

"Yep, we're all clear," she answered, looking back at the building. The missile stood tall, looming over the facility like an ominous, hulking threat. She could definitely hear something now, a low rumble and possibly a beeping sound. She squinted, scanning the towering structure until she spotted the small control room at the top. She couldn't see anyone, but she knew Natasha was up there.

She turned to Clint.

"I'm going to go see if she needs any hel--"

Suddenly a blinding flash of light filled the night sky as a deafening explosion shook the building. Everyone around her dropped to the ground, their terror-filled faces gaping at the building behind her. Stunned, Carol whipped around to face the facility, watching in horror as several smaller explosions engulfed the missile in a billowing cloud of fire. 

Carol's heart stopped.

People were screaming. Sirens were blaring. Police officers were yelling. She was oblivious to it all, only registering her surroundings as a dull hum. All she could hear was the sound of her own frantic breathing in her ears. She stood frozen, watching as the fire quickly spread to the launcher and raced up the scaffolding, making it's way to the top.

Time stopped. Carol stood there for what felt like forever, in debilitating shock, unable to tear her eyes away from the devastation. She felt like she was drowning, helpless to stop the horror unfolding in front of her. She glanced at the main entrance futilely, knowing without a doubt the redhead was not going to emerge. She looked up again, watching in slow motion as the fire continued to climb to the top of the launcher. Only seconds had passed but it felt like a lifetime.

Suddenly Clint was grabbing her arm and yelling something, and it was only then that Carol realized she was on fire as well. Her entire body was radiating energy, hotter than it ever had before. Clint pulled his hand back, staring at her as the energy enveloped her, burning so bright he had to shield his eyes. She turned back towards the building, seeing the billowing flames about to consume the small control room at the top. Suddenly the untethered energy within her came screaming to the surface, intensifying exponentially as she concentrated on the small room. Carol gritted her teeth and clenched her flaming fists, feeling raw power surge through her like never before.

She wasn't going to let it end this way.

Without a second thought she took off, flying as fast as she could straight into the inferno. She reached the launcher just as the small control room went up in flames, and the scaffolding surrounding it collapsed to fall into the fiery depths below. Desperately hoping Natasha had left the control room in time, Carol frantically searched for any sign of the redhead but found none. Realizing she had nothing to go on, she came to an abrupt halt and hovered over the billowing ruins, closing her eyes as the fire licked hungrily at her feet. She reached out with everything inside of her, knowing that a fall from this height would only last seconds.

Suddenly opening her eyes, Carol focused on a spot far below, squinting against the raging heat. Her heart clenched inside of her chest as she finally spotted Natasha, but it was almost too late. Tapping into all the power that was coursing through her, Carol streaked down, defying the force of gravity and probably a few other laws of physics as well. With milliseconds to spare she caught the redhead, holding the other woman tightly against her as she rocketed them skyward, leaving the devastation below.

After reaching a safe distance, she finally let herself slow, adjusting her grip on the redhead. Natasha was barely conscious, her glassy emerald eyes unfocused and her face smudged with black soot. But as she gazed at Carol, there was a brief moment of recognition before she slumped into unconsciousness, the faintest smile on her lips. Carol pulled the other woman closer, holding her tight as the bright halo of light surrounding them slowly faded away. She hovered for a moment longer and closed her eyes, consoled by the soft feel of Natasha's warm breath on her neck.

Taking them away from the flaming ruins, she flew back towards the crowd where several ambulances were still gathered. As soon as her feet touched the ground there were medics surrounding her. Carrying Natasha to the closest ambulance, Carol gently laid her on a gurney as Clint rushed to her side. Never taking her eyes off the other woman, she climbed into the back of the ambulance, holding the redhead's hand tightly in hers as they headed for the nearest hospital.

\-----

The room was completely silent.

Natasha leveled her gaze at the new group of guards and raised an eyebrow, daring someone to move.

For a brief moment she thought they might turn and run, but then she sensed movement and suddenly half the formation was coming at them, their weapons aimed to kill. Carol took care of the ones in the front but Natasha saw several of them peel off from the main group, obviously trying to flank them. She smiled to herself, it was go time. She disarmed the first few guards effortlessly, dodging their horrible aim so easily she almost felt bad for them. The next lot was slightly more challenging, but she soon had them disabled on the floor.

She returned to Carol's side just as the blonde finished taking out another group of guards. Moving in perfect sync, they took on wave after wave, Natasha taking on the guards in the front that charged at them, and Carol taking out the ones that held back, trying to mount an attack from the rear. She cut her way through the onslaught, thwarting every attack, and with the blonde by her side it was downright exhilarating.

Apparently deciding to try a new strategy, several guards banded together, intending to rush them. She tapped Carol's arm, indicating her request with no words. The blonde understood immediately and gave her a boost, propelling Natasha over their heads. She landed nimbly on her feet behind the small group, and together the two women quickly took them down.

They quickly exchanged a wink and a smile just before Carol turned to toss two large men across the room. Natasha had never enjoying fighting alongside someone so much; their skill sets so perfectly complemented each other. She used her moves to take care of the close quarters combat, while Carol used her considerable power and strength, as well as a few moves of her own, to thin the ranks. They were a formidable team.

Suddenly Natasha saw movement out of the corner of her eye and turned, seeing the small man stagger to his feet across the room. He started to run but she easily caught up to him, flinging him to the floor. She felt a sense of satisfaction as she looked down at him, watching as he cowered.

"It's over," she told him.

He started to say something but then abruptly shifted his attention to Carol, watching open-mouthed as she blasted two of his guards across the room. The other woman started to walk towards them, her body bathed in crackling ribbons of yellow and blue energy, a blinding white light enveloping each of her fists.

"What the hell is that?!" he screamed, frantically gesturing in the advancing woman's direction.

Natasha turned her head to gaze at the fiery blonde. She was still amazed by the amount of sheer power that Carol usually kept hidden just below the surface. She watched as the energy flowed freely, uninhibited, caressing the other woman's body like a lover with its golden light. Natasha thought it was beautiful. She looked back down at the small man, noticing he was trembling slightly.

"That? That's my woman," she smiled innocently.

He gaped at her, a mixture of confusion and horror on his face.

"That's an abomination!" he shrieked, rising suddenly to make a break for it. He made it two steps towards the ruined doorway before a blast of photon energy hit him square in the back, sending him sprawling.

"Asshole," Carol muttered, coming to stand next to her.

Natasha turned, watching as the light emanating from the blonde slowly faded.

Carol met her gaze.

"Your woman, huh?" she said, a smile spreading across her features.

Natasha's stomach hit the floor. Apparently, Carol had some damn good hearing as well. She tried to smile nonchalantly but had to look away, suddenly feeling a little flustered.

"I meant... you know... I just wanted to see the look on his face..." she shrugged, feeling her cheeks start to warm as the blonde raised an eyebrow.

Carol reached over and took her hands, her warm chestnut eyes glowing in the way that made Natasha's heart flutter.

"I am," the blonde said softly, before leaning in to kiss her.

As soon as their lips touched she felt her whole body melt. Carol kissed her slowly but passionately, and Natasha could feel everything she had been keeping in the last two weeks rushing to the surface. She longed to pull Carol even closer and lose herself in the moment, to pretend they were somewhere far, far away. But eventually she forced herself to pull away, and as she gazed into the blonde's eyes, Natasha was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to tell her.

She reached up to caress Carol's cheek, feeling the words bubbling to the surface. She wanted nothing more than to freeze this moment, to forget about the chaos surrounding them, and finally express the depth of her feelings to the woman she loved. She could hear her brain telling her it wasn't the time, but her heart had other ideas. Natasha opened her mouth to speak, unable to hold it in any longer, when suddenly there was a loud scuffle behind them.

Both women turned to look as the small man stumbled to his feet and frantically ran towards the ruined doorway, glancing back at them in terror as he escaped down the hallway.

"Son of a bitch..." Carol muttered, moving to follow him.

"Wait," Natasha said, squeezing the blonde's hand, "it's ok, don't worry about him."

With the moment broken, she realized, foolishly, that her brain had been right, it wasn't the time. Taking a deep breath she attempted to clear her head, trying to turn her thoughts back to the mission. There was still work to be done.

Carol was giving her a questioning look.

"He's harmless, and we've got other things to worry about," she explained. 

She let go of the blonde's hand and walked over to the command center, accessing one of the consoles. Peering at the screen she typed in a few commands, trying to assess the status of the weapon. The startup sequence had finished but the missile hadn't been armed. Natasha sighed with relief.

"Thank God the bastard didn't have time to arm it."

"So, what do we need to do?" Carol asked, walking up to stand beside her.

Natasha looked up at the other woman, a smirk on her face.

"How do you feel about blowing this place to smithereens?"

The blonde smiled.

"Sounds like fun, but why? Hasn't everything been effectively shut down?"

"Yes, but as long as the weapon and the plans to build it still exist, no one is safe."

Carol nodded, "Ok, can I just blast it?"

Natasha shook her head.

"Unfortunately, no. If you do that, it might trigger the biological agent on board. We need a controlled explosion, and luckily the missile has a self-destruct sequence just for that purpose. It should safely contain any leaks and hopefully take this whole damn lab with it. I just need to access the right program to activate it," she said, performing a search in the system.

After a few moments Natasha realized it wasn't going to be that easy.

"Damn, it looks like I can only initiate the self-destruct sequence from the launcher itself," she sighed, frustrated.

All programs should have been accessible from the command center. How paranoid was this guy?

"Ok, so where exactly do we need to go?" Carol asked, squinting at the image on the screen.

"The manual controls are located in that control room," Natasha answered, pointing at a spot at the very top of the large metal structure. "From there I'll be able to program the countdown sequence to give everyone enough time to get to safety."

"Alright, let's go," the blonde said, turning to go.

Natasha reached out and grabbed the other woman's hand, holding on tight as Carol turned to look at her.

"I need you to stay here," she said quietly, hoping the blonde wouldn't fight her.

Carol immediately frowned.

"You're not going alone."

"Yes I am, because someone has to stay here and get all these people to safety. A lot of them look like they're in bad shape."

The blonde glanced at the cells lining the walls. She nodded slowly.

"Right. Who are these people anyway?"

"Test subjects," she answered ominously.

Carol instantly looked disgusted.

"The keys have to be around here somewhere," Natasha said, glancing around quickly. "Unless that asshole took them with him. He would do something like that--"

She heard the blonde clear her throat.

"I don't need a key," the other woman smiled, giving her a wink.

"Right," Natasha chuckled, "of course you don't."

"Clint's here as well, he's waiting for us right outside the facility," Carol informed her, "he can help with the evacuation too. Don't worry, we'll get everyone out."

Natasha nodded as she looked at the other woman, realizing it was time to say goodbye again. It felt wrong to go their separate ways after having just been reunited. But this time it would only be for a short time. She hesitated for a moment and then reached out, pulling Carol close to rest their foreheads together.

"I'll be right behind you," Natasha promised.

"You'd better be," Carol said softly, nuzzling her forehead.

She lingered for just a moment longer and then reluctantly pulled away, giving the blonde one last look before she left the room. Ignoring the sudden knot in her stomach, Natasha walked briskly down the hallway, heading for the launcher.

She made her way through the building quickly, heading to what she hoped was the center of the facility. After taking out a few guards along the way, finally she found the inner courtyard and walked outside, looking up. Her jaw dropped slightly at the sheer size of the missile, which was bigger than she could have imagined. The towering metal structure it was attached to was the equivalent of a skyscraper. She craned her neck but couldn't see the control room that was supposedly at the top. Hoping it would be obvious once she got up there, Natasha looked around for an elevator.

The elevator looked like a cage that ran up the very center of the structure. Even though the launcher was probably at least 40-stories tall, there were only five buttons for five stops. She pushed the button at the top and waited as the elevator slowly rose up, looking out at the night sky through the scaffolding as the ground disappeared below.

Finally coming to a stop she exited the elevator and looked around, feeling the wind whip her face and tousle her hair. At this height, she could see the lights coming from the main part of the city in the distance. She swallowed, thinking of all the people and families who had no idea what had almost happened here tonight.

Finding a door, she entered a small dimly lit room that contained several computer consoles. She glanced at the screens, quickly discerning which one would give her access to the manual controls. Natasha sat down and got to work, preparing to access the system.

She felt him coming, but it was too late to react. A hard object smashed into the back of her head, the force of the impact throwing her from the chair. Natasha fell to her knees, clutching the back of her head as blinding pain radiated through her skull. Sensing movement, she rolled away from her attacker and looked up, shocked to see the small man standing in front of her.

"What the hell... how did you...?" she tried to say, her head reeling as she scooted backwards.

"You're too late, darling," he hissed, advancing towards her with what looked like a heavy pipe.

As he raised it over his head, ready to strike again, she kicked him hard, knocking his legs out from under him. He fell to the ground in a heap, but recovered quickly, coming at her as she dragged herself backwards. She was barely able to get to her feet in time to catch his next blow, catching it with her hands. He pushed forward, throwing her off balance as she attempted to stagger out of the nearest door. Exiting out onto the scaffolding, she collapsed on the metal walkway, desperately trying to locate her attacker through the fog of pain.

Hearing footsteps she turned just in time to see him coming towards her, a manic gleam in his beady eyes.

"You can't stop it, you're too late!" he shouted over the wind.

Natasha shakily got to her feet as he rushed at her, the pipe held high over his head. At the last moment, she instinctively dropped to the ground, laying on her back to bring her feet up. Unable to stop himself in time, the small man passed over her as she kicked out with all her strength. She caught him square in the stomach and he went flying, screaming as he toppled over the nearby railing.

Natasha lay there for at few seconds, listening as his screams slowly faded away, listening to her heartbeat pounding in her ears. Forcing herself to get up, she slowly waked back to the control room, each step sending a fresh wave of pain through her skull. She sat down at the computer console, squinting at the screen as she picked up where she left off, attempting to hack her way into the system. Despite her blurred vision, she was finally able to gain access, and when the missile status appeared on the screen, she froze.

Shocked, her mind started to race as the rest of her suddenly felt cold and clammy. A timer was displayed on the screen, in large red numbers, and it was counting down. She stared at it in disbelief, unwilling or unable to accept what was happening. But there was no doubt; the small man had armed the missile and started the countdown, and there were less than three minutes remaining.

She desperately started running every scenario she could think of through her head, frantically looking for a solution. Natasha could leave now and run for her life, but probably wouldn't even make it to the ground below, much less out of the building, in less than three minutes. And even if she could make it out alive, she would never be able to live with her actions, knowing the amount of devastation that would be unleashed on the large city shimmering in the distance.

Closing her eyes to block out the image on the screen, Natasha placed her throbbing head in her hands and took a deep, shuddering breath. She knew what she had to do, and the realization hurt more than she ever could have imagined. She had to stay, and do the right thing. Even if it meant losing the chance to live the life she never knew she wanted.

Suddenly a beeping sound cut through her ruminations as the missile entered the last stretch of the launch sequence. As the countdown hit the two minute mark, the propulsion system came online, igniting with a roar. Trying to ignore the aching in her heart, Natasha quickly got to work, her fingers flying over the keyboard as she raced against the clock. On several occasions the system tried to lock her out, but she persisted, eliminating every obstacle until she finally found the program she needed.

The beeping grew louder as the timer hit the ten second mark, and the launcher started to vibrate as she entered the last command into the computer. Pausing for only a second, Natasha stared at her reflection in the screen, sadly accepting her fate as she pressed the execute button.

The explosion was instantaneous, the sound ripping through the air until all she could hear was a ringing in her ears. Several more explosions went off, the force of the blasts shaking the walls and the floor under her feet as Natasha staggered towards the door. The air outside was thick with smoke, the heat so intense from the firestorm below that she had to shield her face. Stepping out onto the metal walkway, she looked over the edge, watching as the lower part of missile was engulfed in fire.

Natasha knew it would only be a matter of seconds before the flames consumed the launcher. Already she could see the conflagration climbing higher, travelling up the scaffolding at an alarming rate. She glanced down to the end of the metal walkway, deciding grimly she would rather jump to her death than burn alive. Feeling a wave of dizziness hit her, she grabbed the handrail, bracing herself as the towering structure began to shudder.

The heat started to rise rapidly as the firestorm drew closer, the air itself seemingly on fire as embers and ash floated down all around her. Natasha crouched at one end of the walkway, watching as the fire reached the control room and consumed the small structure almost instantly. As the flames quickly spread to the walkway, she knew it was time to go.

Willing her muscles to work, she sprinted down towards the opposite end of the metal walkway, the flames licking at her heels. Her eyes and chest burned from the smoke as fire rained down all around her. Natasha ran as fast as she could, feeling the metal walkway beneath her feet start to collapse as she jumped with everything she had.

Natasha had never believed in faith, and had definitely never took a leap of one, but as she catapulted herself off the edge she let go of all her reservations. Through smoke and debris she blindly fell, chaos exploding all around her. She knew when she hit the ground she would die instantly, her existence reduced to a memory. In the little time she had left, she let herself relive that existence, allowing her emotions to crash through her as she continued to fall. Finally, she thought of the woman who had changed her, bringing to life parts of Natasha she thought were long dead. She felt the love radiating inside of her and embraced it, clinging to an intangible hope that maybe the story wasn't over.

She fell faster and faster, hot burning wind whipping through her hair as the ground eagerly pulled her closer. Just as she was about to prepare for the inevitable, a streak of blinding light appeared out of the corner of her eye, heading straight towards her. It kept coming faster and faster, growing in intensity, and just as the ground rushed up to meet her, the light collided with her. She grunted with the force of the impact, disoriented by the abrupt change in momentum until she realized, to her everlasting relief, she was in Carol's arms. As if in a dream, the fiery devastation faded below as she rested her head against a golden star. Her lungs were aching and her head was spinning, but she was alive. Natasha could feel the energy emanating from the blonde flowing through her as Carol soared over the inferno, lifting them higher and higher into the night sky to safety.

Finally, the other woman slowed and adjusted her grip, and Natasha let her head fall onto the blonde's shoulder. She felt herself start to sag in the other woman's strong arms as they hovered near the burning ruins. The blonde turned her head to look at Natasha, and Carol's warm chestnut eyes were the last thing she saw before succumbing to unconsciousness.

\-----


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are always difficult before they get easy...

\-----

Natasha awoke slowly, gradually becoming aware of a soft warm light, and then the low ambient sounds in the room. Opening her eyes, she found herself in a hospital bed, and immediately realized she had one of the worst headaches she'd ever had in her entire life. She brought her hand up reflexively to feel the back of her head, wincing at the painful memory. Turning her head, she attempted to find a more comfortable position on the pillow, one that hopefully wouldn't make her head pound more, and saw that she wasn't alone.

Carol was slumped in a chair at Natasha's bedside, her head propped up by one hand, sound asleep. The blonde was still wearing her Captain Marvel suit, the bright red and blue colors muted by what looked like a layer of soot, and several ugly black smudges. Natasha could see more dark smudges on the blonde's face, which was partially obscured by her long tousled hair. 

She braced herself as the memories came rushing back: the countdown, the explosions, the fiery devastation. But then there had been a light, and even in her compromised state, she had known something extraordinary had happened. For the first time in her life, she had let go of her doubts and dared to embrace hope, and somehow it had paid off. She was alive. Her story wasn't over.

Gazing at the sleeping blonde, she remembered Carol's strong arms holding her close as they soared high into the night sky, the inferno below fading away. Natasha had no idea how the blonde had found her, it seemed almost impossible. But as she watched the rhythmic rise and fall of the other woman's chest, she realized it wasn't really important. The only thing that really mattered to her was that they were together. 

"She hasn't left your side," she heard a man's voice whisper.

Natasha turned her head to see Clint standing in the doorway, a soft smile on his face.

"No matter how many times she was told to get some rest," he finished, raising an eyebrow. He walked into the room, coming over to stand on the other side of the bed.

She looked up at him, a million questions suddenly filling her head. Was everyone safe? She tried to ask, but made a croaking sound instead, suddenly aware that her throat felt like sandpaper. Clint handed her a glass of water.

"Don't worry, everything turned out ok, Nat," he assured her as she downed the glass.

"Did everyone make it out ok?" she asked in a hoarse voice.

He nodded.

"We got them all out, you were the last."

Natasha allowed herself a small smile, relieved. At least it hadn't all been for nothing. She heard Carol stir next to her and turned her head, listening as the blonde murmured something in her sleep. She reached over and took the other woman's free hand in her own, gently rubbing the worn leather with her thumb.

"Hey sleeping beauty..."

Carol groaned softly, furrowing her brow, and then opened her eyes, immediately shifting her gaze towards the bed. Seeing that Natasha was awake, the blonde sat straight up, her eyes going wide.

"Natasha," Carol said breathlessly, a mixture of relief and concern immediately spreading across her features.

She grinned at the blonde, in spite of herself, finding the sight of a disheveled Captain Marvel quite adorable.

"I almost didn't have the heart to wake you, you looked so peaceful," she told the other woman.

Carol shook her head.

"I... I didn't realize I'd nodded off. How are you feeling?"

"Besides a splitting headache and a killer sore throat, pretty good actually."

"Must be the drugs," Clint chuckled. Natasha turned to look up at him, realizing she had momentarily forgotten he was there. She gave him a look.

"What happened?" Carol asked, abruptly.

She turned, hearing the strain in the blonde's voice. The relief that she had initially seen in the other woman's eyes had all but disappeared, leaving behind palpable anxiety. Upon closer inspection, Natasha realized Carol was more than disheveled. The tension and obvious exhaustion emanating from the blonde was substantial. She was pale and her eyes were unusually dark, completely lacking their familiar warmth.

Natasha had seen enough to recognize psychological trauma when she saw it. Her first instinct was to tell Carol to get some much-needed rest, and promise the other woman they could talk later. But the air of desperation radiating from the blonde told her that was not an option. No matter how much it might pain her, Natasha knew she had no choice but to tell Carol the truth.

She sighed.

"The man that escaped from the lab, he must have run straight to the launcher. He was hiding in the control room when I got up there, and the moment I sat down at the computer console he attacked me from behind," she said, gesturing to the back of her head.

"And what happened to him?" Carol asked, a dangerous tone to her voice.

"He didn't make it."

Carol's jaw tightened. 

"I should have blasted him harder."

"And I should have let you hunt him down," Natasha added, "but I had no idea he was going to be such an ass."

She looked away and took a deep breath, knowing the next part was going to be hard.

"Anyway, after I finished with him, I went back to the control room to get started. I didn't know he had armed the missile until I accessed the system to initiate the self-destruct sequence. By then, the launch sequence was already counting down, and I knew there wasn't enough time to stop it."

She shifted her gaze to Carol, who was looking at her intently.

"I had to stay and destroy the missile before it could launch," she said quietly.

Her heart ached at the look of quiet devastation that passed over the blonde's features. Carol held her gaze for a moment longer and then looked away suddenly, her jaw clenching.

Natasha was about to reach for the other woman when she heard Clint clear his throat. She glanced up at him.

"Can I get you some more water, Nat?" he asked, obviously trying to excuse himself subtly.

"Yeah, that would be great, thanks."

He gave her a small smile, glancing in Carol's direction as he shut the door softy behind him.

Natasha turned to look at the woman sitting beside her, who was silently staring vacantly across the room. She couldn't see most of the blonde's face, but the tension and anxiety radiating from her was almost tangible.

"Hey..." she said softly, gently stroking the blonde's leather-clad hand, "talk to me."

Instead of looking at her, Carol lowered her head, shifting her gaze to the floor. Assuming the other woman needed time to collect herself, Natasha waited patiently, giving the blonde all the time she needed. It was several moments before the other woman spoke.

"I thought I lost you," Carol finally replied in a broken voice.

The blonde slowly raised her head, meeting Natasha's gaze, and it broke her heart to see the other woman's eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"You didn't lose me, you saved me," she said softly, suddenly wishing she could get out of bed to hug the blonde.

Carol looked away again as she took a deep breath, shuddering slightly.

"I was almost too late," the other woman said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"But you weren't, somehow... you were exactly where I needed you be," Natasha said, trying to assure the blonde.

Carol shook her head slowly as she continued to stare at the ground.

"I don't even know how I found you... I was so lost... I..." the blonde trailed off.

Natasha had never seen the other woman so disheartened. Carol looked drained, the stress and trauma obviously having taken its toll. The sight made her heart ache more. She squeezed the blonde's hand, waiting until the other woman looked up at her.

"Maybe it doesn't matter."

Carol furrowed her brow, a questioning look on her face.

Natasha sat up, ignoring the pounding in her head as she reached for the blonde. Placing her hand gently on the other woman's face, she looked into Carol's dark turbulent eyes.

"Maybe this is the only thing that does," she said softly.

Carol gazed at her, seemingly needing a moment to process Natasha's words. She softly stroked the blonde's cheek, watching as the storm raging in the other woman's eyes slowly began to calm. She continued to caress the blonde, feeling the tension in the other woman's body eventually subside as Carol's shoulders visibly relaxed.

After a moment the blonde slowly reached up and covered Natasha's hand with her own, turning her head to place a soft kiss in her palm. Natasha felt her heart flutter as Carol closed her eyes, leaning into her touch. As she gazed at the other woman, Natasha suddenly felt her own emotions bubbling to the surface. She was touched by the obvious depth of Carol's feelings, but also pained at the realization that she had caused the other woman so much distress. She swallowed, suddenly blinking back her own tears.

"Carol, I'm so sorry..." she whispered.

The blonde opened her eyes, a look of confusion spreading over her features.

"If there had been any other way... the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you--"

The blonde pulled away, shaking her head.

"No, don't apologize," Carol said softly, "you had no choice. You did the right thing... I know that."

The blonde looked down and stared at their intertwined fingers, taking a deep breath. When she looked back up, Natasha was relieved to see the other woman's chestnut color had returned.

"I haven't been involved with someone in a really long time... and I've definitely never been with someone like you. I knew before I got into this that you were a badass, but... I think it's just going to take me a little while to get used to. Does that make sense?"

Natasha nodded slowly, appreciating the blonde's honesty. She remembered when other woman's life had hung in the balance, and how it had made her feel at the time. She had never been with someone that made her feel the way Carol did. It was definitely going to take some getting used to.

"I think we're both pretty badass," she replied with a small smile.

She was thrilled when Carol responded with her own small smile.

"Clint told me everyone got out ok, that you were able to free all those people in time. You saved everyone," Natasha continued.

Carol looked at her for a moment, her tired eyes twinkling in the light. Suddenly she leaned in and softly kissed Natasha's cheek, lingering just long enough to awaken the slumbering butterflies in her stomach.

"No, you did," the blonde whispered before pulling away.

Smiling at the other woman, Natasha leaned back and let her head fall onto the pillow.

"I should probably let you rest," Carol said, standing up to leave.

She wanted to protest, to ask the other woman to stay, but then realized how tired she actually was.

"Same goes for you," Natasha replied, raising an eyebrow for emphasis. She hoped that Carol would take her own advice, the other woman looked like she could drop at any moment.

"Yes ma'am," Carol smiled, enough that it finally reached her eyes.

Natasha smiled back, watching as the blonde made her way to the door and gave Natasha one last look before she closed it behind her.

As soon as the door shut, her eyelids felt so heavy she had to close them. With the soothing effects of the drugs in her system, and the memory of Carol's smile, she let herself drift off.

She awoke later that day, feeling stronger, her headache a fraction less painful. Clint came to check in on her, telling her that Carol had finally succumbed to exhaustion and was passed out in Natasha's room back at the shitty apartment. The news both amused and mildly annoyed her. How many nights had she laid in that bed, thinking about the blonde? And now Carol was there, and she was stuck in a hospital bed. Timing was everything.

"So, Nat..." Clint said, pulling her out of her ruminations, "how exactly did that guy know it was you who broke in?"

She rolled her eyes at the question, it still pissed her off.

"Apparently, I used the same code I used in Kabul, and he recognized it," she answered, scowling. "Freak."

Clint raised his eyebrows.

"You used a code from an old mission?"

She looked at him, leveling her gaze.

"Are you serious? I was on a different planet!"

He shook his head.

"You're getting sloppy, Nat"

She slapped his arm, hard.

"Ow!" he laughed, stepping back from her bedside.

"You'll know when I get sloppy."

Clint smiled, rubbing his arm, but she noticed it didn't quite reach his eyes.

She cocked her head at him.

"What's up?"

His smile faltered slightly as he looked at her, still absently rubbing his arm.

"This one was too close for comfort."

"I know," she said quietly, glancing down at the bed covers.

"One moment everything was fine and then, boom, it just... went to shit," he said, shaking his head. "I didn't know what to do, except... just stare. Like an idiot."

"Clint, there wasn't anything you could have done," she said, looking up at him.

"I know. But then I saw Carol, and... she was on fire Nat, I couldn't even look at her! And then she just took off, and the next thing I knew she was back, holding you in her arms."

He crossed his arms over his chest, squinting at the closest wall.

"I couldn't believe she pulled you out. How the hell did she do that?"

"She told me she doesn't even know," Natasha said quietly, remembering how lost Carol had seemed.

"Just lucky, then, huh?" 

She shrugged.

"Maybe not."

He turned to meet her gaze, looking a little confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Well... I basically jumped off a burning skyscraper into an inferno--

"Wait, you jumped?" Clint asked, looking alarmed.

"--because I found it preferable to burning alive. But also, because I knew it was probably my only chance," Natasha finished.

He paused for a beat.

"You thought she could save you?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

Natasha smiled.

"I chose to have faith she would."

Clint looked at her, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

She chuckled.

"Someone told me recently that sometimes you need a little faith."

He laughed.

"I didn't mean you should jump off a fucking building! Good thing your girlfriend can fly."

Natasha smiled, realizing she hadn't actually gotten to enjoy the ride. That was definitely something that would need to be remedied.

"You know, in the past, going out like that wouldn't have been such a bad thing. There's worse ways to go," she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah... I guess so," he shrugged.

"But now... I just wasn't ready for it to end... you know?"

He sighed, nodding.

"I do."

Carol didn't come by that evening, but Natasha wasn't surprised, given the blonde's earlier state. The other woman's reaction was in stark contrast to her own, and Natasha wondered if it was odd she was unfazed by her own near death. Maybe she had experienced too many close calls to stop and contemplate each one, but that was probably going to change. Natasha smiled to herself, realizing she was going to have to get used to someone caring about her. There were worse things to get used to.

The next morning, she awoke refreshed, the pounding in her head considerably more tolerable. Clint stopped by to tell her Steve and Tony had arrived, and would be coming by later to take her to a debriefing with the local government. Apparently, there were more questions they wanted answered, which didn't exactly thrill her.

Having been finally discharged, she sat on the edge of her hospital bed, dressed in clean clothes. Natasha knew she should be organizing her thoughts for the debriefing, but instead found herself thinking about Carol. She had been hoping to see the blonde before the meeting, but that seemed unlikely now with Steve and Tony on their way. Thinking she should probably meet them in the lobby, she was about to get up when Carol suddenly walked through the door. The other woman was wearing jeans with a T-shirt, and a brown leather jacket, Natasha's favorite. She couldn't help but grin.

"Hey you," the blonde greeted her, coming over to sit on the bed next to Natasha, her chestnut eyes twinkling, "ready to go home?"

All evidence of the other woman's state from the day before was gone. She looked strong and rested, like her usual self.

"You have no idea," Natasha answered, smirking.

"Well, we should be able to leave by this afternoon. Clint's packing up the apartment as we speak, and your debriefing hopefully won't take too long."

Smiling, Natasha looked down between them and placed her hand on top of Carol's, absently tracing the other woman's knuckles with her thumb.

"How are you feeling?" she heard the blonde ask quietly.

"Pretty good, even though they took me off the drugs," Natasha answered, smirking to herself.

She looked up, searching the other woman's eyes.

"How are you?" she asked.

Carol smiled, too quickly and too easily.

"I'm fine."

Natasha hadn't known Carol that long, but the woman couldn't lie, even to herself apparently. Removing her hand, she slipped her arms around the other woman, pulling her into a tight hug. She felt Carol's arms instantly wrap around her, smiling as the blonde rested her head on Natasha's shoulder and nuzzled her neck. She closed her eyes, soaking up the other woman's warmth, enjoying a moment she knew would be all too fleet--

Hearing the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat, the two women pulled apart and looked towards the doorway. Steve and Tony were standing there, the former looking apologetic while the latter didn't seem to mind at all.

"Yes?" Natasha asked rhetorically. They had impeccable timing.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we gotta go," Tony replied.

She sighed, shooting Carol an exasperated look. The blonde smiled.

"Ok boys, let's go," Natasha told them, standing up to leave.

Carol followed closely behind, chuckling.

It wasn't until the early evening that they were finally ready to leave. She boarded the plane with Carol and Clint, feeling better than she had in a long time as they set a course for home.

\-----

Carol screamed. Frantically reaching out for anything to grab onto as she fell helplessly into the roaring inferno. She could feel her skin burning, her lungs filling with black acrid smoke as she continued to plummet to the fiery depths below. She fell, faster and faster, feeling her imminent doom draw closer, until...

Gasping, Carol awoke with a start, her heart pounding in her ears as the dream abruptly faded away. Reaching out she grabbed the side of the hospital bed, steadying herself as she attempted to catch her breath. She glanced at the unconscious occupant, relieved to see that Natasha was still resting peacefully. Carol watched as the other woman slept, the redhead's slow even breathing helping to soothe her own.

They had arrived at the hospital several hours earlier, and the doctor had assured Carol that Natasha would be ok. She had a concussion and was suffering from smoke inhalation, but she would make a full recovery. He told Carol the redhead needed rest, and advised her to get some as well. She ignored him, of course, refusing to leave even when Clint insisted. She just couldn't bring herself to leave the other woman's side.

Carol reached out and gently took Natasha's hand in her own, feeling the redhead's strong pulse. She focused on it, desperately trying to push away the memories that continued to haunt her. The moment the first explosion went off. Seeing the launcher consumed by flames. Thinking she had lost everything in the blink of an eye. Time had stopped as she stood frozen, watching the devastation unfold in front of her. Carol had no idea how long it had taken her to react, but Clint had assured her it was no longer than a few seconds. In her memories, it felt much longer.

Somehow, she had saved Natasha, but no matter how many times she went over it in her mind, she still couldn't figure out how. Once the launcher had collapsed, and everything had disintegrated into the fire, Carol had been lost. Finding the redhead had seemed impossible at that point, but suddenly she had known exactly where to look. Even then, she had almost been too late. Carol didn't want to think about what would have happened if she had been even one second later... it was unbearable to imagine a world without Natasha.

As she sat next to the hospital bed, watching the sleeping woman, Carol realized just how vulnerable she felt. Over the years she had gotten used to the idea of being nearly indestructible, but now, it seemed, that was no longer the case. She had lost people before, but she had never loved anyone the way she loved Natasha. Believing she had lost the redhead had taken Carol to a level of devastation she had never felt before, and even her miraculous rescue wasn't enough to calm the turmoil she felt inside.

Carol sighed heavily, every part of her aching. It had been days since she had last slept, but every time she closed her eyes she was assaulted by her memories and gripped by a paralyzing fear that she had actually failed. She had been around long enough to realize she was most likely suffering from some type of PTSD, but for the first time in her life, Carol didn't know how to process what she was feeling. The only thing that seemed to calm her was the sight of the redhead resting peacefully beside her, assuring her that everything was ok, no matter how broken she felt inside.

She continued her vigil as the hours slowly passed. Nurses periodically came by to check in, but otherwise everything remained relatively quiet. Finally, morning came, and the hospital started to come alive as rounds began. Not long afterwards, Clint visited, telling her - again - that she should get some rest. Shaking her head, Carol settled into her chair, propping up her weary head with her hand.

She had no concept of time, but at some point, her exhausted brain became aware of a gentle touch and then a familiar voice. Suddenly realizing she had fallen asleep again, she opened her eyes, focusing immediately on the bed. She was met with Natasha's emerald gaze and warm smile as the other woman gently rubbed Carol's hand through her glove.

"Natasha," she said sitting straight up, relief flooding through her.

The other woman's smile widened.

"I almost didn't have the heart to wake you, you looked so peaceful," Natasha answered in a hoarse voice, her eyes twinkling. 

Carol shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebs, desperately hoping she wasn't dreaming.

"I... I didn't realize I'd nodded off. How are you feeling?"

"Besides a splitting headache and a killer sore throat, pretty good actually," Natasha smirked.

"Must be the drugs," Clint chuckled.

Carol glanced up at him, wondering how long he had been in the room. She wasn't at all surprised he hadn't woken her. Natasha glanced up as well, giving him a look that made him wink. The two of them seemed so relaxed, but Carol could feel her anxiety building, threatening to spiral out of control. She desperately needed answers.

"What happened?" she asked, causing both of them to turn towards her.

Natasha looked at her for a moment, and Carol found herself praying the other woman wouldn't notice her compromised state. The last thing she wanted was for the redhead to worry.

The other woman sighed.

"The man that escaped from the lab, he must have run straight to the launcher. He was hiding in the control room when I got up there, and the moment I sat down at the computer console he attacked me from behind," the redhead replied, gesturing to the back of her head.

Carol knew the concussion was obviously the result of some type of impact, but it had never occurred to her that someone had hurt Natasha. She stiffened, feeling a spark of anger.

"And what happened to him?" she asked, trying to keep her voice even.

"He didn't make it."

Of course, the redhead had dealt with him, Carol wouldn't have expected anything less. But part of her almost wished he was still around to pummel.

"I should have blasted him harder."

"And I should have let you hunt him down," Natasha added, "but I had no idea he was going to be such an ass."

The redhead looked away, sighing heavily, and Carol knew the story was only going to get worse.

"Anyway, after I finished with him, I went back to the control room to get started. I didn't know he had armed the missile until I accessed the system to initiate the self-destruct sequence. By then, the launch sequence was already counting down, and I knew there wasn't enough time to stop it."

As the meaning behind the redhead's words slowly seeped into her brain, Carol watched as the other woman shifted her eyes, locking their gazes.

"I had to stay and destroy the missile before it could launch," the redhead said quietly, almost apologetically.

There was a moment of shocked silence and then Carol felt her chest constrict as the gravity of the other woman's words hit her. She suddenly felt sick, realizing the awful decision Natasha had been forced to make. They had said goodbye only minutes earlier, both of them assured they would see each other again soon. Carol remembered her stomach being in knots as she watched the other woman leave, thinking it was silly to worry. She never could have imagined Natasha was about to be thrust into a situation that had no other solution but her death. 

As the crushing reality of the situation sank in, Carol looked away abruptly, overwhelmed by the emotions that were crashing through her. She clenched her jaw as she felt it start to quiver, furiously blinking back the tears that were suddenly threatening to spill down her cheeks. She was vaguely aware of Clint saying something and then was relieved to hear the door shut.

Silence settled over the room as she felt Natasha's hand gently stroke her own.

"Hey... talk to me," the other woman said softly.

Struggling to control her breathing, Carol shifted her gaze to the floor, unable to meet the redhead's gaze. Knowing Natasha had already been through enough, she didn't want to burden the other woman with her own problems. She desperately tried to rein in her emotions, to assure Natasha she was fine. She needed to be fine. But she wasn't.

The redhead continued to softly rub her hand, patiently waiting for her to say something. Carol knew she needed to talk, if not for the woman who obviously cared about her, then for herself. Touched by Natasha's understanding, and ignoring her own reservations, Carol finally mustered the strength to open up.

"I thought I lost you," she said finally, hoping her voice wouldn't falter.

Somehow, saying it out loud made it hurt more.

Carol raised her head to look at the redhead, and then immediately regretted it, watching as the expression on the other woman's face immediately crumbled into a look of anguish.

"You didn't lose me, you saved me," Natasha said softly, her eyes imploring.

Carol looked away again, taking a deep breath as she tried to steady herself.

"I was almost too late," was all she could say. It was all she could think about.

"But you weren't, somehow... you were exactly where I needed you be," she heard Natasha's soft reply.

She shook her head slowly as she stared at the ground.

"I don't even know how I found you... I was so lost... I..." Carol heard herself saying.

She felt Natasha squeeze her hand and slowly lifted her head, forcing herself to meet the other woman's gaze.

"Maybe it doesn't matter," Natasha said softly.

Carol furrowed her brow, confused, as the other woman sat up suddenly. Natasha reached out to place her hand gently on Carol's cheek.

"Maybe this is the only thing that does," the redhead said tenderly, her beautiful emerald eyes shining.

Carol gazed at the other woman for a moment, letting the words and their simple meaning wash over her. She could feel the warmth from Natasha's hand on her skin as the redhead gently caressed her cheek, her eyes full of compassion. Carol felt her body start to relax, the tension in her shoulders slowly melting away under the other woman's soothing touch. The turmoil wreaking havoc in her mind finally started to calm and her breathing slowed, returning to a more regular pace.

Carol reached up and covered the redhead's hand with her own, turning her head slightly to place a soft kiss in the other woman's palm. Closing her eyes, she leaned into the redhead's touch, finally feeling a sense of calm and contentment settle over her. She let the feeling spread through her, ground her, chasing away her doubts and fears. Natasha was alive, she was safe, and they were together.

Carol was so swept up in the moment she almost didn't hear Natasha's quiet apology. She opened her eyes, startled to see tears in the redhead's eyes.

"If there had been any other way... the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you--"

Carol pulled away, shaking her head.

"No, don't apologize," she said softly, "you had no choice. You did the right thing... I know that."

Looking down at their intertwined fingers, she took a deep breath, trying to organize her frazzled thoughts. Deciding the best thing to do was to be honest, Carol lifted her head to look at Natasha. 

"I haven't been involved with someone in a really long time... and I've definitely never been with someone like you. I knew before I got into this that you were a badass, but... I think it's just going to take me a little while to get used to. Does that make sense?"

Carol watched the redhead, relieved when the other woman nodded, her eyes full of understanding.

"I think we're both pretty badass," Natasha replied with a small smile.

Carol couldn't help but smile back, and for the first time since the incident she felt a familiar warmth return to her body.

"Clint told me everyone got out ok, that you were able to free all those people in time. You saved everyone," the redhead continued.

She looked at the other woman, both touched by the sentiment, and amused by the fact that Natasha seemed oblivious to her own heroism. She leaned in and softly kissed the redhead's cheek, lingering for just a moment.

"No, you did," Carol whispered before pulling away.

Natasha leaned back and let her head fall onto the pillow, smiling with a hint of uncharacteristic modesty. The redhead looked tired and Carol suddenly registered her own crushing exhaustion.

"I should probably let you rest," she told the other woman, standing up to leave.

"Same goes for you," the redhead replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes ma'am," Carol smiled.

Natasha smiled back, her eyes following Carol to the door. With one last look at the sleepy redhead she slipped out of the room, closing the door softy behind her. She walked slowly towards the waiting area, squinting in the relative brightness of the hallway while she worked the kinks out of her cramped legs. Noticing a few looks thrown in her direction, she glanced down, groaning at her bedraggled appearance.

She found the small waiting area and walked over to a window, looking out at a sprawling green lawn. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes, allowing herself a moment to slowly let it out. She wasn't sure how, but Natasha had managed to calm the turmoil raging inside of her: the shock, the doubt and fear. Carol realized instead of feeling more vulnerable, she actually felt stronger.

She stiffened suddenly, hearing someone walk up behind her.

"Ready to get some rest?" she heard Clint ask quietly.

Turning around to face him she nodded wordlessly, too tired for conversation.

Riding in a comfortable silence, they drove to the home base that he and Natasha had occupied for the last two weeks. Arriving at the dingy apartment, Carol was so exhausted she hardly registered her surroundings as Clint led her to the redhead's bedroom. The moment she entered the room she collapsed in a heap onto the bed, falling asleep immediately.

The next morning, she awoke rested but slightly disoriented, until she realized where she was. Looking over at the nightstand, Carol saw the book she knew Natasha was reading, and next to it the redhead's small green necklace. To her chagrin, she was still wearing her suit, boots and all, on top of the other woman's blankets. Hopefully Natasha wouldn't be sleeping here again -- ever.

Carol looked around, taking in her surroundings. Even though the room was relatively empty, the few personal items that Natasha had left made the place feel curiously familiar, even soothing. Noticing a bag on a chair by the door, she got up and walked over, surprised when she saw it was hers.

Thirty minutes later, Carol emerged from the bedroom, freshly showered and dressed in her own clean clothes. She walked around the apartment, noting that it left much to be desired, until she found Clint in a room that looked like it was being used as an office. He looked up from his computer, smiling warmly as she entered the room.

"Hey, welcome back. Hungry?"

Was she ever.

An hour later, as he drove her to the hospital, Clint brought her up to speed, going over everything that had happened in the 20+ hours while she slept. Natasha's condition had continued to improve, and after one more night in the hospital she was currently in the process of being discharged. Steve and Tony, who had arrived earlier that morning, were on their way to pick up the redhead for a debriefing with the local government. Apparently, they had left Earth only hours after Carol, and had been kind enough to pack her an overnight bag, for which she was eternally grateful. 

Arriving at the hospital, she quickly made her way to Natasha's room, pleased to find the other woman dressed and sitting on the edge of her hospital bed. The redhead looked up as Carol entered the room, a smile spreading across her features that made Carol's breath catch in her throat. Despite narrowly escaping death only a couple days earlier, Natasha looked radiant.

"Hey you," Carol said, trying to sound nonchalant as she sat down next to the other woman, "ready to go home?"

The redhead looked at Carol, her emerald eyes twinkling in the morning light.

"You have no idea," she answered in a voice slightly huskier than usual, which Carol forced herself to ignore.

"Well, we should be able to leave by this afternoon. Clint's packing up the apartment as we speak, and your debriefing hopefully won't take too long," she told the redhead.

Smiling, Natasha looked down and placed her hand on top of Carol's on the bed, her thumb slowly tracing small circles over Carol's knuckles. She watched the redhead, momentarily mesmerized by the other woman's warm touch.

"How are you feeling?" she asked quietly.

"Pretty good, even though they took me off the drugs," Natasha responded, and Carol could tell by her tone she was smirking.

The redhead raised her head and looked into Carol's eyes, a shadow of concern spreading across her delicate features.

"How are you?"

She couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt at the other woman's question. The last thing she wanted was to make Natasha worry, especially when the redhead was supposed to be resting and healing.

"I'm fine," Carol smiled.

Natasha gazed at her for a moment and then removed her hand as she slipped her arms around Carol, pulling her into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms instinctively around the redhead and buried her face into Natasha's neck, breathing in deeply. She felt her emotions from earlier stir inside of her, but instead of doubt and turmoil, she felt peace and contentment. She wanted the moment to last longer, but was acutely aware they would probably be interrupted any min--

Hearing the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat, the two women pulled apart and looked towards the doorway. Steve and Tony were standing there, the former looking apologetic while the latter didn't seem to mind at all.

"Yes?" Natasha spoke first, a hint of irritation in her voice.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we gotta go," Tony said, raising his eyebrows.

The redhead sighed and gave Carol an exasperated look, to which she couldn't help but smile.

"Ok boys, let's go," Natasha replied, standing up to leave.

Carol followed, chuckling to herself.

It wasn't until the early evening that they were finally ready to leave. Having no intention of flying, she boarded the plane with Natasha and Clint, settling in as they set a course for home.

\-----


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up...

\-----

The party was in full swing.

People were drinking, the band was playing, and the room was alive with conversation and laughter. Carol stood in the midst of it all, surrounded by her friends, observing the festivities. The entire compound seemed to be in attendance, and everywhere she looked people were enjoying themselves and having a good time. Normally, she would have been one of those people, but after recent events, the gathering seemed almost surreal.

With Alpha Team's mission finally complete, it was time to celebrate. Even though details of the operation had been kept under tight wraps for months, everything was out in the open now. People knew enough to make them more curious, and Carol's friends, especially, were eager to learn more. She indulged them to a point, but for her own sake avoided going into too much detail.

Nevertheless, it still felt good to relax and unwind. She scanned the crowd, watching as Tony and Rhodey laughed over their glasses and Steve and Sam conversed animatedly at the bar. Everyone on the team was happily enjoying their well-deserved break, and Carol couldn't remember the last time she felt so at ease. There was only one thing missing, Natasha hadn't arrived yet.

She knew it was kind of ridiculous to miss the redhead. After all, they had just spent the last two days on a ship together, but in such close quarters it had been impossible to get a moment alone. She and Natasha had spent most of the trip home listening to Clint's stories (many of which, to her delight, featured the redhead) and writing their obligatory mission reports.

A crowd similar to the one that had welcomed her home from her last mission was waiting for them when they landed. Carol was uncharacteristically relieved not to be the sole focus of all the attention this time. She was feeling much better, but still wasn't quite back to her usual swaggering self. Once all the fanfare subsided, the team members had held a quick debriefing in the command room to wrap everything up, and then it was time to get ready to have some fun.

Always up for a party, Carol was surprised at her lack of enthusiasm. She had been reluctant at first, and had considered staying in, but then realized what the party was really for. They had survived another crisis, and it was important to acknowledge that fact, as well as everyone's hard work. And as a key player in the action, her absence would definitely be noticed. So, here she was, talking exhaustively to the people who kept coming up to her, and trying not to glance at the door every 5 minutes.

A half hour later, Carol was trying her best not to get antsy. It had occurred to her that she didn't actually know for sure if Natasha was coming. After all the excitement earlier, they had totally forgotten to discuss it. She was standing next to one of her friends, attempting to focus on the conversation, while simultaneously devising a plan to find the redhead later. Taking a sip of her beer, she glanced at the door, fully expecting to be disappointed once again, but instead she involuntarily did a double take.

Carol felt her breath hitch and her heartbeat kick up a notch as she watched Natasha enter the room. The redhead was wearing a flattering low cut blouse and a tight skirt that hugged her hips just right. Unable to look away, she followed the other woman with her eyes, watching as several other people turned their heads as well. She couldn't blame them.

"Carol?" she heard her friend ask, and realized that not only was her jaw hanging slightly open, but she had completely stopped listening to the woman. Tearing her eyes away from the redhead, Carol shifted her attention back to the conversation, making an effort to seem interested and resisting the urge to glance in Natasha's direction again.

A few minutes later, after her friend left to get a refill, Carol took a moment to scan the room, spotting the redhead on the other side. She was surrounded by her own gaggle of people and in the middle of a conversation with Thor. Carol couldn't help but notice how the other woman's fiery auburn hair caught the light, and how her smile lit up her face. She let her gaze roam, her eyes following every curve and contour of the redhead's body. Laughing at something the large man said, Natasha turned her head in Carol's direction, and their eyes locked.

Carol felt her whole body flush as they gazed at each other across the room. She was honestly astounded by the physical reaction the other woman could still ellicite from her. Just as she was contemplating walking over, her forgotten friend suddenly returned from the bar. At the same time, Thor placed his hand on Natasha's shoulder, and they were both forced to turn back to their respective conversations.

Over the next hour, they continued to catch each other's gazes, but one or both of them always seemed to be trapped in a conversation. Finally getting a breather, Carol scanned the room and was thrilled to see the redhead alone at the bar, leaning against a stool with her back to the crowd. Making her way to the other side of the room, she strolled up to the bar, taking the stool next to Natasha. The redhead didn't turn her head, but to Carol's delight she could tell the other woman was smiling. She pretended to study the array of bottles decorating the wall behind the bar.

"So..." she ventured, "come here often?"

She heard Natasha chuckle.

"Please tell me that's not actually how you pick up women."

Carol smiled to herself.

"You know... before I met you, I was actually known to be quite the charmer."

"Really," the redhead responded coyly.

"Yep. But around you, I basically turn into a walking idiot..."

Natasha laughed out loud at that. Carol laughed too, knowing it was completely true.

"Well, you have me feeling like a teenager so I guess we're even," the redhead replied, finally turning her head to look at Carol.

The other woman was even more beautiful up close, and as she looked into Natasha's sparkling emerald eyes, Carol realized she had no interest in returning to the party.

"You wanna get out of here?" she asked.

"What did you have in mind?" the redhead answered, her eyes growing darker as she came closer.

Swallowing, Carol struggled to keep her train of thought.

"Well, I'm petty sure you still owe me a tour of the gardens..." she tried to say nonchalantly, as her heart started to pound in her chest.

Natasha smirked.

"You're right, I do don't I?"

"You do. Shall we?" Carol asked, holding out her hand to the redhead.

Natasha took it with no hesitation.

Without a single goodbye, they made their way to the door, walking out into the warm summer night, hand in hand. They talked easily as they made their way to the gardens, ignoring the surprised looks from passerbys. Carol didn't care what anyone thought, her and Natasha were finally alone and everything else just melted into the background.

Entering the gardens, she took a deep breath, letting the array of sweet fragrances fill her lungs. It was even more pungent than the last time she had been here. Squeezing her hand, Natasha led her to a spot by the far wall and Carol recognized the bench immediately. The redhead turned to look at her, a self-deprecating smirk on her face.

"Despite what happened here before, this has always been my favorite spot."

Carol looked at the bench and then shrugged.

"All in the past," she replied, giving the redhead a reassuring smile.

Looking around, she could understand the appeal. The spot was somewhat secluded, situated off the beaten path, away from the usual foot traffic. Nestled in between two large trees, and covered in dappled moonlight, stood the bench they had sat on so long ago. As a warm breeze ruffled the leaves overhead, Carol looked up and realized she could hear music from the party coming from the nearby building. The band had apparently shifted gears and was playing a slow ballad. She smiled to herself, appreciating the impeccable timing.

"This is a beautiful spot... what is that amazing smell?" Carol asked, taking another deep breath. She didn't remember the place smelling so good last time.

"Petunias," Natasha replied, walking over to a plant covered in purple flowers. 

She watched as the redhead picked a flower and held it up to her face, breathing in the sweet fragrance. As the breeze gently swept Natasha's hair back from her face, Carol saw the smallest smile on the other woman's lips. She looked happy, almost serene, and Carol was struck by the pure beauty of the moment.

She gazed at the other woman for a moment longer, and then quietly walked up behind Natasha, slipping her arms around the redhead's waist. She felt the other woman instantly relax into the embrace, smiling as Natasha placed her own arms over Carol's. Leaning in closer, Carol softly kissed the other woman's neck, feeling the redhead shiver slightly.

With the music from the party still playing in the background, she realized they were swaying, almost imperceptibly, to the slow beat. Surrounded by the sweet aroma of the flowers and intoxicated by the warmth of the woman in her arms, Carol felt her emotions flare. She had never felt more sure about anything in her life, and suddenly she couldn't keep it in any longer.

"I love you, Natasha," she softly whispered, surprised at how liberating it felt to finally say it out loud.

The other woman stopped moving and turned around slowly, her emerald eyes suddenly filled with emotion. Assuming she had caught the redhead off guard, Carol couldn't help but smile.

"It's ok, you don't have to--"

"I love you too," Natasha said softly, her voice faltering slightly.

Stunned, Carol felt breathless as she gazed at the other woman. For some reason she hadn't expected reciprocation so quickly, but as the redhead's words sunk in, she felt what she could only describe as euphoria.

"You do?" she asked, unable to stop the grin from spreading across her face.

"I have for awhile, but there was just never a good time to say it," the redhead replied, bringing her hand up to caress Carol's cheek.

"Yeah... we seem to have that problem..."

She trailed off as Natasha suddenly moved in closer, her eyes glistening in the moonlight as she leaned in and kissed Carol. It was a slow but passionate kiss, and she felt her body respond immediately. Wrapping her arms tightly around Natasha's waist, she pulled the other woman closer, deepening the kiss. As the redhead slid her arms around Carol's neck, she felt her heart start to pound, and the energy inside of her start to smolder.

After being denied the opportunity to get any time alone with the other woman, it was exhilarating to finally feel Natasha's soft lips and warm body pressed against her own. She had never been so drawn to anyone in her entire life. As the kiss grew more heated, Carol suddenly felt overwhelmed by the feelings simmering inside of her. Giving in to the longing that had been suppressed for far too long, she gripped Natasha's waist, moving them backwards until they crashed into the closest tree. The redhead moaned as Carol pressed in closer, her breathing growing heavier as they kissed hungrily.

As the heat between them started to become unbearable, she felt the redhead release her grip to slide her hands slowly down Carol's back. She moaned involuntarily, feeling the redhead's nails scrape through the thin fabric of her shirt. Reaching the bottom hem, Natasha hesitated only for a second before she slid her hands underneath the shirt. Carol gasped into the kiss, the sudden feeling of the other woman's hands on her bare skin sending uncontrollable shivers down her spine. 

She moved her hands down to grasp Natasha's hips as their bodies started to move in synch together. Breaking the kiss the other woman pressed her head back against the tree, moaning loudly. Carol lowered her head and slowly kissed her way down the redhead's neck, the sound of the other woman's pleasure threatening to make her lose all self control. Just as she reached the redhead's collarbone, Natasha abruptly brought her hands up to cup Carol's face, her chest heaving and her eyes dark.

"Take me somewhere we won't be interrupted," she breathed.

Carol managed to nod once and then pulled away, grasping the other woman's hand as they left the gardens behind.

\-----

Natasha stared at her reflection in the mirror, looking herself over. It had been awhile since she had a reason to dress up, and even longer since she had someone to dress up for. Feeling the butterflies in her stomach start to stir she smirked to herself, Carol still had the ability to make her feel like a teenager.

She was late, of course, but the party wasn't really a priority for her. Even so, Natasha knew she had to make an appearance. It was important, after all, to celebrate surviving the latest crisis. She was alive and well, and in her line of work that was never a guarantee. Although she had to admit, she was even more motivated to stay alive now.

The only thing that really mattered to her tonight was finally getting some time alone with the blonde. The trip home had been completely uneventful, they had barely had the opportunity for a quick kiss here and there. It was maddening, and Clint's endless barage of embarrassing stories didn't help. Although watching some of Carol's reactions had been quite humorous and adorable.

Giving herself one last once-over, Natasha slipped on her heels and left her quarters, making her way to the party. As she approached the venue, she could hear the music coming from within, and realized that the celebration was indeed in full swing. As she stepped up to the door, it suddenly occurred to her that she wasn't actually sure Carol would be at the party. After all the earlier fanfare accompanying their return, and the subsequent debriefing, they had completely forgotten to discuss it. Deciding she would find the blonde later, if needed, she opened the door and stepped inside.

The live band was the first thing she noticed, it was rare to actually have one, and then she saw just how crowded it was. To her surprise the entire compound seemed to be in attendance. Making her way farther into the room, Natasha scanned the crowd, smiling inwardly as she noticed several heads turn in her direction. Apparently she had made the right wardrobe choice.

Maintaining her slow stroll, she continued to scan the room until her eyes finally found what they were looking for. Carol was standing on the other side of the room, having a conversation with one of her friends. The blonde was dressed in black slacks and a silky shirt that showed far more cleavage than Natasha was expecting. She stopped walking abruptly, unable to stop her eyes from roving over the other woman's fit athletic form.

"Natasha!" she heard a man's deep voice boom, and forced herself to tear her eyes away, just in time to see Thor walking towards her.

He had obviously broke out his immortal booze, or whatever the hell he called it, and was in a very jovial mood.

"You look stunning, woman," he said, smiling and holding out his massive arms.

"Thank you," she smirked, "enjoying the party?"

"Absolutely," he replied, giving her a very uncoordinated wink.

Several minutes later Natasha was surrounded by a small group of people, all talking excitedly about the recent events and eager to hear more details from her. Thor was especially interested, since he had been away on his own adventure and missed out on all the "fun" as he put it. Evading their questions, she directed most of the attention back on the large man, who was more than willing to take the spotlight. Thor's stories were usually quite entertaining, and she couldn't help but smile at his animated storytelling. Laughing at a particularly funny part, Natasha chanced a look in Carol's direction, and was met with warm chestnut eyes.

Gazing at the other woman, she felt her heart start to pound in her chest, and a familiar warmth spread throughout her body. Carol had gone completely still, her eyes never leaving Natasha's. She was tempted to walk away from the small group surrounding her, suddenly feeling the urge to grab the blonde and leave; but just at that moment Carol's friend came back and Thor grasped her shoulder, pulling her attention back into the conversation.

After what felt like eternity, Natasha finally found herself alone and took the opportunity to make her way to the bar. For the last hour, she and the blonde had exchanged fleeting glances, each subsequent gaze making her more antsy. Holding her drink, Natasha leaned against the bar with her back to the room, listening to the sounds of merriment all around her. Her ears perked up as she heard someone approach from behind, and to her everlasting relief and delight, it was Carol who sat down on the stool next to her. Feeling a smile and, annoyingly, a blush spread across her face, Natasha decided not to look at the other woman just yet.

"So..." she heard the blonde say, "come here often?"

She chuckled at the woman's unapologetic cheesiness.

"Please tell me that's not actually how you pick up women."

Judging by the brief pause, Natasha could tell Carol was smiling.

"You know... before I met you, I was actually known to be quite the charmer."

"Really," she responded, trying to sound coy, and not surprised in the least.

"Yep. But around you, I basically turn into a walking idiot..."

Natasha laughed out loud before she could stop herself. After witnessing her own embarrassing behavior, it was a relief to learn she had a similar effect on the other woman.

"Well, you have me feeling like a teenager, so I guess we're even," she replied, turning her head to look at Carol.

The blonde was smiling, her warm eyes twinkling in a way that made Natasha want to leave the party immediately.

"You wanna get out of here?" Carol suddenly asked, as if reading her thoughts.

"What did you have in mind?" she answered, taking a step towards the other woman. Natasha had to consciously resist the urge to let her eyes roam where they so desperately wanted to, and it became even harder when she saw the faintest glow appear in the blonde's eyes.

"Well, I'm petty sure you still owe me a tour of the gardens..." Carol replied.

Natasha smirked, the tour was definitely overdue.

"You're right, I do don't I?"

"You do. Shall we?" Carol asked, holding out her hand.

Natasha took it without a second thought. At this point she didn't care who saw them or what anyone thought. She knew what she wanted, and that was all that mattered. Leaving the party without even a single goodbye to anyone, they walked to the gardens holding hands. As they approached the entrance, Natasha squeezed the other woman's hand, knowing exactly where she wanted to take the blonde. Despite the unfortunate events that had taken place there previously, it was still her favorite spot in the gardens and she wanted nothing more than to share it with Carol.

As the bench came into view, Natasha saw recognition flash in the other woman's eyes.

"Despite what happened here before, this has always been my favorite spot," she explained, hoping the blonde would be ok with it.

Carol shrugged, her body language remaining relaxed.

"All in the past," the blonde replied, smiling.

Natasha let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. In all her time living at the compound, she had never shared this place with anyone. To her knowledge, no one even knew she came here. The night was warm, and the entire place was bathed in glowing moonlight. As a soft breeze whispered through the trees overhead, she realized she could still hear the music from the party. A soft ballad was playing, and she couldn't help but smile to herself. Without meaning to, she had apparently brought Carol somewhere very romantic.

"This is a beautiful spot..." the other woman commented after looking around for a moment, "what is that amazing smell?"

Natasha had noticed it the moment she entered the gardens. The flowers were in full bloom this time of year.

"Petunias," she replied, walking over to pick a flower from a nearby plant.

Holding it up to her face she breathed in deeply, letting the sweet fragrance wash over her. Natasha smiled to herself, remembering the time Carol had tricked her into a date, a date they were only now finally enjoying. Charmer indeed.

Hearing the blonde come up behind her, Natasha felt her entire body relax as the other woman slid her arms around her waist. Bringing her hands up, she placed them over Carol's arms, hugging the other woman closer. She felt her breath catch as the blonde leaned in closer, her warm lips gently kissing the side of Natasha's neck as they swayed slowly to the soft music.

It had been so long since they had had a moment like this. For days she had longed for the chance to be alone with the blonde, to be able to feel the other woman's warmth and hold her close. She felt the blonde raise her head slightly, expecting something adorably cheesy to come out of the other woman's mouth, but instead, Carol whispered softly into her ear.

"I love you, Natasha."

Stunned, she froze, completely caught off guard by the blonde's words. As her heart started to hammer in her chest Natasha suddenly felt like she was out of breath. Turning around, she stared at the blonde, momentarily dumbstruck. For some reason, of all the places she had almost said the same thing to the blonde, it hadn't occurred to her to say it here. Gazing at her, Carol smiled, her eyes twinkling in the moonlight.

"It's ok, you don't have to--" the blonde started to say, and Natasha realized she was obviously giving the other woman the wrong impression.

"I love you too," she said softly, relieved and exhilarated to finally say it out loud.

It was Carol's turn to look stunned. Natasha watched as a soft glow appeared in the other woman's eyes.

"You do?" the blonde asked, her smile widening.

Natasha brought her hand up to caress the other woman's cheek, feeling the emotions inside of her start to surge as she heard the surprise in Carol's voice.

"I have for awhile, but there was just never a good time to say it," she replied, suddenly needing to show the other woman just how deep her feelings went.

"Yeah... we seem to have that problem..."

Unable to wait a second longer, Natasha leaned in and kissed the blonde, letting everything she was feeling rush to the surface. Without missing a beat the other woman pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. She wrapped her arms around Carol's neck, feeling her heart start to swell and her body yearn for more. She needed more.

Apparently thinking the same thing, Natasha felt Carol's grip around her waist tighten as the other woman suddenly moved them backwards. She moaned as her back hit the soft bark of a tree, her breathing growing heavier and her skin tingling. She kissed the other woman hungrily, feeling her self control start to slip away.

Overwhelmed by her desire to feel more, she released her grip around the blonde's neck to run her hands slowly down Carol's back. The other woman moaned, and Natasha had to resist the urge to dig her nails in, feeling the muscles under her fingers flex. Reaching the bottom hem, she slid her hands underneath, desperate to feel Carol's warm skin. The blonde gasped into the kiss and shivered, the sensation making Natasha's whole body ache for more.

The feeling was amplified as she felt the other woman's body start to move against her own. Breaking the kiss, Natasha pressed her head back against the tree, moaning as the heat between them intensified. As Carol's lips dropped to her neck, she felt her whole body flush and realized she was about two seconds away from ripping the other woman's shirt off. Calling on every ounce of self restraint she had left, she brought her hands up to cup the blonde's face. Carol's dark eyes were smoldering, and Natasha felt her knees going weak.

"Take me somewhere we won't be interrupted," she managed to say.

Carol nodded once and then pulled away, taking Natasha's hand as they left the gardens behind.

\-----


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOTE THE RATING CHANGE!
> 
> The moment we've all been waiting for...
> 
> You're welcome.

\-----  
They barely made it to Carol's quarters.

The moment the door closed, Natasha grabbed her and kissed her with such ferocity, Carol almost staggered backwards. She matched the redhead's fervor, pulling Natasha closer as they crashed into the nearest wall. Kissing the other woman passionately, she felt the energy within her ignite as the heat between them began to grow rapidly. They were finally alone, for the first time ever. Which meant they didn't have to hide, or be discreet, or stop.  
\-----  
With their bodies nearly flush against each other, Natasha kissed the other woman hungrily, feeling all her self-restraint quickly slipping away. She had never felt such urgency, such a primal need to be with someone; she wanted Carol so badly she could hardly think straight. The other woman's touch was electrifying, the warmth emanating from her intoxicating. Needing more, Natasha pulled away suddenly, locking eyes with the blonde as she slowly brought her hands up to her blouse.  
\-----  
Carol watched, captivated, as Natasha slowly unbuttoned her shirt, her dark emerald gaze never wavering. The redhead was flushed, her breathing heavy as she continued her slow progress downward. As the blouse fell away to expose the other woman's black lace bra and smooth fair skin, Carol drank in the sight, feeling momentarily dumbstruck. She let her eyes rove over Natasha's body, feeling her own start to hum in response.  
\-----  
As the blonde's gaze slowly drifted downward, seemingly taking in every contour, Natasha felt her heart start to race. She had never been so vulnerable with any lover, and was shocked by how arousing it was. She felt her whole body flush as the other woman lifted her gaze, her dark chestnut eyes smoldering as she slipped her arms around Natasha's exposed torso. Feeling Carol's warm hands caress her bare skin, Natasha involuntarily shivered, her need to be touched suddenly overwhelming.  
\-----  
Unable to resist even a moment longer, Carol pulled the redhead closer and kissed her, pressing herself against the other woman's heated skin. As she ran her fingers slowly up the redhead's naked back, Natasha moaned softly and reached down, slipping her hands underneath Carol's shirt. Before she could begin to explore, Carol pulled back, holding the redhead's gaze as she pulled the shirt up over her head and threw it unceremoniously onto the floor. With her heart pounding in her chest, she watched as the other woman's eyes prowled over her exposed skin.  
\-----  
Natasha stared shamelessly, almost forgetting to breathe. Carol was even more stunning than she had ever imagined. In addition to toned shoulders and arms, a flat stomach, and perfectly smooth skin, the other woman radiated strength and confidence. On some level, Natasha realized, that's what had attracted her from the beginning. And now here they were, together at last, and there was only one thing she needed to know. Taking a step closer, she reached out and gently placed her hands on the blonde's ribs, feeling the muscles flex under her touch.  
\-----  
Carol had to stifle a gasp as the redhead's fingers gently brushed over her skin, the sensation suddenly becoming more intimate as the other woman lifted her gaze. She felt her heart flutter at the slight concern she saw in Natasha's dark eyes, and realized immediately what the other woman wanted to know.

"All healed," she smiled, her voice hoarse.

The look of relief that flashed across Natasha's face was so fleeting, Carol barely had time to register it before they were kissing again. As their lips crashed over and over and their touches grew more needy, finally she could take it no more. Pulling away abruptly, she bent down and scooped the redhead into her arms, moving them swiftly to the bed.  
\-----  
The moment Natasha felt the soft bedspread beneath her she wrapped her arms tightly around Carol's neck, pulling the other woman down with her. As they fell in a heap on the bed, she kissed the blonde fiercely, relishing the feeling of the other woman's weight on top of her. Running her hands over Carol's strong shoulders, she pressed their bodies closer, the sensation of the blonde's naked skin against her own sending ripples of pleasure all the way down to her toes. With her body aching and desperate for more, Natasha slowly slid her hands down to the other woman's waist.  
\-----  
Feeling the redhead's fingers grasp the waistband of her pants, Carol couldn't help but groan as a delicious tingling sensation ran down her spine. Pulling back, she held the other woman's heated gaze as she reached down and deftly unzipped the redhead's skirt. Adjusting her position, Carol slowly pulled the garment off, her eyes never leaving Natasha's as she slipped off the bed to unbutton her pants. Letting them fall to the floor, she crawled back onto the bed, feeling the energy within her surge as the redhead's simmering gaze drifted down the length of her body. Leaning down she claimed the other woman's lips, kissing Natasha slowly and deeply.  
\-----  
Gripping the back of the blonde's head, Natasha wrapped her legs tightly around Carol's waist and squeezed, causing them both to gasp. Everything felt so unbelievably good she could hardly stand it. Clinging to the other woman she moaned as the blonde pressed closer, the aching between her legs quickly becoming unbearable as their bodies moved as one. Reaching her breaking point, she shifted her weight suddenly, flipping the other woman with a practiced maneuver. Straddling the blonde, she sat up, watching Carol's slightly dazed expression as she reached behind her and unclasped her bra.  
\-----  
Transfixed, Carol stared as the redhead removed her bra and tossed it onto the floor, her breath hitching as she let her eyes drift down the other woman's bare torso. Natasha was by far the most beautiful woman she had ever been with. Lifting her gaze, Carol found the redhead's eyes, struck by the naked vulnerability and adoration she saw there. Her heart pounded in her chest as they held each other's gaze, both of them wordlessly acknowledging the weight of the moment. As Natasha leaned down to gently run her fingers along Carol's jawline, she felt her heart soar, adding fuel to the desire that was already coursing through her.  
\-----  
Natasha felt her own emotions swell as Carol gazed up at her, the love and devotion in the blonde's eyes taking her breath away. Holding the other woman's face tenderly, she leaned down and kissed the blonde, letting every sensation wash over her; the scent of the other woman, the feel of her warm skin, the sound of her breathing, and the taste of her lips. Natasha gripped the blonde tightly as they moved together, desperate to feel every inch of the other woman against her body. As Carol's strong hands slowly ran down her back, Natasha groaned, grinding her hips hard into the other woman as she felt the blonde's nails scrape against her skin.  
\-----  
Gasping, Carol broke the kiss and let her head fall back onto the bed, moaning as she felt Natasha's lips move to her neck. She closed her eyes, her lust burning through her like fire as the redhead continued to move lower, each kiss more deliciously searing than the last. She felt her breath catch as Natasha's lips reached her chest, her body shivering slightly as the other woman's breath tickled her skin. Feeling the redhead pause she opened her eyes, realizing what Natasha was waiting for. Reaching behind her she unfastened her bra, her eyes watching Natasha's as she slowly pulled it off and dropped it onto the floor.  
\-----  
Natasha felt her heart start to pound as her eyes hungrily devoured the sight of the other woman's soft curves, her desire intensifying as she felt the blonde's eyes watching her. Carol was breathing hard, her skin flushed with an almost imperceptible glow. Reaching out, she gently cupped the blonde's breasts, feeling the shiver that ran down the other woman's spine go through her own body. Bending down, she slowly ran her tongue over the sensitive skin, the gasp it elicited immediately heightening her own arousal. Sliding her hands lower, Natasha slipped her fingers under the waistband of Carol's underwear, quickly removing the last remaining barriers between them. Leaning down she kissed the blonde's heated skin, her tongue eliciting more moans as she slowly made her way back up the other woman's body.  
\-----  
Close to losing her mind, Carol grabbed the redhead and pulled her down for a searing kiss, gasping as she felt Natasha's leg slip between her own. Her body was aching, her energy pulsating, every nerve ending on fire as the other woman pressed herself closer. She had never been so aroused or wanted anything so bad in her entire life. She ran her hands through Natasha's soft wavy hair as they writhed against each other, the heat between their naked bodies growing exponentially. As the throbbing between her legs grew to an unbearable level, Carol took one of the redhead's hands in her own and slowly slid it down her abdomen, guiding Natasha to where she so desperately needed her. Breaking the kiss, the other woman pulled back, just far enough for Carol to see the lust blazing in her dark emerald eyes.  
\-----  
Holding the other woman's gaze, Natasha slowly ran her hand down Carol's taut stomach, the intense heat radiating off the blonde's skin making her palm tingle. Adjusting her position, she let her fingers roam, caressing every curve and contour as she continued her downward progression. Sliding her hand down to the blonde's leg, she watched the smoldering glow in the other woman's eyes intensify as she reached the inside of Carol's thigh. With her heart pounding in her chest, Natasha paused only for a second before she slipped a finger through the blonde's folds, her breath catching at the ample wetness that greeted her.  
\-----  
Moaning, Carol pressed her head back into the mattress, squeezing her eyes shut as Natasha found the spot where she needed her most. As the other woman ran a finger over her aching core, Carol gasped, feeling her whole body shudder. The redhead used a gentle touch at first, only applying more pressure as Carol's breathing grew heavier and her hips began to rock. She could feel her legs starting to tremble, her chest heaving as the heat low in her belly continued to build. Unable to control herself she whimpered, each delicious stroke sending her closer to the edge. Feeling the other woman's fingers slide lower, Carol let her legs fall open, her body quaking with raw need and anticipation. In one smooth motion she felt Natasha enter her, sending waves of intense pleasure rushing up into her belly and down to her toes.  
\-----  
As the blonde threw her head back and groaned, Natasha felt her own core throb in response. Carol was writhing, moaning, the muscles of her toned frame rippling with every thrust. Unable to look away, she watched in awe as the most powerful person she had ever known came completely undone by her touch. Leaning down Natasha captured Carol's lips with her own, her heart threatening to beat out of her chest as she kissed the other woman deeply. Sliding her fingers in farther, she continued to stroke the blonde, her thrusts slow and deliberate as she let Carol's hips set the rhythm.  
\-----  
Feeling the redhead go deeper inside of her, Carol's brain went to mush, everything disappearing except the sensation of Natasha filling her, each thrust sending delectable energy coursing through her like fire in her veins. Abruptly pulling away from the kiss she moaned loudly against Natasha's ear, releasing the other woman's neck to grip the sheet beside her. She gasped as the redhead found her throbbing core, using her thumb to send Carol into an absolute frenzy. Feeling herself start to clench, she arched her back off the bed, every part of her desperate for her release.  
\-----  
Realizing the blonde was close, Natasha increased her pace as the other woman began to tremble. With one hard thrust Carol finally tumbled over the edge, the muscles in her neck straining as she called out over and over again. Natasha gasped as she felt the other woman's spasms reverberate through her own body, the sound of Carol's release nearly making her fall over the edge with her. Finally, the other woman stilled, her body going limp except for the rise and fall of her heaving chest, and the hand that was still gripping the sheet. Taking the blonde's glowing hand in her own, Natasha interlaced their fingers as she leaned down to softly nuzzle the other woman's cheek.  
\-----  
With her body still aching with residual pleasure, Carol opened her eyes, smiling as the other woman brought their lips together for a slow heated kiss. Natasha was breathing heavily, her body radiating heat and unreleased tension. Wrapping her arms around the redhead's waist, Carol pulled the other woman fully on top of her, deepening the kiss as Natasha moaned. Grasping the redhead's hips she pushed herself up, adjusting her position until the other woman was straddling her. Without missing a beat, Natasha wrapped her legs hungrily around Carol's waist, her body already starting to move in anticipation as Carol slipped her hand between them.  
\-----  
Gasping, Natasha threw her head back, the blonde's touch instantly sending a pulse of intense pleasure rushing through her. Clutching the other woman tightly against her breasts, she squeezed her eyes shut, her entire body throbbing with every stroke. As the pressure began to build rapidly, she reached down and cupped the blonde's face, bringing them face to face to gaze into simmering chestnut eyes.

"I need you inside me," she whispered, barely able to get the words out.

Without hesitation, Carol slowly slid two fingers inside her, the glow in the other woman's smoldering eyes growing brighter as Natasha let out a throaty groan. Pressing herself harder against the blonde, she felt Carol go deeper, the sensation so overwhelming her whole body shuddered. Pressing their foreheads together, she clung to the other woman, moaning uncontrollably as her hips began to rock.  
\-----  
Moving her other hand to the small of Natasha's back, Carol steadied the other woman as the redhead's movements began to quicken. She felt her breath catch as Natasha's nails ran down her back, her fingers going deeper as the redhead came down hard. Finding the other woman's heated core, Carol applied gentle pressure, a shiver of excitement running though her as Natasha called out her name. Feeling the redhead's hips begin to buck, Carol held on tight, her thrusts going deeper as the other woman's gasps grew louder.  
\-----  
With her whole body aching for release, Natasha squeezed her legs tighter around the blonde, each thrust sending delicious ripples of pleasure further inside of her. Throwing her head back, she whimpered, her breaths coming in short harsh gasps as she finally reached the edge. Arching her back she came loudly and uninhibited, gasping for air as wave after wave of sweet ecstasy crashed over her. Clutching the blonde tightly against her writhing body, she laid herself bare, letting every feeling and sensation surge through her. As her body finally began to relax, she loosened her grip on the blonde, taking a shaky breath as the last waves slowly ebbed away. Still breathing hard, she ran her fingers through Carol's damp hair, her emotions suddenly threatening to overwhelm her as she felt the blonde tenderly kiss her neck.  
\-----  
Feeling the redhead tremble slightly, Carol wrapped both her arms around Natasha, holding the other woman close. She closed her eyes, feeling a familiar warmth spread through her as the redhead eventually stilled. Swaying slightly, they held each other for a few moments, Natasha's hands running softly through her hair as Carol stroked the other woman's back. Finally, the redhead leaned back slowly, just far enough to press their foreheads together.

"I've never done that before," Natasha said quietly, her voice low and husky.

Carol couldn't help but smile.

"Pretty sure you have," she chuckled, nuzzling the other woman.

Laughing softly the redhead pulled away, her emerald eyes shining as she reached up to gently caress Carol's cheek. 

"No, I mean, I've never made love to someone before."

Stunned, Carol stared at the other woman, her heart suddenly pounding as she absorbed the meaning behind Natasha's words. It was heartbreaking and wonderful at the same time, and for a moment she had no idea how to respond, until the realization hit her.

"Neither have I," she said softly, to Natasha and herself.

As a smile spread across the redhead's face Carol reached up and kissed her, pulling the other woman down on top of her as they toppled backwards onto the mattress.   
\-----  
They kissed slowly and languidly until Natasha couldn't hold her head up anymore, her muscles protesting as exhaustion finally started to settle in. Resting her head on top of Carol's chest, she listened to the other woman's heartbeat, the sound as soothing as the blonde's warm skin.

"Mmmm... you have no idea how long I've wanted this," she murmured contentedly, her eyelids growing heavy.

She felt the other woman chuckle.

"Probably as long as I have," Carol replied sleepily, kissing the top of Natasha's head.

Feeling a grin spread across her face, she closed her eyes, breathing in the blonde's scent. As the other woman gently wrapped her arms around her, Natasha slowly let herself drift off to sleep, knowing she was finally where she was meant to be.  
\-----


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it guys! It's time for this lovely story to come to an end. Thanks for all your kudos and comments, it's been fun! :)

\-----

Carol awoke gradually the next morning, feeling content and surprisingly rested. Opening her eyes, she was met by the warm glow of the rising sun outside her window, and a pair of twinkling emerald green eyes. Natasha was curled up beside her, watching Carol with a small smile on her lips. Feeling her own smile spread across her face, she turned her body towards the redhead, bringing them face to face.

"Hey you," she said softly, drinking in the sight of the other woman naked in her bed, "how long have you been awake?" 

"Not long," Natasha replied in a low husky voice, her eyes glittering in the early morning light.

"Did you sleep ok?"

"You could say that," the redhead replied, smirking adorably as she propped herself up on one elbow.

Carol could feel her body already starting to tingle as Natasha scooted closer and leaned down, kissing her softly. The feeling of the other woman's lips on her own proved to be an instant wake-up call. She wasn't usually a morning person, but she was more than willing to let the redhead convince her otherwise. After a moment, Natasha pulled back, a mixture of adoration and desire in her eyes as she slowly ran her fingers along Carol's jawline.

"Do you know your eyes glow when you're turned on?" Natasha asked suddenly, her brow furrowing slightly.

"What? Seriously?" Carol blurted out, unsure whether she should be embarrassed or amused.

The smile that spread across the other woman's face made it clear Natasha was on board with the latter.

"Nobody's ever told you that?" the redhead asked, her eyes lighting up with amusement.

"No," she answered, chuckling at the other woman's obvious delight, "that's kind of embarrassing."

Natasha's smile turned mischievous as she slowly leaned down again, placing a soft kiss in just the right spot under Carol's ear.

"Actually," the other woman purred, placing the next kiss a little lower, "I think it's sexy."

Carol shivered as Natasha's lips drifted lower, the sensation of feather-light kisses on her sensitive skin sending goosebumps all the way down to her toes. As the redhead lifted her head and their eyes met, Carol reached up and pulled the the other woman down for a slow heated kiss, her embarrassment long forgotten. As her heart began to pound in her chest, she slid her hands down the redhead's body, her breathing growing heavier as their kisses grew hungrier.

Grasping Natasha's waist, Carol flipped them in one smooth motion, her breath catching as she suddenly felt the other woman's heated skin against her own. The redhead wrapped her arms tightly around Carol's neck and pulled her closer, quickly amplifying the desire that was already threatening to overwhelm her senses. As the heat between them began to grow unbearable, Carol broke the kiss and let her lips travel lower as Natasha's fingers moved to tangle in her hair. Eliciting a gasp as she reached the other woman's breasts, she moaned involuntarily as the redhead tightened her grip. Continuing her downward progress, Carol vaguely remembered there was something they were supposed to do that morning, but as she ran her tongue slowly down the other woman's stomach and Natasha's breathing grew heavier, she was soon too occupied to care what it was.

An hour later, Carol watched as the redhead zipped her skirt back into place, her auburn hair still slightly damp from their shared shower. Clean and fully dressed, Natasha was once again the picture of poise and grace. As the other woman adjusted her blouse, Carol smiled to herself, realizing she was staring. Even after seeing Natasha completely exposed, she couldn't seem to take her eyes off the redhead. Unlike some of her previous morning afters, there was no hint of awkwardness between them, and for once she wasn't trying to make her exit as fast as possible. Everything felt completely natural with the other woman, as if waking up and getting ready for work together was an every day occurrence for them. If she was being honest, Carol realized she wanted it to be.

Noticing something on the dresser, Natasha walked over and picked up a framed photo, studying it. It was a picture of Carol with her best friend Maria, the two of them smiling broadly as they posed proudly on the tarmac. The redhead gazed at the photo, a small smile forming on her lips as she absently rubbed the frame.

"So, you actually were a Captain," Natasha quipped in an amused tone.

"I was," Carol answered, smiling to herself. The photo brought back many fond memories, and instantly transported her to a time when just climbing into a cockpit filled her with joy. It felt like so long ago.

Placing the photo back on the dresser, the other woman walked over, a slight swagger in her step as she looked Carol up and down. Coming closer, the redhead reached out and placed her hand over the star on Carol's chest, the other woman's touch instantly kicking her heartbeat up a notch. Even through the layers of thick leather, she could feel her skin tingling as Natasha languidly traced the golden trim on the suit with her fingers.

"You were a fighter pilot, right?" the other woman asked casually.

Carol cleared her throat, attempting to focus.

"Yeah... although back then, women weren't allowed to fly in combat yet."

The redhead lifted her gaze, her brow furrowing slightly.

"Wasn't that ban lifted in the early 90's?"

"Maybe? I'm not sure. By then I was too busy being brainwashed on Hala."

Natasha looked at her, confusion evident in her emerald eyes.

"Wait, you served in the military during the 80's?"

"Yes..." she answered hesitantly, unsure where the other woman was headed.

Natasha cocked her head, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"How old are you?"

"How... wait, what?" she stuttered, thrown by the redhead's question.

"How old are you?" Natasha asked again, stepping back to cross her arms over her chest. The other woman raised an eyebrow, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

Honestly, Carol couldn't remember off the top of her head, but she was pretty sure she was older than the redhead. Matching the other woman's playful mood she crossed her own arms, grinning.

"You first," she challenged, fairly certain the redhead would resist giving up the information.

"I was born in 1984," Natasha responded without batting an eye.

"Oh... shit."

The other woman pinned her with a stare as Carol smiled sheepishly.

"I'm a little older than you."

"How much older?"

She started to do the math in her head.

"You're not sure?" the redhead teased.

"It's just... I haven't actually celebrated a birthday in a long time."

"Not a fan?"

"No, I mean..." she sighed, unsure how to explain. "I don't usually stay anywhere long enough to do things like celebrate birthdays. Or make friends or... you know, have a life."

The atmosphere in the room suddenly shifted as Natasha's smirk disappeared, her expression growing more serious as she took a moment to absorb the information.

"I used to live a similar life," the redhead said quietly, understanding in her voice. "Always on the move, never lingering anywhere too long. And then I finally found something that made me want to stay in one place... my family."

Natasha looked at her, her eyes full of compassion.

"I've never really had a reason to stay anywhere before," Carol admitted, holding the redhead's gaze.

The other woman was silent for a moment and then came closer, her eyes shining as she reached up to wrap her arms around Carol's neck.

"And what about now?" Natasha asked quietly, her voice slightly hesitant.

Carol stared at the redhead, knowing the answer was a simple one.

"Now I have a reason."

The moment the words were out of her mouth, Natasha suddenly grabbed her and crashed their lips together for a long, passionate kiss. Completely caught off guard, Carol staggered slightly before wrapping her arms tightly around the other woman.

"Does this mean you want me to stay?" she asked breathlessly between kisses.

She felt the redhead smile against her lips.

"If you don't, I might have to kill you," Natasha answered before kissing her again.

They kissed until Carol felt the energy within her began to smolder and she reluctantly pulled away, knowing they were about two seconds away from repeating earlier events.

"If you keep kissing me like that, we're never going to leave this room," she chuckled, pressing their foreheads together as she nuzzled the other woman.

Natasha suddenly pulled her head back, her green eyes twinkling.

"You still haven't answered the question."

"What question?" Carol furrowed her brow, confused momentarily until it came to her. "Oh right, um... let's see," she sighed, thinking. "I think I'm turning 52 this year."

The redhead's eyebrows shot up.

"52? You're 52??"

"Well, technically still 51."

"Wow. Ok... are you... aging?" the other woman asked, obviously stunned.

Carol laughed.

"Definitely. Just a little slower now," she replied, giving the redhead a wink. It had actually taken her awhile to notice.

The other woman continued to stare at her for a moment, and then slowly began to nod.

"Ok, well that will be interesting later..." Natasha said quietly.

Carol felt her heart flutter as she caught the other woman's words, unsure if Natasha had meant to say them aloud. But as she watched a slight blush appear on the redhead's cheeks, she decided not to ask for clarification. Not yet, anyway.

It took several more minutes, but finally they both emerged into the hallway and with one last lingering look, headed their separate ways. Carol made her way to the main hanger, somewhat dreading her task for the day and knowing she was going to have to pay for her lateness. Entering the large room, she immediately spied the grumpy raccoon waiting for her.

"Well well, look who decided to showed up," Rocket greeted her in his usual acerbic tone, "guess you forgot about the meeting this morning."

Carol rolled her eyes in response. So that's what she'd forgotten this morning.

"Hey fur face, I just got home from a dangerous mission, I'm allowed to sleep in."

"Sleep in... riiiiight..."

Shooting him a look over her shoulder Carol made her way to the awaiting ship, ignoring his grumblings.

It was a long day. There wasn't much fun to be had while repairing a satellite, especially when everything seemed to go wrong. As the hours ticked by, Carol found herself frequently distracted as images from the night before flashed unbidden though her mind. She knew it was ridiculous since it had only been a few hours, but she had to admit she couldn't wait to see Natasha. They had made plans to meet up after work, but unfortunately the satellite seemed to have other ideas.

As the day finally crawled to an end, and the job was at last finished, she left her crew and flew back to the compound, not even bothering to wait for a ride. Approaching her destination, Carol could see someone sitting on the lawn, looking up at the sky. She felt her heartbeat quicken when she saw it was Natasha, but felt a pang of guilt as she realized the lateness of the hour. Landing, Carol sighed heavily as she walked towards the other woman.

"Wore the helmet today, huh?" the redhead greeted her as she stood up.

Carol nodded absently, she always wore her helmet when she had to be in zero-gravity for an extended period of time.

"Keeps the hair out of my eyes... I'm sorry I'm late, we couldn't get the damn navigation system to link up to the mainframe. It took hours..."

Natasha tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled.

"It's fine, I just finished up in the gym."

"Oh yeah? I missed the show, huh?"

"Show?"

"Yeah, you beating up a bunch of guys twice your size. Very hot," she replied, cracking a smile.

Natasha laughed.

"Well, actually this time I was alone."

"Aw."

"But, you know... you're always welcome to join me..." the redhead said in a low voice, stepping closer.

Grinning, Carol slipped her arms around Natasha's waist and kissed her, instantly feeling the stress from the day start to melt away as the redhead pulled her closer. Coming home to Natasha was definitely something she could get used to.

"So, how was your day?" she asked as they pulled apart.

The other woman shrugged.

"Not too bad. Although I did have some trouble concentrating... not sure why," she smirked. "You?"

"Same," Carol smiled, "but the trip back was nice, sunset's my favorite time of day to fly."

The redhead turned her head towards the horizon, nodding.

"I know, it's beautiful this evening."

Carol completely agreed, but she wasn't looking at the sunset. The other woman's auburn hair was catching the light just right as a warm breeze brushed her long locks back away from her face. The redhead looked completely at ease, smiling as she squinted into the light. Carol felt momentarily mesmerized, and then smiled as a thought suddenly occurred to her.

"Wanna get a closer look?" she asked, cocking her head towards the horizon as Natasha turned to face her.

"You mean... fly? Now?" the other woman asked, furrowing her brow slightly.

"Yeah, come on," Carol replied.

She held her hands out to the redhead, feeling the energy within rush to the surface, spurred by her own excitement. Carol had never taken anyone flying before. It obviously wasn't an intimate act, but it was somewhat personal, and it had never occurred to her to share it with anyone. Until now. Natasha looked at her, hesitating only for a moment before she took Carol's hands in her own. She felt the redhead shiver slightly as the energy emanating from her palms flowed over the other woman's skin. Natasha seemed enthralled as she watched delicate ribbons of energy cavort over their intertwined fingers.

"How do you keep it contained?" the redhead asked as she looked up, "all this power inside of you, how do you control it?"

"I don't really, it's just a part of me now," Carol replied, shrugging. No one had ever been curious enough to ask the questions Natasha asked. "In the beginning it would sometimes get away from me, usually when I got too emotional or--"

"Riled up?" the other woman grinned.

Carol laughed.

"Or, apparently, while in the presence of certain people..." she smiled as she slipped Natasha's hands around her neck. Placing her own hands around the redhead's waist, she brought them face to face.

"Are you ready?" she asked the other woman softly.

Natasha quirked an eyebrow as a small smirk appeared on her lips.

"You do realize I've done my fair share of flying."

"Not like this," Carol chuckled as she gently lifted them off the ground.

Keeping her eyes on the redhead, she felt her heart warm at the twinkle she saw in the other woman's eyes as the ground gradually fell away beneath them. Natasha took in the scenery silently, a small smile on her lips as the wind gently tousled her hair. Drifting higher into the luminous evening sky, Carol was suddenly reminded of the last sunset they had shared, so long ago. On that evening she had stood before the other woman with a heavy heart, longing to reach out, while the silence between them spoke volumes. She couldn't help but feel immensely grateful that somehow they had ended up here, sharing their lives and a comfortable silence together. Slowing to a stop, Carol adjusted her grip and scooped the redhead into her arms, the moment unexpectedly romantic as they held each other's gaze in the light of the setting sun.

"Hold on," she said softly, feeling her heart start to race. 

As the other woman tightened her grip around Carol's neck, she turned her head towards the horizon and took off, increasing her speed gradually as they soared over the treetops below. Shifting her attention to the woman in her arms, Carol felt her breath catch at the look of pure joy she saw on the redhead's face. Natasha was grinning, her emerald eyes alive with wonder and exhilaration as the landscape streaked past far below them. Pulling the other woman closer, Carol took them higher into the evening sky, a grin spreading across her own face as they took in the incredible view all around them. She honestly couldn't remember the last time she had enjoyed flying so much.

As the sun eventually started to dip below the horizon, and the first stars began to peak through, she flew them back, reaching the compound just as the last rays were starting to fade. Carol took them down slowly, still grinning ear to ear as Natasha's eyes found her own. Landing softly, she placed the other woman's feet back on the ground and was surprised when the redhead suddenly leaned in and kissed her.

Stunned, she hesitated for a moment, unsure if she should reign in the energy that was still radiating off her or let it flow freely. Intrigued, she chose the latter and pulled Natasha closer, deepening the kiss as the redhead ran her fingers through her hair. Feeling the other woman press closer, she let the sensation wash over and through her as the air itself seemed to shimmer around them. Finally they pulled apart, both of them breathless as the glow gradually began to fade away. Natasha held her gaze as she moved her hands to cup Carol's face.

"I love you," the redhead said softly, her eyes sparkling in the dim light.

"I love you too," Carol replied, feeling a familiar warmth spread through her as Natasha smiled.

After a beat, the other woman let go and slipped her hand into Carol's.

"So... dinner?" the redhead asked as they started to walk towards the entrance to the compound.

"What did you have in mind?" she replied, suddenly remembering they had planned to have dinner together.

"My quarters," Natasha said casually.

Carol chuckled.

"Sounds perfect," she answered, grinning. She had a sneaking suspicion food was not going to be involved.

Breathing in the warm air, with the redhead close beside her, she couldn't remember the last time she had felt so content. As they stepped through the door hand in hand, the last rays of sunlight faded behind them, and Carol knew she was finally home.

\-----

Natasha awoke to the warm glow of the morning sun as it trickled into the room through the partially closed blinds. She was on her side, her back pressed against the sleeping blonde who was curled up beside her. Natasha wasn't really a fan of spooning, she thought the name was ridiculous enough, but she couldn't deny how soothing it felt. Carol's arm was loosely draped around her waist, her breath soft and warm against Natasha's neck. Closing her eyes, she smiled to herself, taking a moment to enjoy the calm she felt in the other woman's arms.

Lulled by the sound of Carol's slow, even breathing, she was close to nodding off when the blonde suddenly stirred and rolled onto her back. Missing the other woman's warmth, Natasha opened her eyes and rolled over to face the blonde. Carol was still asleep, her cheeks slightly flushed and her tousled hair catching the light just right to give it a golden hue. Shifting her gaze lower, Natasha couldn't help but notice the sheets only came up as far as the blonde's waist, and unabashedly let her eyes roam freely over the other woman's body. She had never felt the desire to gaze at a lover the morning after, but to her chagrin she found herself unable to look away.

The blonde stirred again and this time opened her eyes, smiling lazily as her gaze met Natasha's. Her chestnut eyes twinkled in the early morning light, and Natasha was once again struck by how effortlessly beautiful the other woman was. Rolling onto her side, Carol scooted closer, bringing them face to face.

"Hey you," the blonde said softly, her voice low and scratchy, "how long have you been awake?" 

"Not long," she replied easily, not wanting to give herself away.

"Did you sleep ok?"

Truth be told, it was the best night of sleep she had gotten in ages.

"You could say that," she answered, unable to hold back a smirk. 

Propping herself up on one elbow, Natasha leaned down, claiming the other woman's lips with a soft kiss. The moment they touched, she could feel her body already beginning to tingle, the sensation intensifying as Carol reached up and pulled her closer. It still surprised her how quickly the blonde could arouse her, far more than anyone else she had ever been with. Breaking the kiss, Natasha pulled back, just enough to meet the other woman's gaze as she softly caressed her face.

"Do you know your eyes glow when you're turned on?" she asked suddenly, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"What? Seriously?" Carol exclaimed, obviously taken aback.

Natasha grinned. 

"Nobody's ever told you that?" she asked, intrigued by the idea that she alone was able to elicit the reaction. It probably wasn't true, but it made her feel good anyway.

"No," Carol chuckled, "that's kind of embarrassing."

Deciding to convince the blonde otherwise, Natasha leaned down and softly kissed what she had learned was a sensitive spot just below the other woman's ear.

"Actually," she breathed, placing the next kiss a little lower, "I think it's sexy."

Natasha smiled to herself as she felt the blonde shiver. She moved lower, grazing her lips over sensitive skin as Carol's breathing began to grow heavier. Lifting her head, she found the other woman's eyes, delighted to see the familiar glow had returned. Before she could react, the blonde reached up and pulled her down, bringing their lips together for a slow heated kiss. Her body responded immediately, her heart suddenly pounding in her chest as she felt the other woman's hands move to grasp her hips.

Before she knew it, Natasha was on her back, the sudden change of scenery instantly kicking her desire into overdrive. Wrapping her arms tightly around Carol's neck, she pulled the blonde closer until their bodies were flush, the sensation of the other woman's warm naked skin against her own as exhilarating as the night before. In a haze of lust, Natasha grabbed a handful of blonde hair, gasping as she felt Carol's lips drop to her breasts. Letting her head fall back onto the pillow, she suddenly remembered she was supposed to be somewhere, but as the blonde slowly made her way lower and Natasha let her legs fall open, all other thoughts abruptly left her mind.

After the longest and most pleasurable shower in history, Natasha collected her clothing off the floor, unable to hide the smile that subsequently spread across her face. Usually when she had to look for her clothes the next morning, she was trying to leave as quickly as possible, and smiling definitely wasn't involved. But with Carol she felt comfortable and at ease. And safe. She had never been so willing to give herself to someone, physically and emotionally, and certainly never thought she'd ever trust someone with her heart.

Zipping herself up, Natasha looked around the room, her gaze falling on the dresser as a framed photo caught her eye. Walking over, she picked it up, smiling when she saw it was a picture of Carol in her Air Force flight suit, her arm draped around another woman dressed the same. Both women were beaming in their aviators, their respective jet aircraft looming in the background. Sometimes she forgot Carol used to be completely normal, but judging by the photo, the woman was certainly never ordinary.

"So, you actually were a Captain," she couldn't help but tease.

"I was," the blonde responded, a hint of nostalgia in her voice.

Placing the photo back on the dresser, she turned to see Carol dressed in her modern-day flight suit. Captain Marvel in all her glory stood before Natasha, and it was almost surreal that only a short time earlier she had been in bed with the same woman. Walking up to the blonde, she gave the suit a closer look, surprised by the amount of detail she noticed. Reaching out she placed her hand over the golden star, feeling it's raised edges against her palm. As Carol watched, she slowly traced the golden trim up and across the other woman's chest with her fingers. Natasha wasn't sure why, but she found the whole ensemble rather alluring.

"You were a fighter pilot, right?" she asked casually, noting that the blonde had gone completely still.

Carol cleared her throat before answering.

"Yeah..." the other woman answered after a beat, "although back then, women weren't allowed to fly in combat yet."

Furrowing her brow Natasha looked up, slightly confused by the blonde's answer.

"Wasn't that ban lifted in the early 90's?"

"Maybe? I'm not sure. By then I was too busy being brainwashed on Hala."

"Wait, you served in the military during the 80's?" Natasha asked.

"Yes..." Carol answered, her tone hesitant.

Looking at the blonde, Natasha cocked her head as she came to a realization she had never considered before.

"How old are you?"

"How... wait, what?" the other woman stuttered.

"How old are you?" Natasha asked again, stepping back to cross her arms playfully across her chest.

Carol grinned and assumed the same playful stance.

"You first," the blonde challenged.

"I was born in 1984."

The other woman's arms dropped to her sides.

"Oh... shit."

Natasha gave the blonde a look, her curiosity piqued.

"I'm a little older than you," Carol continued, smiling sheepishly.

"How much older?"

The other woman squinted slightly, obviously trying to do the math in her head.

"You're not sure?" Natasha teased. Carol couldn't be that much older. The woman didn't look a day over 35.

"It's just... I haven't actually celebrated a birthday in a long time."

"Not a fan?"

"No, I mean..." the blonde sighed in a way that immediately made Natasha regret her question. She watched as Carol's expression grew more serious, and somewhat sad. "I don't usually stay anywhere long enough to do things like celebrate birthdays. Or make friends or... you know, have a life," the other woman finished.

The admission was a sobering one for Natasha. Not only could she relate, but it brought up a very important question that she had been avoiding asking. The length of Carol's stay had been up the air ever since the moment she arrived. The blonde had only returned to Earth to offer a helping hand, like she did on so many worlds, but had never indicated exactly how long she was intending to stay.

"I used to live a similar life," Natasha said after a moment. "Always on the move, never lingering anywhere too long. And then I finally found something that made me want to stay in one place... my family."

Somewhere in the back of her mind, or maybe in her heart, she hoped her words would spark something in the other woman.

"I've never really had a reason to stay anywhere before," Carol said softly, watching her.

Natasha knew the moment had arrived, the one she had been secretly dreading. But it was better she found out now rather than later. Walking up to the other woman, she slid her arms around Carol's neck, uncharacteristically showing the vulnerability she felt inside.

"And what about now?" she asked quietly, feeling her heart skip a beat as the blonde stared at her.

"Now I have a reason." Carol answered simply, and it was all Natasha needed to hear.

As relief flooded through her, she grabbed the other woman and kissed her, letting everything she had been holding in suddenly pour out. The blonde staggered slightly and then wrapped her arms around Natasha's waist, returning the kiss passionately.

"Does this mean you want me to stay?" Carol asked breathlessly between kisses.

"If you don't, I might have to kill you," Natasha grinned before she kissed the other woman again.

They kissed until they were both breathless and Carol finally pulled away, her breathing heavy as she pressed their foreheads together.

"If you keep kissing me like that, we're never going to leave this room," the blonde chuckled as she softly nuzzled Natasha's cheek.

Smiling, Natasha vaguely wondered what it would take to get the other woman's suit off when a thought suddenly occurred to her.

Pulling away, she pinned the blonde with a look.

"You still haven't answered the question."

"What question?" Carol furrowed her brow, looking confused for a second before realization spread across her face. "Oh right, um... let's see," she sighed, thinking for a minute. "I think I'm turning 52 this year."

It was not the number Natasha had been expecting, and it was too late to cover up her reaction.

"52? You're 52??"

"Well, technically still 51."

"Wow. Ok..." she heard herself saying as she attempted to wrap her head around the information. "Are you... aging?" she asked uncertainly.

Carol laughed.

"Definitely. Just a little slower now," the blonde replied, her chestnut eyes twinkling as she gave Natasha a wink.

Natasha stared at the other woman, realizing that at some point, the age difference was probably going to become apparent, and not in her favor.

"Ok, well that will be interesting later..." she replied before realizing what her words may have unintentionally insinuated. It wasn't like her to think long-term, especially when it came to relationships. Thankfully the blonde either hadn't noticed, or was pretending not to. Either way, Natasha was grateful.

A short time later, they finally emerged from Carol's quarters, and after one last lingering look went their separate ways for the day. After a quick pit-stop in her quarters to change, Natasha made her way to the office area, idling wondering if anyone was going to have the balls to call her on her lateness. She got her answer when she saw Tony standing outside of the control room, and knew exactly what was coming.

"Goooood morning! Wait, is it still morning?" he asked, glancing at his watch.

Throwing him a look, she walked right past him and headed for her desk. Annoyingly, he followed.

"I guess technically it's before lunchtime. Hey, do you remember what Cap mentioned in the meeting this morning? Just wondering what your thoughts were on it?" he continued in rapid-fire, until she finally stopped and turned to face him.

"Oh that's right," he exclaimed, "you weren't there, I totally forgot, my mistake."

"Tony--"

"No, it's fine, you didn't miss anything. Really. I'm sure you had your hands full--"

"Tony!"

"By the way, I'm interested in reading your report on that debriefing we were subjected to. Or what apparently passes as a debriefing on their planet. We'll talk later," he finished, throwing her a subtle wink as he strode off.

Natasha stared after him for a moment and then made her way to her desk, inwardly groaning when she saw the stacks of paperwork that had accumulated in her extended absence. She was beginning to regret getting out of bed.

The day was full of reports - reading, writing, and filing. It was mind-numbing. Natasha had forgotten how incredibly tedious it was to fill out all the required paperwork that came with the completion of an operation. The only thing she missed about the KGB was the lack of paperwork. From time to time she would glance out the window and look up at the sky, knowing Carol was somewhere in orbit. The blonde was helping to fix one of their malfunctioning satellites, and was hopefully having a better day than Natasha.

By 6:00 pm, she was mercifully done for the day and left her desk to swing by the command center. The crew in orbit was still having problems bringing the satellite back online, so she decided to hit the gym. Forgoing her usual bag beating, she opted for a refreshing run on the treadmill instead. After a quick shower and an update from the command center, Natasha made her way outside to sit and wait on the lawn.

It was a warm evening, and the sun was slowly sinking towards the horizon, painting the sky in vibrant hues of red and orange. Looking up, she squinted as a faint pinpoint of light caught her eye. The pinpoint soon became a streak of light, and then Carol came into full view. The other woman landed in a blaze of golden energy that seemed to rival even the radiance of the sunset.

Natasha watched as the blonde's helmet retracted, letting her long hair fall lose around her face as her blinding eyes dimmed to their natural chestnut color. Carol walked towards her as the glow quickly dissipated, her face showing the stress from the day.

"Wore the helmet today, huh?" Natasha asked, standing to greet the other woman. She liked the mohawk.

Carol nodded distractedly.

"Keeps the hair out of my eyes... I'm sorry I'm late, we couldn't get the damn navigation system to link up to the mainframe. It took hours..." the blonde explained as she walked over. Maybe Natasha's day had been better after all.

"It's fine, I just finished up in the gym," she assured the other woman, giving her a smile.

"Oh yeah?" Carol asked, raising an eyebrow, "I missed the show, huh?"

"Show?"

"Yeah, you beating up a bunch of guys twice your size. Very hot," the blonde explained, giving her a smile.

Natasha laughed, glad to see the shift in Carol's mood.

"Well, actually this time I was alone."

"Aw."

"But, you know..." Natasha said as she stepped closer to the blonde, "you're always welcome to join me."

Grinning, Carol reached out and wrapped her arms around Natasha's waist, pulling her in for a soft kiss. As their lips met, she couldn't deny how much she had missed the blonde, even though it had only been a few hours. A few long hours. Pulling Carol closer she pressed her body against the other woman's, the residual energy making her skin tingle. As they slowly pulled apart Natasha absentmindedly wondered what it would be like to kiss the blonde fully charged.

"So, how was your day?" Carol asked, her eyes soft.

Natasha shrugged.

"Not too bad. Although I did have some trouble concentrating... not sure why," she answered, unable to hold back a smirk. "You?"

"Same," Carol replied, smiling, "but the trip back was nice, sunset's my favorite time of day to fly."

Turning to look at the horizon, Natasha could easily see why.

"I know, it's beautiful this evening," she mused aloud. This was absolutely the perfect time of day to fly. As if reading her thoughts, Carol suddenly spoke.

"Wanna get a closer look?" she heard the blonde ask.

She turned to face the other woman.

"You mean... fly? Now?"

"Yeah, come on."

Carol held out her hands, her palms already starting to glow with a warm golden light. Natasha had to admit she had been secretly longing for the opportunity, especially since she had been unconscious the first time. Feeling a stab of excitement, she took the other woman's hands in her own, shivering slightly as a tingling warmth spread up her arms and into her chest.

She watched as the energy within the blonde came rushing to the surface, intrigued by the small tendrils of blue and yellow light that danced like electricity over their clasped hands. Looking up, Natasha could see ribbons of energy flowing over the other woman's body, creating a halo of golden light around the blonde. Not for the first time, she couldn't help but be struck by the sheer power Carol kept hidden just below the surface, and noted how eagerly it came out of hiding.

"How do you keep it contained?" Natasha asked suddenly, voicing her ruminations, "all this power inside of you, how do you control it?"

Carol shrugged.

"I don't really, it's just a part of me now. In the beginning it would sometimes get away from me, usually when I got too emotional or--"

"Riled up?" Natasha grinned.

The other woman laughed.

"Or, apparently, while in the presence of certain people..." Carol smiled as she slid Natasha's hands around her neck. She felt her heart start to pound in her chest as the blonde placed her hands around her waist.

"Are you ready?" the other woman asked softly.

Natasha quirked an eyebrow.

"You do realize I've done my fair share of flying," she smirked, even as she felt a wave of excitement rush through her.

"Not like this," Carol chuckled as Natasha felt her feet leave the ground.

The sensation was unlike anything she had ever experienced before, and she had experienced a lot in her time. It was like gravity suddenly no longer existed. Carol rose silently and effortlessly into the evening sky, her golden hair fluttering slightly in the warm breeze as her chestnut eyes glowed warmly. Unlike the blinding spectacle from earlier, the energy shimmering around her was soft and diffuse. Natasha felt relaxed in the other woman's arms, and a level of trust she would have been resistant to let herself feel before. As Carol gradually came to a stop, she scooped Natasha into her arms, the moment unexpectedly romantic as they gazed at each other in the light of the setting sun.

"Hold on," the blonde said with a small smile.

Tightening her grip around the other woman's neck, Natasha braced herself as Carol took off, the light around them intensifying as they soared over the landscape below. It was the most exhilarating feeling Natasha had ever experienced, and she knew she was unabashedly grinning ear to ear. As the wind blew past her face and swept through her hair, she watched the scenery below streak by in a blur. The blonde was right, this was definitely a different kind of flying, and Natasha loved it. The other woman pulled her closer as they soared higher, so high they could see the first stars beginning to peak out in the fading light of the evening sky. It was spectacular.

As the sun began to dip lower in the sky, and the light started to fade, Carol changed direction and made her way back to the compound. Reaching their destination, they hovered over the sprawling lawn, the other woman's glowing chestnut eyes holding Natasha's as they descended slowly. The moment her feet touched the ground, Natasha leaned in suddenly and kissed the blonde before the energy could dissipate.

The sensation was literally electric, every hair immediately stood on end as she felt the other woman's power and strength flow though her. Obviously caught off guard, Carol hesitated for a moment before pulling her closer to deepen the kiss. Wanting more, Natasha ran her fingers through the blonde's fiery hair, her breath catching as tendrils of energy traveled down her arms all the way to her toes. The feeling intensified as she moved closer, pressing her body completely flush against the other woman's. When they finally pulled apart, Natasha was breathless, her heart pounding in her chest as she cupped the blonde's face.

"I love you," she said softly, unable to hold it in. It was going to take some getting used to, but it made her feel more alive than she ever had before.

"I love you too," Carol said quietly, in a way that made Natasha's heart melt just a little bit.

Smiling, she slipped her hand into Carol's as they started to walk towards the compound.

"So... dinner?" she asked, remembering their original plans for the evening.

"What did you have in mind?"

"My quarters," Natasha replied casually, curious what Carol's response would be.

Hearing the blonde chuckle, she felt the butterflies in her stomach stir.

"Sounds perfect," the other woman grinned, her chestnut eyes twinkling in the dimming light.

Reaching the main entrance, they stepped inside just as the last rays of sunlight finally faded behind them. With the warmth of Carol's hand in her own, Natasha smiled to herself, realizing maybe she did deserve to be happy after all.

\-----


End file.
